‘Gum Gobbers’
We’re all well acquainted with the problems posed by anti-social behaviour. We’ve waxed lyrical on ‘IAC’ on a range of such behaviour, from cunt cyclists to litter louts, through to druggies. I hereby nominate another category of anti-social fuckwit to the list, who, for want of a better term, I’ll label ‘gum gobbers’.
Gum gobbers are tosspots who chew gum then spit it out wherever they happen to be; in the street, a shopping precinct, the underground etc and so on. You see gobs of this shit everywhere, stuck like superglue. It paints a disgusting picture, but beyond that, it’s environmentally unfriendly. Being made of a form of rubber, it’s extremely tough and durable, and takes a very long time to degrade. Just try getting a lump of this guck off your shoe, and then imagine being in the position of a local council, trying to remove literally tons of it that have been deposited in public places every year, at a cumulative cost of millions to the nation.
Manufacturers of this crap are as culpable as the wankers who spit it out. They claim to have tried to create a biodegradable alternative, but that this hasn’t proved possible. Oh really, or are you just not prepared to put enough of your vast profits into a real search, Mr Wrigley? I’d love to see a levy put on your product to help pay for clearing the mess you help to create in Britain, so put that in your corporate pipe and smoke it.
In the front line of this cunting however are the gobbers themselves. The thick arsewipes are too lazy to dispose of their shit responsibly, and instead deposit it, with a glob of their spit, onto the pavement by the cartload. I’d make all of you fuckers get down on your hands and knees and scrape your muck up with a spoon. Then I’d make you eat it while an army of paid enforcers kicked your arses. It would be money well spent, you shitheaded cunts.

Nominated by Ron Knee

‘Friends’
I’d like cunt the “hit” TV sitcom ‘Friends’, and others like it.

It’s been years since it came to its well overdue end, but, as it is shown daily on Comedy Central, it still holds the power to turn twenty-something men into cucked, feeble, needy, mangina faggots, and women into broody, conventional, lactating, vapid frumps.

Lets take the situation of Joey and Chandler. In the early seasons, all they wanted to do get laid, go to sports events, sit on their arses and watch TV. Like most blokes do.
Enter Monica, a colourless, cleaning-obsessed, insecure, neurotic rake with small tits and a gob so big you could practically sit in it.
At some point, she ends up fucking Chandler. What happens? He turns into a soft, spiritless, sprog-yearning, blank-firing shadow of his former self, controlled by his dictator-like spouse, raising babies that aren’t even his own. Nice.

And this is exactly my point, the TV shows and movies that are being pushed onto the public are rife with this banal, brainwashing picture-perfect, wholesome, happy family, child-promoting bollocks, completely devoid of creativity, individuality and originality. And to top it off, nowadays, it’s teeming with PC rhetoric, token minorities in the spotlight (because Muslims are just like us and can be funny too, you know!) substandard plots and even worse dialogue. Turning, what could be free-thinking, intelligent, young men and women into boring, uninteresting, production line, sound-to-be depressed and sexually frustrated zombies.

Nominated by Lord Cuntony

The Leicester Three
Three men have been found guilty of murder after setting fire to a shop in Leicester. Petrol was used to start the fire, and the resulting explosion caused the deaths of five people. The court heard that the shopkeeper and two friends destroyed the property in an insurance scam because the business was failing. According to the prosecutor, ‘the devastation caused was carried out with the intention to kill’.
Clearly these callous brutes were completely driven by greed, and acted without any sense of human decency whatsoever. The full authority and weight of the law must be brought to bear to ensure that these monsters can never again present a threat to society.
Time to name and shame those responsible as Aram Kurd, Arkan Ali, and Hawkar Hassan. Er, hang on… How could these men ever hope to receive a fair trial? Clearly they’re hapless victims of repressive white privilege, of a patriarchal justice system that is inherently fascistic and institutionally racist (burble). Right on I mean right thinking individuals everywhere (blah) must stand and fight this bigotry in the name of Social Justice. Social Justice Warriors unite! Free The Leicester Three!!

Nominated by Ron Knee