Allan’s Snackbar


Breaking news, another knife attack by a peaceful worshipper in Manchester yesterday.

Apparently he was yelling ‘Allahu Akbar’ during the attack, but the good old BBC omitted this in their report.
Here is a quote from that report :

Officers said counter terrorism police were leading the inquiry, but they were keeping an open mind on the motive.

Well call me Agatha Christie, but is a goatfucker, armed with a twelve inch knife, running down a train platform shouting Allan’s Snackbar, looking to stab anyone in the vicinity, not a terrorist? Or am I biased?

Manchester police were lampooned in 2016 for conducting a drill for this very scenario.

Cunts, the whole fucking lot of them.

Nominated by Hugh Jardon

Jack Radio

Jack Radio – launched just recently with the tagline ‘Women. Playing what we want’
Basically a rip off of the old Jack FM (now Sam FM) ‘Playing what we want’, but this one features women only, women presenters, women singers, including cover versions of male songs by, …WIMMIN!!!!!!
Sexist? Not arf mate. Cunts? most definitely.

Nominated by Mystic Maven

BBC Radio 4 ‘Comedy’

Radio Four ‘Comedy’
A nomination for BBC Radio Four ‘comedy’. Not sure if this has already been nominated previously, if so then this is an endorsement.
With the exception of ‘I’m sorry I haven’t a clue’ (usually quite amusing, except when that cunt Jeremy Hardy is on), Radio Four comedy is crap – a load of liberal lefty cack, from a load of desperately unfunny ‘comedians’ and an audience made up of braying metro tossers. The News Quiz and The Now show are at the top of the list for cuntdom.

Nominated by Mystic Maven

Flashmobs

Flashmobs
Flashmobs are tedious wankfests, aren’t they?

In the days of yore, if you wanted to advertise your business, you took out a newspaper advertisement or paid a hippy to write a bollock-aching jingle for the radio. Either that or you paid a simpleton to saunter up the high street with a sandwich board or dressed as a banana, dishing out leaflets with a cretinous smile.

Not in the 21st century. Now we have to endure this gleeful torture.

A gaggle of people who “have never met” start dancing in a public place supposedly for no reason, then all disperse separately giving the illusion that it was spontaneous creativity and not furiously rehearsed and painfully stage-managed.

The people performing always seem startlingly elated, as if feeling the effects of recently-imbibed, high-octane Class As.

I can’t imagine that such insipid displays would actually affect any sane person’s purchasing decision. “Well, I was going to buy this morning’s over-priced hot water from FuckBucks but after that dazzling whirl, closely filmed at every angle from twelve different cameras advertising Starcunts Coffee, I’ll buy it from them instead!”

The dancers are the kind of loud, over-excited, shallow gurners who dream of being the sixth dancer from the left at the back of The Lion King. Flashmobs are mostly for pretentious, fame-craving, popularity whores who think they’re artists but are merely paid hussies from corporate puppetmasters.

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

Southall Black Sisters

Southall Black Sisters
Long time cunt, first time cunter. I’d like to nominate Southall Black Sisters for a massive cunting.

Who? I hear you ask. Exactly.

Thanks to an insufferably fawning article in ‘The Guardian’ (natch), I learned that this bunch of fucking nobodies have teamed up with uber-cunts Liberty (those fuckwits formerly headed by Shamrock Chucklebutty) to bring the first ‘super-complaint’ against the police to stop them checking witnesses against the Home Office to see if they’re illegals. Liberty lawyer Debaleena Dasgupta (a fine British name if ever I’ve heard one), is quoted as saying:

“The only acceptable solution is the formal creation of a firewall – a cast-iron promise that personal information collected about victims and witnesses by public services like the police will not be shared with the Home Office for immigration enforcement purposes.”

Now, taking aside the argument that whilst police make these checks, it allows criminals to threaten witnesses into silence, surely the plod’s main job is stopping all crime. And being in the UK illegally is, by definition, a crime. Not to mention that if people can’t make a living legally, they resort to illegal means. Personally, I want less illegal cunts on the streets, not fucking more.

Rather than tell this bunch of upstart cunts to fuck off, it seems the police are taking the complaints seriously and are already bringing in new guidelines to prevent officers accessing the Home Office database to make random checks. And they wonder why normal folk despise the cops so much.

Honestly, you couldn’t fucking make it up. The Guardian, Liberty, Southall Black Sisters and weaselly cops – cunts one and all, and utter wastes of oxygen to boot.

Nominated by Le Cunt Noir