To me it seems we are wasting tax payers money turning our shitty little motorways into smart motorways. All this means is we have to employ a load of fat cunts watching CCTV of us all sitting in the same fucking traffic jams as we did before the motorways were smart.

Plus there is the huge amount of upheaval involved in converting motorways to smart motorways. Many, many miles of temporary speed limits, average speed cameras and cones. Never a cunt actually doing any work though and if there is one he’s got 3 more cunts watching.

Surely we could have spent the money better by building more roads? Instead we are wasting more money employing people to keep watch over smart motorways, money which could have spent it on maintaining said roads.

What really fucks me off about smart motorways is the way they have opened up the ability for the authorities to fine the motorist for pretty much anything.

Maybe they should have just called
them toll roads?

Either way they are cunts, designed by cunts and run by cunts.

Nominated by Cuntswhallop

The ‘Millennial’ Generation

Skinny fake-nerd runts and fat trannies. Just the fact you actually refer to yourselves as ‘millennials’ makes you cunts. Do you think anyone from my generation would actually rock up and say ‘Hi I’m from generation X…’ fuck off. It’s a marketing term and the fact you cartoon-watching cunts buy into it as a reality like you’re some sort of seperate species is testament to your cunty pricks. You’ve given us trans-obsession you fuckers, how about giving the world a decent fucking band? Christ at this point I’d settle for a decent fucking song but you cunts are incapable of creating anything exciting, incendiary, or genuinely dissenting in music (add to that no master filmmakers). Do you not feel like a right bunch of cunts being fatter than your parents, men wearing dresses, getting excited by the latest children’s movie on show at the local idiot-plex? Fuck off.

Nominated by MandroidZ

High time I gave an obscure cunting to Coffee-Fuelled Commuters.

You know the type. The Essex-based estate agent and/or middle management project co-ordinator, marauding around Paddington train station for the 6:45 Bristol Parkway via Reading; kitted out in an ill-fitting Next clearance-sale suit creased to the fucking hilt, skinny tie which if one squinted could look appealingly like a noose, hair styled into some hedgehog shit with last night’s unwashed grease, shuffling in disproportionately shiny loafers clutching manbag, laptop case… and clinging on for dear life to a shitty, sugary syrup abomination otherwise known to these fuckers as ‘coffee’.

Bleary-eyed, these cunts cannot even stomach the 10-minute journey from A to Bedford without sipping on a Costa concoction of daylight robbery vanilla bullshit mochachino. I’m not sure about anyone else but the pungent fucking aroma of cunt-commuter fuel with two extra shots drives me to fucking distraction.

Don’t get me wrong, I love a decent cup of ground coffee but tend to drink it quite sparingly, and never get what passes for ’coffee’ in these manufactured outlets. A nice coffee from a local cafe is harder and harder to find because the poor fucking owners are always driven out by the megalomanic shit merchants.

But more annoying than the beverage itself are the cunts who slavishly prop themselves up on it. Beryl from accounts, that fat overbearing matriarch, talking loudly on her iPhone in the quiet coach about team targets and diversification of resources, with her withered and fag-parched lips supping so loudly on her Starbucks that I have to flex every sinew with agonisingly furious restraint, in order to stop myself repeatedly head-butting the triple-glazed window ‘til the merciful sleep of unconsciousness saves me from myself.

From bean to cup, they’re fucking cunts.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

A valedictory cunting for Mavis May.

Her term as Home Sec was a fuck-up it turns out.
She took over EU negotiations using Remoaner aides and without planning for a No-Deal fallback from day one. The only thing the EU fears.
She called a general election where it was deemed that her personality would win the day. Unfortunately, she doesn’t have one.
She somehow managed to unite Remoaners and Brexiteers against her deal. Some fucking feat.
She didn’t sack Chris Grayling, surely the most incompetent cunt ever to hold public office. Also some fucking feat on Grayling’s behalf.
And she clung on and on and on until even her fucking soppy cunt of a husband lost faith.

Farewell my Lovely.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

Most towelheads who land up on the beach at Herne Bay or Folkestone in the early hours usually just ask for the address of the nearest benefits office, but now we have a new breed of soy boy for whom child allowance is just not enough.

A cunting with benefits please for this sixteen year old money grubbing fucker – a Syrian “refugee” who has found the wherewithal to sue Tommy Robinson for defamation, because his little teenage feelings have been hurt

We have quite enough fucking trouble makers of our own clogging up the courts. If this little cunt doesn’t appreciate free speech, perhaps he should fuck off back to Syria and take a boatload of his fellow “refugees” with him, but I know and you know he will weep in the witness box and win.

Nominated by W. C. Boggs