I want to cunt pubs in general and the government causing the divide and conquer attitude.

Since the smoking ban and the introduction of punch taverns(chicken/egg) situation, pubs have become fucking terrible.
I fucking love beer and debating anything that people feel strongly about.
The smoking ban did a few things, it stopped conversation between friends. The train of thought was lost when half of the group wanted a smoke.
It invited women and children into pubs.
And it created an entire generation to buy beer from supermarkets.

I don’t go out much now because I’m from the latter of above. I’m used to it, it’s cheaper and I can do what the fuck I want at home.

Now, my point is I went to a wedding celebration of my friends and had to pay money for Amstel beer. Piss weak pop for £3.65. I had 9 pints and drove home like I’d been drinking fucking water all night. I’m back home now in the loving arms of Stella for £21 for 30 cans.
Blah

Nominated by Candygram for mongo

Is there anything more annoying and pathetic than a fat, middle-aged couple walking into a cinema, balancing a Flabbott-sized bucket of popcorn on one hand and a jumbo-sized Coke container on the other? It is a particularly disgusting sight when he is wearing a tight tee-shirt that shows off the belly of a heavily pregnant woman and she is dressed like a slutty whore from Montmartre, circa 1930.

Most films nowadays are junk, but do you really need to buy overpriced and oversized portions of junk food to watch them?

Nominated by Mr Polly

A nomination for Netflix.

If it’s not decades-old series you’ve seen before, or flimsy documentaries with less depth than the average TEDtalk, or perhaps some dreck you were unlucky enough to see at the cinema in 2003, you might be watching a Netflix original with a half-baked plot, or a fantastically quirky limited release effort that grossed a third of its production budget because there just enough hipsters out there.

If you want to watch such fine cinema as Battle Drone, Colossal, Shanghzi Fortress or innumerable chopsocky action films from the eighties, watch Netflix.
If you want to binge on Family Guy wannabes with animation as slick as those drawings that loving parents of their semi-able children stick on their fridge, watch Netflix.
If you want a vast library of utter shit you once saw on Channel 4 in the small hours of the 1990s, watch Netflix.
If you want to watch stand up featuring mostly repulsive American women chirruping about cake and periods, or dopey American men talking about being a ‘new dad’, watch Netflix.
If you want to be hammered over the head with woke morality plays that only gets good reviews from millennial shills on zero hours contracts for clickwank sites like Fuzzbleed, watch Netflix.
If you’ve given up reading anything with pages, or been lobotomised, have no imagination and the IQ of an owl pellet, watch Netflix.

They’ve spent billions on acquiring the rights to whole libraries of wank, they have 30 billion dollars of liabilities, and their North American market has just seen its customer base shrink for the first time in many years.

Oh dear, and good riddance.

Nominated by Cuntamus Prime

Natasha Allen, a typical piece of Mancunian, chav scum, who exposed herself on a flight before screaming at cabin crew. She pulled her leggings and underwear down in front of passengers and crew on a Thomas Cook flight from Manchester to Fuerteventura. Her behaviour caused the captain to divert the plane to Faro, Portugal, Manchester Crown Court heard.

She had drunk half a bottle of duty-free vodka before boarding and tried to drink the other half on-board before it was confiscated by cabin crew.

The captain then asked crew for Allen’s passport details so the incident could be included on his flight report. A member of the crew tried to find the passport in Allen’s belongings when she was in the toilet. When she returned, she screamed at the member of staff, calling her a ‘f*****g thief’.

She was taken off the plane by Portuguese authorities. She pleaded guilty to being drunk on-board an aircraft as well as using threatening words of behaviour against a person, and was jailed for 15 months. Judge Hilary Manley, sentencing, said: “Your drunken, loutish, self-indulgent behaviour caused unease and disruption to passengers and cost and disruption to the airline. For passengers to be trapped on a metal tube at 40,000 feet with a drunken thug is terrifying”.

Why does it always seem to be flights from Manchester which are infested with this low life scum? – my words, not the Judge’s, although she probably thought something similar. Wonder if the passengers will get counselling after seeing that fat trollop in her undies?

Nominated by Mystic Maven