Porn Site Age Checks

As from July 15th 2019, perverts, swingers and lonesome wankers who frequent porn-sites via UK based ISPs, will have to prove that they are over 18. The idea being to prevent minors from “accidentally” accessing said porn sites and becoming traumatized by everyone fucking each other any which way!

However, this only applies to websites that carry roughly 35% of its content as porn material, which means the likes of Facebook, Reddit, Snapchat and most other popular social media sites that do carry porn are exempt from such checks!!

Recent polls suggest that 60% of respondents approved of the idea – although there was no real breakdown of the demographic that took part (could have all been parents for all we know)

Anyway, to prove your age you have to hand over official paperwork such as a driver’s licence, passport, council tax forms or credit card statements etc.

Obviously this has raised concerns about data security, with some suggesting the whole “let’s protect our children” thing is complete bollocks, and it’s just government departments wanting to harvest even more of your personal information – as well as wanting to know what kind of pervert you really are!

This is greatly concerning should that data ever be hacked into and all of a sudden your viewing habits can be used as a black-mailing tool against you!

The simple solution is a VPN, as this disguises your whereabouts with an IP address sourced from anywhere in the world other than the UK, and as such will not be interrogated by any age checks to porn sites.

However, given this government’s total incompetence in preventing children from accessing booze, violent computer games, cigarettes, drugs, knives, guns, and fuck knows what else, this initiative will no doubt fall on its arse as well, especially since kids can get their kicks from the likes of Facebook and Reddit – two of the most popular SM sites in the world, and yet the government does not feel inclined to censor!

Wankers! (Or not come July 16th!)

Nominated by NoCuntForOldMen

Justin Bieber is a massive cunt…

Bieber says Fox News host Laura Ingraham “should be fired” for appearing to laugh when she was discussing the memorial procession of rapper Nipsey Hussle….

He posted on Instagram saying: “How dare you laugh in the face of a person who has passed on.”

Could this be the same Justin Bieber who egged fuck out his neighbour’s property? Or could it be the other Justin Bieber, who pissed in a hotel cleaner’s bucket instead of going to the gents ‘because he could’?…. Glass houses you mincing little cunt… Fuck off…

Nominated by Norman

‘Olympic sized swimming pools’.

What the fuck is it about OSSP’s that get so much press?

I’ve swam a few of these pools in my time and granted, they’re a fair size.

But I’ve never once stopped to think, I wonder how many football pitches would fill this fucker, or fuck me that’s a great big hole that’s been mined to make way for the new stadium, I wonder how many OSSP’s the rubble would fill?

So why the fuck do shit head reporters for Al-Beeb or Sly insist on this comparison.

And whilst I’m at it, how the fuck do they know how many football pitches, cunts, tons of rouble or whatever it takes to fill an Olympic sized swimming pool?

Nominated by CuntyMcCuntface

Chris Packham.
Not having a TV, I was slightly baffled when visiting my friendly local gunsmith and his name came up in conversation. Baffled, and incandescent enough to look the cunt up and sign a petition to get his dogooding vegan touchy feely (hands off, MPG and Krav) arse kicked straight out of the BBC’s expensive doors. Why?

I’ll try not to be too technical, but up to a couple of days before this cunting, any cunt anywhere with legal access to a piece of land and a gun could shoot pigeons without any further bureaucratic idiocy. Pigeons aren’t just a bloody nuisance with no musical ear, they’re vermin. They destroy crops, spread diseases and shit everywhere. Until yesterday, they were subject to a general licence (with other winged pests), and anyone could shoot them.

But super ecospunktrumpet Packham launched a legal challenge to this, and Natural England, the quango in charge of such matters, decided to bow to the lawyers and withdraw the general licence.
Killing pigeons is now illegal. You now have to apply for an individual licence to do so. The terms and conditions are stringent, ridiculously so, and I shudder to think of the extra expense of the bureaucracy required to deal with every cunt with an airgun, every farmer and the members of every rough shoot in the country…individually.
Thanks, you smug faketanned pigeon fetishist. I know nothing else of Packham, except that he looks like an overpaid snowflake cunt, which is what he is, and any cunter is free to fill in the details for me. Meanwhile, here’s the petition:

https://www.change.org/p/bbc-bbc-to-sack-chris-packham

There;s another petition to keep the cunt on, so it’s war.

Nominated by Komodo

My son in law got me a ticket to see Packham as he knows I am a wild creature and nature fan.
Fuck me. Packham seems to be ‘on the spectrum’ as they say. He fascinated us with deliberately out of focus pictures, shots of him photographing birds in a Gambian sewage farm where he says he spends his holidays, lying in kaffir shit. Unhinged and fucking boring at the same time.
Coming to a theatre near you. Avoid.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

Aladdin is a cunt, isn’t he?

This story is having another make-over as Hollywood, bereft of ideas, deficient of creativity, has decided to rehash this hackneyed shit for more moolah.

I thought he was Chinese but it’s now set in Arabia. Let the sanitising begin.

No mention of killing infidels or murder training camps because the fairy story of Aladdin was created before the fairy story of Allåh was created. Perhaps they should’ve made a modernised film, Aladdin joins a death squad, becomes a Religious fanatic, travels through eleven countries perpetually claiming to be a “refugee” then arranges to meet Jasmine, one of his four pregnant 16-year old wives while strapping a bomb to his back but calling it a ‘magic lamp.” Psh.

As the cherry on the turd, this shitestorm has a special whiff of crap: Will “cuntface” Smith is the Genie which means layers of treacly, smug charm, casual “he’s a white boy” comments, and teeth bleached to ‘dazzle’ mode. What a load of Camel shit on a flying carpet.

? A whole new wo-orrld…✨ Get fucked.

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous