Sense Of Humour By-Pass

Firstly, I am not out to cunt fellow cunters here – That’s off limits and rightly so. Yet it seems that a number of commenters want to restrict our beloved IsAC site to Brexit or politics. Otherwise to piss, moan and whinge about any carefully crafted nomination that pops up – recently mine included, without actually nominating a subject themselves.

Some folk pepper their responses with loquacious faux-erudition, attempting to enforce their superior linguistic intellect upon us poor uneducated remedials. (Good luck with that – if us lesser beings can’t understand what you’re yammering on about – why the fuck make your point so indecipherably ?)

Now Admin do a brilliant job of whittling down subject matter and choosing to allow or disallow nominations through for public discussion. I’ve been criticised for cunting such trivialities as Imperial Leather – Yet those cunters who responded added layer upon layer of wit and wisdom to my original rant and I thank each and every one. My nominations (99% of which have made it through to posting – thanks to our wonderful Admin team) but most have been (I hope) a humorous take on things in life which piss me off to the point of writing up a cunting.

I don’t visit IsAC on a daily basis to flaunt an intellectual superiority. I don’t visit IsAC on a daily basis to read up on Theresa’s latest capitulation to the EU. I visit IsAC on a daily basis to have a fucking good laugh at my fellow cunters’ observations on a myriad of different matters, regardless of whether or not their opinions are aligned with my own.

If this site begins taking itself too seriously, I’m outta here!

Nominated by Cunt Reviled

Wee Jimmy and ‘indyref2’
Regulars on IsAC will know that I’ve got a great affection for Scotland, and for the Scots in general (which is a good job, as I’m married to one!). My comment is qualified by use of the term ‘in general’, because when it comes to taking or leaving something, I can most surely leave the SNP, and in particular its mumping chief mouthpiece, Nicola ‘Wee Jimmy Krankie’ Sturgeon.
In all conscience I cannot therefore quote St. Margaret of Grantham and say ‘rejoice! rejoice!’ on learning that Wee Jimmy has delivered forth yet another pronouncement on the subject of a second referendum on Scottish independence. In an article in ‘The National’ (Scotland’s answer to the ‘Volkischer Beobachter’), The Dear Leader has stated that an ‘indyref2 update’ will be made when MSPs return to Holyrood after the Easter recess. Heck, I can hardly contain my apathy; ‘hod me back’, as the missus would say.
No doubt like most of Nick Nick’s utterances, this one will be made through those now familiar mean, pinched little lips, the demeanour as ever one of petulance and tested patience, the expression as sour as a baby sucking on a very bitter lemon. Wee Jimmy Krankie with a poker up her arse, one who cannot acknowledge with grace the fact that the Scots have already voted on the proposal, and turned it down. Like Remoaners, she and her ilk now want another ‘peoples’ vote’, aka a ‘losers’ vote’.
Sturgeon is the broken record of British politics, an angry wasp buzzing around inside a jam jar; and yet at the same time, evincing an air of smug triumphalism which comes from the absolute certainty in the justice of The Cause.
Independence may come at some point or it may never come, but one thing is certain. Wee Jimmy will continue to peddle her agenda of grudge and grievance for as long as there are ears to hear. Just dae us a favour and gie it a fuckin’ rest. Plum Wodehouse once wrote ‘it is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine’. Many a true word is spoken in jest, and never was that more true than in the case of Nicola Sturgeon, Scotland’s First Gurner.

Nominated by Ron Knee

Newcastle City Council have called on the Police to ban a march by a “right-wing hate group.” Councillor Habib Rahman has been lobbying the Police to ban the march because,much to his disappointment,no doubt,the Council lack the powers to ban a legitimate organisation from marching, He has condemned the group as hate filled bigots looking to stir up racial tensions. He has also contacted local Muslim organisations to tell them that he will do his utmost to prevent such marches taking place in the future.

I thought that I’d look up this vile group of racists to find out what hate-filled bile they were preaching. I found their “mission statement”…..

“NORTHEAST FRONTLINE PATRIOTS

We have started this group to highlight issues that are happening up and down this country. Sexual abuse and grooming of children will be our main focus along with terrorism and anything else that threatens this country. We want to highlight the forgotten abuse that goes on in care homes, and all other public sectors that abuse their power and think its acceptable to commit these crimes against children and adults alike. We want to stand out from other groups and we believe a paedophille is a paedophille no matter what colour, religion or creed. We have no place in society for such heinous crimes. We will strive to listen to all our members and will always take their views onboard. We want this movement to help all victims of these crimes, we will support them and their families unconditionally. We have no place for racism and will always demonstrate peacefully. We believe in freedom of speech, democracy and will always welcome everyone who also oppose such crimes. There will be no egos we are all equals in this movement as we believe this is the way forward. We will expel nazis and they will never be welcomed here as there is no place in society for these people either. We will always support our armed forces and veterans along with the homeless who have been failed by this government, we will be the voice for them all. We will never ask for money as we believe to many groups are very money oriented and it costs nothing to voice your opinions. We are here to serve this country anyway we can. We are the voice of the people and we will always fight for your rights. We will support all other groups with the same notions as us and we will welcome all groups to support us. Unity is a key factor within this organisation as we believe if everyone comes together we will have a stronger voice. One voice can be heard but many voices cannot be ignored. Unlike the government of this country we will never cover anything up and we will certainly never turn a blind eye. We shall be doing local things to start with, with a view to expanding the movement across the country. We believe flash demonstrations have a huge impact and are hard hitting in local areas so we encourage everyone to do this in their local areas”

Doesn’t exactly read like a hate-filled manifesto designed to stir up racial tensions to me, but I suppose that I’m not the Councillor who has kept a discreet silence on Muslim grooming gangs and “special interest” groups in Newcastle. How lucky that he’s there to protect the peaceful people of Newcastle from those that would commit vile atrocities and spread hatred.

Nominated by Dick Fiddler

Tiger Woods is a cunt…
All this fucking fuss about ‘The Greatest Sports Comeback Ever’…
I know the likes of the BBC will obviously say this about comebacks (Cuz he black), but even a cunt who has never played golf in his life could have won the thing in 11 fucking years…

Also, like so many of them out there, the past shitty behaviour of Woods will now be conveniently overlooked or not mentioned at all… After all he’s a role model who has struggled against oppression and this gives him carte fucking blanche like the rest of ’em…Oh Lordy Yessir….

Nominated by Norman