A nomination for ‘must watch’ TV series, particularly ‘box sets’.

I don’t care what it is , a Scandi-noir or Yankee crime epic, it’s still too long sat in front of the goggle box. Even during lockdown I could only manage a few episodes of Ashes to Ashes in one evening, but that was good fun (a very rare exception). That was shown on TV years ago so not a ‘current’ series, either.

I watched Stranger Things when it first came out and it was fairly good, but has since degenerated to woke shit. I also waited for Breaking Bad and Game of Thrones to largely complete their runs on broadcast TV before watching through them on my own time. GoT runs out of steam after series 4 but i did enjoy Breaking Bad.

In the meantime there’s been a lot of old muck recommended to me as ‘must watch TV’. I don’t have the time now. If a film is over two hours I will probably leave it.

I don’t understand the mindset of these people who feel left out if they’re not watching the latest episodic snooze-fest, or the smugness of those who cram this nonsense into their lives. It’s Telly! You’re not cultured. You’re a cunt, and a boring one at that.

Nominated by: Cuntamus Prime

Recently I was part of a team doing demolition work at the airport (bat flu has made the shops shut) before commencing work we had to register, provide photo ID, get passes and go through security scans.

Fair enough. The staff are private contractors, not customs the majority of which were difficult to understand heavily accented foreigners and with a few exceptions (low caste colonial Indians) are officious power tripping tin Jesus types.

Having a bushy beard they singled me out (good thing I wasn’t wearing a tea cosy). When registering my tools and having to remove my boots they had a conniption, a hammer, Stanley knife, pocket knife and here’s the kicker a carpenter’s hatchet, a most useful tool that also makes me feel a bit like good King Robert.

After convincing them they were necessary to the task they saw fit to gripe about the small bottle of Worcestershire in my bag, I’m not going on an aeroplane says I and I needs it to kill the taste of foreign muck I’m often forced to endure for lunch, no, were having it I even had to let them empty out my water bottle.

So after an hour we began work and after filling bins taking them out emptying them into a large skip and going through the screening process again. After the third time after emptying my pockets and removing my boots I walked through the scanner at which point some foreign bint screeched at me unintelligibly and the rotund dwärf that was trying to chat her up (he had no chance)

instead of being at his station waddled over wagging his finger at me saying “this is not a self service area”. I had to hold my tongue as these cunts have no sense of humour and could only think of Papa Lazorou saying “this is a saga now”.

For my impertinence I was made to go through the metal detector again, the body scanner again, get felt up rather roughly again (buy me a drink first), and get wiped over for traces of narcotics and explosives again.

You’ve rumbled me thought I, 275 years of plotting the third Jacobite rebellion from our secret base in Perth (West Oz) ruined. Five hours of work and three of arsing about for four days.

What a fucking tea ceremony, never again.

Nominated by: Shackledragger cunt

(Little Bints or summat. Take your pick who’s offending who – Day Admin)

My apologies for trespassing once again upon your patience, but if like me you have never heard of ‘blackfishing’ other than as in the common name of <i>Dallia pectoralis</i>, then it is probably time you did.

Apparently, blackfishing is the practice of darkening your skin in order the better to be accepted by de bruvvas innit. Trout lipped and dyslexic nonentity Jesy (sic) Nelson has been vilified for getting a fake tan and thus appropriating BAME culcha:

News Link

Mystic Komodo predicts that it will not be long before pale persons attempting to buy dark fake tans or booking more than 5 minutes on the sunbed will be arrested. And that the sole criterion for tanned persons entering the country will be that they are not sunstruck Caucasians.

MInd you, I’d do Jesy, tanned or not.

Nominated by: Komodo

(Had to do a double-take with the title, as I thought it read as “Blackfisting!” – Day Admin)
This is why I’m never alone in the same room as Day Admin – Night Admin.

Cycle lanes are sodding everywhere. They’re spreading like wildfire and are a complete cunt, especially those that have a barricade between the lane and the rest of the road.

I understand that they’re intended to encourage ‘green transport’ (not that our local lycra loonies need encouraging) but they seem to me to be a waste of time and money. Around our way they increase congestion whilst at the same appear largely unused, given that local cyclists either travel on the outside of the lane anyway, or race along on their traditional track known as ‘the pavement’. In short, they seem to be good for fuck all other than providing a repository for litter and a superb space for dog owners to let their mutts shit in.

By way of illustration, let me refer cunters to the idiocy of Nottingham County Council, which is being derided for wasting taxpayers’ money on the provision of what is probably the most pathetically useless cycle lane of all time.

News Link

I dunno about ‘Cunt of the Year’, but this has got to be worthy of a special ‘Cunt of the Week’ award as far as these jobsworths are concerned.

Now don’t get me started again on speed bumps…

Nominated by: Ron Knee

I’m trying to work out who is in the wrong. All I know is that the only person vaguely in the right is Kwasi Kwerteng. ‘Kwarteng had suggested that struggling companies would not get much more support from the Treasury.’ Fair enough. And this from him directly, “I’ve not asked for billions. We’ve got existing schemes. I’m working very closely with Rishi Sunak, the chancellor, to get us through this situation,” he said. “I’ve been very clear we’re not going to bail out failing energy suppliers.”

Yet the Groaniad are saying this, ‘In a highly unusual slapdown, which occurred during a round of broadcast interviews with Kwarteng, sources close to the chancellor cautioned the business secretary against making any promises to companies and said there had been no approach to the Treasury. With an apparent quote,’“Kwasi was mistaken. The facts are that, to date, the Treasury and the chancellor have not been involved in any talks on this topic,” one source said.

Do I believe Kwarteng, a Groaniad off the record source or a civil servant who is UNwilling to be quoted without being named.

Bizarrely, I’m with Kwarteng. He is a dark key, after all.

CUNTS!

Link to news story.

Nominated by: Dark key cunt