The Northern Powerhouse

np

About 8-10yrs ago the “Blown” Labour govt gave us Northeners a vote on if we wanted a “Northern Assembly”. They were so cock sure that us “thick as pig shit folk” would go for it they had fatty two-jags swanning around up here, not so much drumming up support for it, as doing a victory lap like it was a done deal.

It was resoundingly rejected, it wasn’t even close, something like 70% of the folk who voted, voted “no, fuck off you cunts!”

Now we have the current incumbents banging on about a “Northern Powerhouse”, except this time we don’t get the right to say “no, fuck off you cunts!”

And to add insult to injury it is being championed by slimey Gideon Osborne who cares about as much about the North as I do about “peaceful” cunts drowning in the Med!

You think us Northern folk would be “mad forrit” but no, and here’s why:

1. Well it have any bearing on any law making? No.
2. Will it have any bearing on decisions made in Westminster? No.
3. Will it make it easier to collect and appropriate taxes as we see fit? No.

In that case what is it then? I’ll tell you what it is. It’s yet another layer of meaningless and pointless bureaucracy which will need new infrastructure (i.e. buildings cos the existing council ones won’t be good enough), and new personnel (cos the existing councillors won’t be good enough).

And who will pay for this pointless exercise, why us Northern twats, and hence why we didn’t want it in the first place you cunts!

Nominated by: Rebel without a Cunt!

News this week that the Northern Powerhouse Trust has been set up – and guess who’ll be running it? George fucking Osborne.

A shit idea thought up by a shit politician and now to be run by said shit politician.

George Osborne and the Northern Powerhouse : two cunts for the price of one!

Nominated by: Dioclese

Gideot and Darling

EU referendum

When I saw Gideot and Darling in those baseball caps at the train yard earlier today I couldn’t help thinking that with a bit of luck it could be another William Hague at Thorpe Park moment.

He never lived that image down did he? Bit of luck, Gideot will go the same way.

Let’s remind ourselves of that priceless moment :

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What a pair of cunts! Perhaps they are related? I think we should be told…

Nominated by: Dioclese

Twatman and Robin’

osborne fox

Bugger me, now we start to see the true cut orf the jib orf the first outright Tory majority government for twenty three years. True blue at last? All I see is a red mist rising. Democracy? Under Cameron and Osborne we have a job share dictatorship. There is no cabinet government, just a secret stitch-up by two silver spoon lower ranks cunts. Duncan Smith’s frenzied self abuse during the announcement orf the Minimum Wage by Osborne was evidently a genuine reaction because it was news to him and the rest orf the Government tossers. Shot Labour’s prize fox with that move no doubt but I have absolutely no intention orf paying the inbred deviants that toil upon my a land a ha’penny more. Would destroy at a stroke a delicate rural economy that has relied for generations upon dependency and exploitation.

Inland Revenue given the strongest powers in the Western World to go and directly plunder the bank accounts orf honest hard working punters whom they allege owe a spot orf back tax. Despite massive trails that they would scupper this, the cunts have unleashed the overpaid blood suckers orf the bastard BBC. Any poor old bugger omitting to pay the draconian licence fee for the 24 hour unmitigated shite that passes for alleged programming these days will be committing a criminal offence and clapped up in the chokey at a time when prison suicides and assaults have reached an all time high due to tight arse Osborne’s cutbacks. Must declare me interest here, have never paid this despicable tax upon the culture orf the nation and at my age this has been legal for a good few years.

Once again the shite arsed SNP have proved to be first rate cunts representing a third rate race and shot me fucking fox. Cameron had been forced by his rural constituency to introduce a dodge whereby hunting returns to the countryside (not that it ever really left you bleeding heart liberal cunts) only for the Quisling cunt to lose his bottle in double quick time and withdraw the bill amendment in the face orf the SNP threatening to vote against the proposition which applied to England only. “English Votes for English Laws!” There’s more prospect of yours truly shagging Prince Charlie’s missus that that ever happening.

For the avoidance orf doubt let me state that your humble servant does not ride to hounds. Me old arse is now grown too heavy in the saddle and what with me haemorrhoids….takes a younger man.
Make no qualms about the sport. Spot orf bloodlust and savagery has been an Englishman’s birth right for many generations. Pleasure to watch a pair orf well trained hounds in action. Once the terrier men have flushed oit old Reynard, lead hound will nip in and grab his nose while number two takes a good old grip orf his bollocks. Then they do their best to pull foxy apart while some orf the older dogs come in and rip oit his guts. Don’t ‘alf steam on a cold and frosty morning. Blood spattered all over and old Reynard still making a game orf it. Old Reynard does himself no favours screaming away, only gets the dogs blood up. In come the terrier men and despatch him with a few whacks orf their shovels while the dogs finish pulling him apart. Then I like to get in and cut oit his liver before any other bugger gets to it.

Foxes liver? Highly prized in our circles. Dried and powdered down makes a profoundly effective laxative. Many is the cunt that has wandered in to our parts and been offered an extra topping orn his pizza in the pub. Half the village will look on waiting for the outsider cunt to erupt in a monstrous Vesuvius orf shite. Who would deny us our simple country pleasures?

Also you bleeding heart liberal cunts fail to appreciate the social function orf the occasion. The terrier men would be doing life in Strangeways if it were not for the distraction and gainful employ afforded by the hunt.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

George Osborne [5]

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George Osborne, an idiot cunt that can’t even do kindergarten arithmetic. He says the UK is growing economically and well on the way to recovery.

Just do the simple numbers:

GDP growth for fiscal year 2013 – 2014 (1 April 2014 to 31 March 2014 ) is 1.9%
Government borrowing for fiscal year 2013 – 2014 £107.7 billion
UK GDP for fiscal year 2013 – 2014 is said to be £2.5 trillion
Therefore borrowing = 4.3% of GDP (107.7 / 2,500)

If you borrow £10 you are not £10 better off – you have to pay the £10 back + interest (so you are £12.50 worse off).

Simple arithmetic shows that the UK economy shrank by 2.4% in the fiscal year 2013 – 2014 (borrowing of4.3% – growth of 1.9%). Borrowed money in not wealth. It has to be paid back. But the dirty evil pedophiles, sodomites, rapists and evil tax evading thieves in parliament, will never pay a penny of the debt they create. The national debt is loaded onto the poor.

More lies from the cunt George Osborne.

Inflation for most ordinary people is now 10%+ (just look at the price of a loaf or a sausage). GDP is a fucking lie (it incorporates the multiple recycling of money thieved from the poor by the dirty evil pedophiles and sodomites in parliament), and incorporates the housing bubble – whereby the criminals of the world use UK property (especially London) for money laundering and hiding wealth (obtained by criminal means).

George Osborne is dirty evil worthless idiot cunt. All the cunt does is thieve from the poor to give to the rich.

Nominated by: MPs are pedophiles and sodomites

( In the interests of political balance, it should be pointed out that Gordon Brown and Ed Balls can’t fucking add up either! Ed. )