is a fucking gargantuan cunt.

I haven’t much to add to this nom except that I am just basically, almost reaching out, like some sad needy cunt, to any fellow cunters who have ever suffered from this bastard of an affliction.

Up until recently – I have never struggled to kip. Not even during the most turbulent periods of my life. Until now that is. And there’s fuck all stressful going on either.

My job and my family life can be as stressful as the next persons but it’s not like that’s anything new.

I suffered my first 3 day bout of total sleeplessness approximately a year ago and it has reoccurred on several occasions since.

I am currently in the middle of another sleepless period where I feel tired but at the same time feel like I could climb the walls or run a fucking marathon.

Went to see the GP recently and they prescribed some pretty heavy sedative/anti depressants which I very reluctantly tried, just to get some decent shut eye but the things made me feel like a zombie for the whole of the next day and then some.
Allied to that is the fact that as we’re only a small business – I can’t justify crying off sick for long periods over something as simple as a decent night’s kip and need to be on my A game.

Been doing a bit of running and other exercises to hopefully burn up some nervous energy.

I’m hoping this is just a phase and something that will pass.

First world problem I know and no doubt all in the mind – but Christ on a BMX – please just let me sleep.

Any suggestions are welcome.

Daily Fail

Nominated by Herman Jelmet.

 
There is no doubt about it, come the next election, whoever wins, Westminster will become a dirtier place.

Just yesterday the horse faced Jess Phillips was in trouble again for not declaring all of her outside earnings, but, even wore, after the mention of Nick Clegg a few days ago, yet another here today, gone tomorrow LibDem whore (“I can be whoever you want me to be”), it seems that Mark Oaten, involved in a squalid Mark and 2 rent boys in the same bed malarkey a decade ago, is itching to get his well used arse on the benches again

Have these idiots no sense of decency or shame?. Total lack of self-awareness and a desire to meddle in things they know nothing about (and all the lovely money and “expenses” to accompany it) makes them want to make complete arseholes of themselves.

order-order

Nominated by W C Boggs.

A couple of years ago I put up a nom on the subject of irritating screen clichés. I was delighted at the manner in which cunters weighed in on the subject and kicked these tiresome tropes to death.

Or so I thought. Annoyingly, another batch of hackneyed scenes and tired lines has crept out of the woodwork for me to have a go at, because lazy scriptwriters and directors just can’t see past them. So ‘don’t you die on me’, because ‘we’ve got a situation here!’. Here are just a few examples that invariably elicit an ‘oh for fuck’s sake’ response from me.

Cut to a scene in any detective drama. Some fashionable types are at an art exhibition or the launch of some singer’s new record, chit-chatting and sipping champagne. Suddenly there’s a scream, the tinkle of a glass breaking, and yells of ‘oh my Gahhd!’ as the star is found face down, a dagger in the back. A female voice off camera then bleats ‘somebody call 911!’.

Then you’ve got the scene where the good guy and the bad guy finally face off. Before all hell breaks loose, the villain feels obliged to philosophise on the nature of his relationship with the hero; ‘you know, it doesn’t have to be like this. We’re not so different, you and me’.

How about the one where the male/female buddy cops are drinking coffee on a stakeout and she says (there’s ‘chemistry’ building between them, remember) ‘ok, so are ya finally gonna tell me what’s really going on between you an’ Maddie?’. He looks into the middle distance, ponders for a second or two, then replies ‘it’s … complicated’. Oh and let’s not forget the one where the treacherous spy chief sneers at the in-over-his-head hero ‘you’ve absolutely no idea what you’ve gotten into!’.

I could cunt indefinitely on this subect, but unfortunately, ‘we’re running out of time!’.
Sadly, ‘this ends now!’.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_kBdnziEFA&t=28s

Nominated by : Ron Knee

A nomination for the recent development in street narcotics, ‘Tranq’

Not only has this nasty little cocktail seen overdoses in the Southern US increase by ten times in a year, it has the lovely side effect of necrotising the flesh of itsfrequent users.

Tranq is the family favourite Fentanyl cut with herd animal tranquilizer Xylazine, that enhances the high. The trouble is that both drugs on their own are very good at suppressing respiratory and cardiac functions and therefore incredibly easy to overdose on, as weĺ as the Xylazine having the necrotising effect. the reason why is uncertain, but lesions and pustules erupt on the skin creating open wounds that become infected. Amputations of limbs in the addicted are frequent.. it’s either that or die of blood poisoning.

It looks like a truly awful drug.
(Wasters with no impulse control and a drain on society being eaten alive then dying? Not seeing a problem here – NA)

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2023/mar/30/xylazine-drug-overdoses-fentanyl
(Link provided by Miserable northern cunt)

Nominated by : Cuntamus Prime

Yup, not inappropriate to be shouting out names for todgers on daytime telly.

I have no issue with there being adverts for sorting out floppy nob syndrome, it can happen to any cunt (not me of course), I just think adverts talking about ‘erectile dysfunction’ shouldn’t be on while the kids are still awake.

I’m sure little kids all over the country have been asking parents such things as, “Dad. What’s erectile dysfunction?”

Not awkward at all.

Surely putting these adverts on during the ad break for Scooby Doo is a bit much?

Maybe I’m being a bit Mary Whitehouse, but I just reckon these adverts should only be on after 10pm.

Why not advertise my king sized Johnnies and your nipple clamps during Tiswas then? (fuck knows what kids watch nowadays, sorry)

Old article but it covers the topic.

Metro

Nominated by Cuntybollocks.