The NHS

I fucking hate the NHS.

Everyone thinks it’s wonderful, but I see it as a front for big pharma which is why their go to options are overpriced drugs or surgery. Or vaccinations like the one they keep banging on about now. Big pharma is in charge – therefore there are no other options.

Yes the frontline staff might be wonderful. Some of them. But the thing as a whole is going to bankrupt this country and apparently there’s nothing we won’t put up with if it benefits the NHS. We’ll even meekly submit to indefinite house arrest, to protect it! And sod what that does to our mental and physical health, sod the impact it will have on the economy. As long as the fucking NHS is Ok, the rest of us can literally go to hell.

The fucking NHS, like the fucking BBC should be allowed to collapse because then we can rebuild it in its original image. No non essential or vanity procedures unless you can damn well pay for it yourself. £14bn debt written off! That means added to our tax bill. £14bn worth of stupidity and ineptitude, but don’t worry – the stupid, docile taxpayers will stump up. They always do, the thick cunts.

Gaaah!

Nominated by Paul McCuntley

Sudden Gayness voice

An ‘ooooh get her’ cunting please for sudden gayness voice.

Each to their own, if somebody wants to cover their bellend in another man’s shite then that’s up to them.

What pisses me off are those blokes that seem straight and have a normal voice, accent and mannerisms. Then, they ‘come out’ and all of a sudden they’re full Larry Grayson or Graham Norton.

I worked with one of these twats years ago. He was a ginger and seemed straight. Talked about the footy etc. Liked a beer. Then he came in one day and announced that he was a bender. We laughed and thought he was taking the piss. He wasn’t. Fair enough. Each to their own. If one man wants to suck his own feces off another man’s nob, who am I to judge?

What annoyed me was that over a period of about 2 days, he became more and more filled with ‘the gayness’ , to the point he was flapping his arms about, rolling his eyes, bring overly dramatic and saying things like ‘Ooooh don’t be such a bitch.’

Gayness voice is fake news or something. Fuck off.

Nominated by Cuntybollocks

David Icke, and his balloon head followers.

This shit stirring lump of bat jizz has been peddling his conspiracy bollocks for years, and most people will just laugh in his stupid face when he starts his nonsense about six foot galactic lizards ruling the world, moon is a spaceship, blah fucking blah. But, being the astute conman that he is, he’s turned his mental illness into a goldmine, by preying on the fears and stupidity of cunts even duller than him. By trawling the internet, especially social media, he has not so much jumped on other conspiracy bandwagons, but has hijacked those conspiracies and woven them into his own deluded fantasy. This has brought him to a larger audience of suggestible who will buy into his shit (literally), even if they don’t believe the lizard crap.
His latest crackpot addition is the anti 5G mob, where he is now spreading the story than Coronavirus is merely a symptom of 5G exposure. Normally, the 3am loners and stoners that swallow all this horse shit will just repost and comment on it, using words like ‘sheeple’ and ‘truther’, but some of the more shallow end of that particular gene pool have taken action, and have attempted to burn down mobile phone masts, be them 5G or not.
This has now prompted the government to look into this bellend, as his rantings are encouraging thick people to carry out criminal acts. Of course, Icke has told his flock of cocks that this is just an attempt to silence him because he’s telling the truth, which of course the retards will believe every word he tells them.
Surely, if there was the slightest bit of truth in any of the shite this cunt has spouted in the last 35 years, these lizard cunts would have silenced him? Instead, they let him grass them up 24/7 on the internet, and write books and go on tours around the world, where he waves his weird club hands around filling empty heads with tripe that even a Scientologist wouldn’t believe. The cunt.

Nominated by Gutstick Japseye

News Correspondents require ostentatious cunting for their overzealous gesticulation during bulletins. In recent times, I have noticed an annoying trend, from mainly camera addicted reporters, of waving their arms about like demented chimpanzees. I suggest this is a futile bid to keep our attention from wandering whilst enduring their boring, insipid dialogue.

Ben Thompson on BBC’s breakfast is bad. Steph McGovern, with her female top half of a head and a man’s chin, used to be pretty bad, pre puer. Andrew Marr used to be quite bad pre stroke…. seems to have calmed down a bit now with one arm clamped to his side adhering finally to the BBC guide on how to behave in front of the camera. It stipulates that arms should never be “raised above the chest”. Well done Andrew!

It’s understandable that weather girls have to wave their arms about, to gesticulate the events of the impending weather front. Alas, even they are getting ‘right out of hand’ with it. I watched a gasp one morning as Laura Tobin on ITV rocked back and forth, waved her hands aloft with manic enthusiasm, enlivened no doubt at the thought of blue skies with only intermittent showers in Scotland (Cunts!). She did that folding arms toward the camera thing – as if to cradle a small child in embrace. She was a veritable hurricane of petulant chaos.

I remember Nicholas Witchell. None of that shenanigans with him. Old Nick just stood there looking bored shitless, reading his auto que to the camera with perfectly timed, monotone splendour and thinning ginger hair.

The only one who keeps her arms down consistently, for fear of getting shot I deduce, is the scrawny Irish gargoyle and war correspondent (BBC), Orla Guerin. She manages to find herself in the world’s worst shite holes, usually in active conflict. Pale as fuck and looking as weak as a new born gazelle, Orla stands there in a flak jacket and headscarf reminding us how lucky we are to live in the modern western world. Night after night without batting an eyelid, never mind thrashing her hands about, before going back to a toilet less hostel in the Middle East for a feast of chickpeas, sand and flat bread. CUNTS!

Nominated by Daz

Remainers deserve a nomination. To be honest, I thought a crushing, 80 seat majority and a fair few of these traitorous fuckers being out of the commons would bring to them to their senses, or at least make them shut the fuck up. And for a while, they did. Of course, I didn’t count on the motherfucking Chinese unleashing a pandemic on the entire planet. Ever since the Flu Manchu descended on us, some of these scumbags, egged on by those dicks across the channel, have been demanding that Brexit be extended yet again, by up to two years.

Fortunately the government, apparently mindful of its promise to the British electorate to “get Brexit done” have not caved in. Yet. The remainers, most notably Ian Blackford of the SNP, have been trying to use the Kung Flu to say that the UK has bigger things to deal with than our impending full and permanent exit from the Fourth Reich. This is bullshit. For centuries now, the government has had to deal with many issues, some of them very serious, like wars, at the same time, on a daily basis. There is absolutely no good reason why Brexit should be delayed. Especially since modern technology has ensured that negotiating in person isn’t even necessary. Sure, some haggling among individual negotiators is done outside of meeting rooms, in bars and cafes, but they’re even looking at ways of continuing that. So like I said, an extension, especially a two year extension, is completely unnecessary. And if the Kung Flu really was the reason for them wanting negotiations delayed, why aren’t they aren’t they vigorously applying the same argument to the trade negotiations with the US, which are due to begin soon?

We had three and a half years of these cunts doing everything they could to overturn Brexit. They failed. And now that the shoe is on the other foot, they don’t like it. Well, tough shit. I have no sympathy for these democracy denying Quislings. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. If they love the EU that much, they should fuck off to an EU country. Emma Thompson and her dipshit husband did. For four days.

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw