Jesus H Christ – Connery the oirish jocko cunt was a mean grim humourless bastard to everyone, not just wimmin.

My wife was an Assistant Director (one of those endless credits that wizzes past at warp speed) on some crap film (name escapes me) in which Connery played some Victorian detective chappie – deer stalker, tweeds, Inverness cape ect ect.

Because such shit shoots late into the night/early am and was behind schedule I went along as her minder and for all the free 24/7 catering and doggy bags. That little slap head half Indian cunt was in it (wassisname?), another mean luvvie bastard as some sort of Dr Watson character.

Connery totally and deliberately to screw his fellow thesps only came out of his caravan for his shot then fucked off back into it again. You could see the cunt in there with a calculator and a spreadsheet talking to his agent about money and how they could screw more out of the production company.

Now Yours Truly is universally known for being a mild easy going sort of chap, a breaker of ice during tense situations always ready with a gag to pop to bring the world back to a state of Peace and Love. Made to order situation presented itself when Connery (another slap head cunt) eventually re-emerged to have his hair piece sprayed down and adjusted. Immediately surrounded by hangers-on.

Location a fox infested graveyard and crematorium in South London. Filming intermittently halted by the screaming of foxes during mating.

Yours Truly: Whato Seano! What’s worn beneath your kilt now you’re getting on a bit?

Admittedly not the snappiest gag but had the rest of the cast and crew in splutters.

Connery (you can do the accent): I want that cunt removed from the set. Fooking banned.

Yours Truly: Sorry Seano, they can’t do that, this is a public place and I happen to know that they have no permit from the Council to shoot tonight.

Background laughter from cast and crew.

Connery was so hated that no one would take my money that night – free Turbot Creole (a bit spicy) with some luxury jocko pudding ( Connery’s favourite) from the catering people and a decent single malt whiskey on tap courtesy from wassissname. Heard a while later that the production had been pulled due to Connery’s constant demands for cash.

Biggest horse laugh is that early next morning there were queues for the portable khazis, Yours Truly and wife included. Fucking Connery and his Turbot Creole. Connery remained glued to the khazi in his own caravan.

Fond memories. Very.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke 

You’ll probably be called a conspiracy nutter for mentioning it, but this is not something the cunts in power are hiding from us.

A rather shadowy organisation, one which seems to be controlling world leaders at the moment called ‘The World Economic forum’ released a video recently. It’s on YouTube but can’t link to it on my phone, sorry admin. World leaders, including the Honey Monster, attended a meeting there recently. A recent video released by Justin Trudeau is fucking terrifying. You can almost sense a gun being pointed at his head off camera as he gives a matter of fact speech about the reset from his office.

Anyway, the jist of it is that pure communism awaits us all. The reset means you’ll own nothing (and nothing means nothing) and stuff like plates and cups will be delivered by drone. Meat will be a once a month treat rather than a staple. To save the planet, you see. Loads of mental shit like that. Oh…and loads more ‘refugees’ for western (white) countries.

Of course, the leaders will also be going without their steaks, homes and eat bugs and tofu too (yeah fucking right).

It’s set for 2030, but rollout will start shortly as the bat flu is seen as an opportunity to ‘reset’ us , in effect, to year zero.

Absolutely terrifying stuff, but most people are more concerned about who’ll win Strictly Come Mincing or watching the knee takers ponce about empty stadiums. It’s all a conspiracy theory, they’ll laugh. Thing is, it’s really going on and they’re telling you about it, you thick cunts.

They can shove their reset up their arses. Just another thing the cunts never asked us about.

Fuck off.

Nominated by: Cuntybollocks

Or more specifically, people who either fail to understand, or refuse to understand science (aka the THING that works) and the scientific method/methodological naturalism (aka HOW the thing works), thus leading them down a rabbit hole of incredulity and stubborn arrogance.

Example one: Flat Earthers

Claim: I can’t visualise the Earth being an oblate spheroid/reference elipsoid/geoid and don’t understand Euclidean geometry or trigonometry …… therefore it isn’t true.

Conclusion: Argument from incredulity.

As Karl Popper once said: “True ignorance is not the absence of knowledge, but the refusal to acquire it.”

Example two: Homeopathy practitioners/homeopathy recipients (willing)

Claim: Muh hippy hippy shake of the water (20 times including dilution) and muh hippy hippy drippy on the sugar qubez = muh wellness!
(There is more to it but basically if you miss one dose then you just overdosed).

Conclusion: Argument from “Candygram for Mongo?!”

As Walter Kotschnig once said: “Be open-minded, but don’t be so open-minded that your brains fall out”.

Example three: Young Earth Creationists

Claim: I read a book written by primitive, goat-herding savages who had no understanding of how the universe works and I KNOW more than these so called “scientists” who use language like “we think”, “we believe”, “it’s likely” and “it might be the case” therefore big bang cosmology, physics, astrophysics, astronomy, evolutionary theory, modern biology, modern cladistic taxonomy, genetics, embryology, evo-devo, paleontology, anthropology, geology, the study of the stratigraphic column and radiometric dating are wrong because they contradict what my invisible friend said or may not have said (depending on your interpretation). Breathe.

Conclusion: God of the gaps fallacy/God is what dunnit cuz muh holy buuk!!!

As Christopher Hitchens (I believe) once said: “Positive claims require positive evidence, extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence and that which is asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence”

Example four: Vegan Pseudoscience

Claim: BUT HUMANS HAVE SMALL CANINE TEETH SO WE CAN’T BE CARNIVORES!!!!!

Conclusion: Argument from brain fog due to lack of DHA/If you have a small-to-average sized dick then you can’t be good at wrecking vagina!!! (because apparently tongues, dexterous digits and dick extender sex toys aren’t a thing).

I honestly can’t think of any quotes or witticisms from intellectuals of any stripe for this one as Vegans are a particularly modern, 21st century menace which intellectuals of the future will have to tackle (if they are still permitted).

There is no way that these people truly believe this surely?

In Summary: Since time immemorial, there seems to have been this kind of MO that has existed in which there are two types of people in the business of charlatanry – those who sell the t-shirts and those who buy the t-shirts.
The same is true of Flat Earthers, Homeopaths, Young Earth Creatards and Vegan Pseudoscientists alike. Basically cunts.

Nominated by: Two In The Stink

Another “Nobody Knows De Trouble Arve Seen”, I am only a poor little entitled Somalian cunting, bought to you thanks to the BBC the wokest of the woke:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-54954602

This arrogant little arsehole had apparently entered the University of Manchester premises and not shown his ID card, so had to be encouraged so to do.

This upset his sensibilities, so much that he hasn’t been able to sleep since, poor little lad, but clearly it didn’t bother him so much that he found time to make an official complaint about “racial profiling” and contacting the BBC, who have come out with all the “first in my family to go to university” claptrap.

University, building site, nightclub. If you are asked to show ID then you have to, and if you don’t you will be challenged. Nothing more sinister than that.

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs

Don’t suggest many noms but this one needs highlighting:

Motorbike thieves.

I fucking detest these scum of the earth usually druggy knob heads who pick on a guy that’s minding his own.
Cunts.

(Short and sweet and to the point. Cunts indeed. – NA)

Nominated by: Anne frank