Munchie Boxes.

“In this particular take on the Scottish delicacy, you get: two battered pizza slices, battered cod, two battered sausages, two battered beef burger patties, some potato fritters, onion rings, chicken nuggets and a large chips.”….all this for £10 !

What a wise way to invest the last tenner of your Giro once you’ve bought your lottery tickets,baccy and White Lightning cider. No need to fart around cooking proper meals when you can just settle down in front of your 56 inch Brighthouse telly and have a “Munchie Box” delivered to your door….and just think,the leftovers’ll do for the bairns’ breakfast in the morning.

Now I’ve got nothing against the odd takeaway,but you can just imagine the kind of person who’ll be buying this heart-attack in a greasy box. Lazy fat Cunts’ll probably be calling an ambulance on their mobile-phones when they wake up the next morning with rancid guts. Too selfish and entitled to take any self- responsibility, they think that it’s their “right” to live as they like on the taxpayers’ Pound.

Fuck them.

Nominated by Dick Fiddler

Barmy as this sounds, I’d like to nominate Macron because I petsonally think he organised for the Notre Dame cathedral to be set alight. I wouldn’t put it past him to do this so that the people of France can get behind him and all the yellow vesters will just stay at home. Well it wouldn’t be the first time in history that something like this has happened i.e. Nazis burning the Reichstag for their own gain. I smelled a poisson rouge when I heard Macron had popped by the Cathedral at midnight to say ‘Oui, we will rebuild.”

Even if you all think it’s unlikely that Macron did order this act of arson, don’t let that stop us having a moaning session about him. Plus this might be one of the last opportunities to spread conspiracies due to the EU’s new internet laws.

Nominated by Cuntologist

Now I understand why Brexit was delayed. There’s now an opportunity to get a massive EU heritage grant for the rebuilding – using British money.

Add that to your thirty billion divorce deal.

Come on, Nigel. There has to be an angle here you can exploit…

Nominated by Dioclese

I was perusing the “Recently Featured” section on Pornhub and noticed that several of the performers were labelled as ” British……”. Looking at the “taster clips”, I was struck by what a bunch of Mingers they all looked to be. Tattooed,hard-faced,multi-pierced,out-of-condition trollops,in the main.

Now I’m not expecting them to all look innocent and sweet,and the odd tattoo on a tart doesn’t bother me,but compared to other nationalities of porn stars,it seems that Britain leads the world in producing cheap looking slappers. I wouldn’t care,but some of them would have been far bonnier without all the ink and stud work.

I’ll happily watch most porn,but if these British “stars” refuse to smarten themselves up,they’ll discover that this is one old Wanker who won’t be leering at their contortions.

Won’t Fuck them.

Nominated by Dick Fiddler

Why, oh Lord, why??

No sooner does a bit of nice weather grace us with its presence than hordes of these revolting pests put in an appearance, swarming about thicker than migrating peacefuls.

I’ve read scholarly dissertations about how these cunts are actually a wonder of nature, honed and perfected by 65 million years of Darwinian evolution to prosper perfectly in their environment.

I remain to be convinced by this thesis. I’ve just spent a quarter of an hour or so watching one of its kind alternating between whizzing around my light and hurling itself furiously against the window; a perfect demonstration of the antics of, well, a blue arsed fly.

Yes, after 65 million years, it would appear that this is the summit of this creature’s ambition and capabilities. Finally I stirred myself enough to open said window, through which it promptly fucked off, no doubt in search of a gooey, fetid dog turd upon which to alight and spend the night. In the morning it will resume its mission in life in conjunction with four trillion of its compatriots; namely, spreading filth and pestilence around the world as fast as its little wings will carry it.

Bluebottles. I ask again; why? I suppose the one thing that can be said in their defence is that they’re part of the food chain. Some creatures will actually eat these cunts. That said, I doubt that Mother Nature would account these abominations amongst Her greatest achievements, and I for one would heartily agree with that sentiment.

Nominated by Ron Knee

I’m sorry I know many of you don’t like to be reminded of B——, but whether you are a leaver or remainer I think you must agree that this steaming heap of shit has no right to refer to Brexiteers as “Nazis” as the idiot has done on the BBC again, moreover just Tories, apparently Labour leavers are —- well, you tell us hammy Lammy:

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/politics/labour-second-referendum-campaigner-david-lammy-likens-tory-brexiteers-to-nazis-a4117581.html

During that interview the cunt has to drag in the fact he is an ethnic minority. Playing the race card on TV seems a bit stupid – does Lammy not know people could see as well as hear him making an arsehole of himself?.

It just proves with MPs down to his standard how far politics has fallen into the gutter into this country

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

David Lammy appeared on the Andrew Marr show this weekend. He is a racist bigot…who now thinks he’s a tv celebrity…Even LBC radio gave him a show not so long ago…

He is yet another champagne socialist who likes to preach equality, yet lives the millionaire high life…

He, like Diane Abbott, is only interested in the black community, and made himself look a right fraggle when he had a pop at Stacy Dooley, who has done far more good highlighting worldly problems than this black Hitler has ever done in parliament…

Lammy, you really are a Cunt

Nominated by Munchy Waller