Don’t get me wrong, I like decent coffee. None of the cardboard cup Starfuck’s shit for me! But FFS will somebody please shoot the pretentious little shit that Nespresso have writing their sales and marketing blurb?

Here’s an example of their latest shite that hit my mat in this morning’s post : “The new Fortissio Lungo Grand Cru is a symphony of length and intensity” Grand Cru? It’s fucking coffee FFS!

It goes on : “The coffee beans are exposed to monsoon winds after harvest to recreate the conditions of the long sea journey to Europe in the age of sailing ships.” Translation? They’re left lying around for a while before they’re processed.

Whoever this cunt is, he should be right at home with George Clooney who’s another pretentious cunt.

Check this out : An aspirational lifestyle

There. Got it off me chest. Time for a coffee…

Nominated by: Dioclese