HOLLYOAKS

Absolute fucking stain on our society but yet the biggest example of it
The incomparable Rik Mayall once bleeted in the Young Ones “You’re about as alternative as Channel 4!”

It had the piss ripped out of it then for being shit and it’s got worse by trying to increase it’s “alternative” programming. Hollyoaks being the emperor cunt in a cuntempire.
Appalling acting, insufferable text-speak dialogue which is creeping into all soaps now (Violet Carson and Jean Alexander must be weeping blood up there watching the working class soap descend into a modern day orgy of juvenile shittery). Sublety has gone, respectful greats like Kenneth Williams would be more ashamed to come out now than he ever was during his repressed life due to the fucking smut that goes on in abhorations like this program.
It’s 90% arse invadery from the start with the whole “village” being lined with gays, transvestites and when it’s not thrusting consistant pride content at everyone, it’s chavvy girls getting ploughed before they’ve got their first bra.
Disgusting programme, but the truly terrifying thing is – this is accurate shit. This is the society we fester in and it’s a world of utter cunts.

Nominated by Stevo

Tresspassers are right self entitled cunts. Gayly clambering over gates with a sign on to fuck off yet ignoring it or making out they can’t see the footpath signs. Since the lockdown I have loads of people walking down my non-public Lane. A first world problem some will say. Yes it is but they’re still cunts.

Saw 6 people today climbing over a gate with no right of way sign. Challenged the fuckers and told them it was private land and the gobby woman said ‘since when?’

I’m going to get some barbed wire and put it on the gate. Will love to see them get over that next time. Cunts.

Nominated by Cuntologist

Our Relationship with Wild Animals

I was astonished to find myself agreeing with someone talking on the telly. He said something like-‘We are living in too close a proximity to wild animals.’. Once again the fault of Capitalism. The Capitalism that lays waste many natural habitats. So that the animals are forced into trying to survive in urban areas. There was a programme I once watched about it. Wild animals on the outskirts of a Durban I think . My point here is that who knows what medical issues could arise from more and more contact with wild animals and humans? Maybe another virus could ‘jump’ from them to us over time?
Allied -there’s a celeb news story at the moment. Joe ‘Exotic’ has said that his ex wife fed her ex husband to a tiger. Only in America as they say. They had a ‘private zoo’ together. Isn’t there something immensely shitty about a private individual being allowed to have a tiger?I dont think private individuals shoukd be allowed to keep wild animals at all. Wild animals should be er…in the wild.
I’ve got to say even though it seems harmless I don’t like people who keep snakes or lizards as pets. Couldn’t there be risks to human health because of it? Couldn’t another ‘virus’ jump that we didn’t know about?
This Coronavirus emergency is making me jumpy I expect but I just feel there could be dangers.
The Chinese. In fact all South East Asia. You know they drug little tepiles and send them by post to Australia. In the hope some will revive after the journey. I suppose the recients consider themselves ‘animal lovers’. Is it just to have something exotic?
We must respect a nation’s customs. But how in the hell did Rhino horn become such a prized aphrodisiac in China? There are no rhinos in China.
The trouble with it of course to get the horn it you have to kill the Rhino.
In my research for this (quick look on Wikipedia) I read of some South American tribe that have had their land confiscated by some capitalist endeavour. And they are now reduced to capturing baby monkeys from the jungle to sell on. Again isn’t there a risk to human health in this trade?

Nominated by Miles Plastic

I’d like to nominate Overton Windows, or more precisely the narrowing overton window of those who use social media.

Peter Hitchens made a good point about how social media creates a stifling political conformity where the majority silently accept that certain things must be believed and anything else shouted down, and that careers need to be destroyed because of political heresy.

One of the striking things is this default position of those on the Blairite liberal-lef that anything that happens that does not conform to the pro-EU, multiculti BBC liberal worldview is a dystopian develooment, and draws immediate comparisons to the very overrated series Black Mirror from snarky idiots on social media.
‘When will this episode of Black Mirror end?’
Fuck off and try living under the threat of nuclear annihilation, or religious persecution you myopic, pampered cunt.

The comparison with current events is a bit more understandable, but still a little dramatic, and the comparing of the election of Trump and Brexit only highlights the amnesia nd ignorance of so many ‘educated’ people, who seem to believe the world began after 1992 and the only thing that ever dared to disrupt their lives of liberal democracy, shopping for accessories, gormless John Lennon worship and surfing the web promised by Francis Fukuyama was 9/11 and the 2008 financial crisis.

Basic bastard cunts.

Nominated by Cuntamus Prime

Mental birds

I think it’s time I tried to take my mind off the bat flu for five minutes by reminiscing about mental birds I’ve hung out of in the past.

I don’t know about you, but I seem to attract lunatics? I have learned my lesson though and have a normal lady now (married the fucker), but fuck me I’ve had some mentals.

For example, it started when I was about 11. I was kicking a ball around outside and this lad came out and asked if he could play. Said he was called Mike (or something) and was new to the area. So, we end up having a kick about. We get on well and start hanging around together. Next, another mate says, ‘That’s not a boy. It’s a girl. My mum is friends with her mum. Her name’s Claire.’ I confront him/her and she confesses. Next, I’m getting love letters through the door with threats of suicide if I don’t go out with her. Right carry on it caused. She’d post drawings through the door of her stabbing herself with ‘This is why we must be married’. Fucked me right up lol.

This was at age 11 ffs. But it gets worse.

At 17, I pop my cherry with a proper fit bird at college. We get serious. Then she confesses that she has a kink. She liked to be peed on. I laugh and think she’s taking the piss (pun intended). Well, it got to the stage where I would sit down to piss, because she’d follow me into the bog for me to piss on her. I had to pretend I was having a shit. Thank god she wasn’t a poop muncher, is all I can say.

Then there was the one who came at me with knives when she was on the blob. There was the one that thought I was having an affair every 5 minutes (I wasn’t) and would check my phone, internet use and call my mum asking her if she knew I was having affairs.

There was another one that slapped me across my face for speaking to a girl who said hello to me in a shopping centre, because she had been in my class at secondary school.

The good news is that I’ve picked up the vibes of ‘Harridan’s Disease’ nowadays and I’m married to a relaxed and non possessive lady. Pain in the arse sometimes (drama queen), but I’ve done alright there.

One wonders if other ISAC members have their own stories in a similar vein too? One can only wonder how the likes of tongue to arse injectors and those who live in towers have dealt with their own nutters?

Nominated by Cuntybollocks