Lammy & Woolley

I nominate the new TV and radio double act: Lammy and Woolley.

Yes, it’s them – the black and black minstrel boys who seem to frequent every news or discussion programme albeit separately. I am certain they must work out their schedules between them. Introducing Wooly: Simon Andrew Woolley, Baron Woolley of Woodford is a political and equalities activist. He is the founder and director of Operation Black Vote and the Advisory Chair of the Government of the United Kingdom Race Disparity Unit. Reintroducing Lamby: Er, don’t think I need to. This guy has been cunted more times than Katie Price has had boob jobs.

“Hey Dave, I’m doing Today on R4 then BBC Lunchtime, C4 News tonight. Dat OK bruv?”
“Sure Simon, I’ll do Sky, LBC and ITV then. Dat way we ain’t gonna clash man. We’ll do dem whiteys up like kippers bro. ”

Lammy and Woolley share exactly the same agenda, reinforcing each other:

Black=good, brave, noble, discriminated against, victims, underprivileged.
White=bad, untrustworthy, racist, bullies, rich, selfish.

They are almost interchangeable; differing only in manner.
Lammy, shouty, angry, demanding. Woolley, more considered, disappointed (wiv whitey), determined. They are the Ant and Dec of de BLM movement. Ubiquitous, irritating, repetitive cunts. But never sheepish!

I thank you.

Nominated by: Lord Helpuss

Charles De Gaulle


Totally arsed orf by the bum tonguing the old pin headed frog (whenever he took his titfer orf everyone was astonished at how small his head was) is getting now Macron is over here to celebrate the “famous” wartime broadcast from London.

Indomitable Bravery, Fortitude in the Face Orf, Rallying Cry to Free Europe, Changed the Face Orf The War and other Pro Frog Platitudes oozing oit orf the Sluggy Orifices orf The Media. Churchill saved the Fucking Frogs skin by getting him whisked over to England and tucked up in a nice safe billet in London from where he could lead the Free French. Naturally Mon General was pissed orf because the Perfidious Anglais had kiboshed his Moment orf Glory, his Fight to the Last against the Remorseless Nazi Hordes. At least he was able to demonstrate the legendary frog Military Stratagem, Turn Your Arse To The Enemy and Run (used it meself a few times).
Cease fire orn cliches? Righto.

Point is Yours Truly was aroinde at the time and mixed in certain circles. De Gaulle was a universally hated arrogant frog cunt but for some reason, perhaps a mistaken sense orf comradeship (they were both WW1 veterans) Churchill thought that they were the best orf amis. Even to the point orf transferring military materials and food from the UK war effort to the frogs. The more Churchill helped him the more De G resented him. Came the end orf the war De G threw major froggy wobblies until he was allowed to lead the conquering frog contingent through Paris. He was orn the lips orf every true froggy “Baisse qui est ce grand con avec le gros nez” (Fuck who is that tall cunt with the big hooter?)

Another key stage in the story revolves aroinde the nukes. All very hush hush ect ect but the technology for nuclear bombs and power generation was pioneered pre-war by the boffins in Oxbridge. It was then transferred to America to stop it falling into Nazi hands. Our boffins went over to America (Los Alamos) to continue their work. Came the end orf the war and the new Ruskie threat UK and America were freely interchanging nuclear technology and building and testing bombs. De G wanted his own toys to play with and very properly the yanks explained to him that it was UK technology so they owed us and invited him to fuck orf. Unfortunately Churchill felt sorry for the whinging cunt and presented him free, gratis and for nothing all the UK nuke tech to build power plants, hence the vast frog nuclear power industry that now owns most orf the UK.

A little aperitif. To cheer up his little froggy mucker, Churchill shares with him his idea of setting up a zone within europe that links together all the former combatant countries through a trade and security alliance. Sounds familiar. De G poo poos the idea and Churchill, a little hurt, drops it as the growing threat orf commie capers intervenes. About a year later De G is actively promoting the idea as his aroinde europe. It is a goer but to their credit, only Holland and Sweden want to include poor old Blighty and the frogs are actively against us so it goes ahead without the UK. Thus began the Common Market/EEC.

It is unlikely, dear reader, that you will find this information on the internet any more and certainly not on any EU sanitized website. It exists only in old books by old cunts who were aroinde and involved at the time and in the tattered synapses orf old cunts like Yours Truly who never forget.

Nominated by Sir Limply Stoke

The UK Border Force (5)

Come in, come in, everybody welcome


A Yo Ho Ho ! of a cunting for the Border Force / Coastguard / RNLI water taxi service. With a side cunting for the French authorities, who they are in cahoots with.
You know the score, Cunters. Bunch of mainly peaceful cunts get to France, obtain a boat, by whatever means, then set out on the jolly old briny for Dearest Blighty. Cuntish, French maritime forces escort them half way across, where they are ‘ rescued ‘ by our stunningly efficient aquatic ring and ride service.
Aforementioned foreign cunts are then transported to the land of milk and honey, where they will show their gratitude by murdering, raping, thieving and scrounging.
Today is the 6th June, a memorable day, the question is.
Was it all worth it ?

Nominated by Jack The Cunter

Junk Queue Addicts

Just a mere snack…


Idiots in our land of idiocracy are queuing for miles to get their fat fingers on McDonalds junk food and queuing for hours to buy overpriced junk flat pack furniture from Ikea.

Yesterday I read that motorists in a queue for McDonalds wouldn’t get out of the way for an ambulance on an emergency call in case they lost their place in the queue. Just staggering.

Back onto Ikea.. the furniture is shit. Nobody over 30 should own it. Antique furniture is the way forward, well made, environmentally friendly, far cheaper than new and doesn’t fall apart. You can also flog it for more than you bought it for if you’ve bought wisely at auction. Ikea shit ends up on Schpock for a fraction of the cost of buying it.

Idiots in my county are also causing tail backs queuing for coffee. Have these morons never heard of a French Press?

Nominated by Cuntologist