The House of Lords New £10 million Front Door


A cunting please for the House of Unelected Cunts new front door.

What was wrong with the old front door? I have no idea. Possibly it was too reminiscent of a time when this country was not a basket case.

Anyway, this new fucking front door was originally estimated to cost 6.1 million pounds…

“What the fuck” I hear you cry, “are you mad?” Most likely, but that’s not important right now.

What is important is that someone in a position of responsibility actually looked at that 6.1 million pound figure and signed off on it!

But that’s not all – not by a long chalk. The final cost came in at £9.6 million!

Remember, we’re not talking about a Surrey mansion here, or a town house in Mayfair or Knightsbridge. No, we’re talking about a fucking door.

And to add insult to injury, the thing is dysfunctional! Security officers have to be permanently stationed at the new door to press a button to let cunts in, adding a further £2500 a week to the costs. 🙄

Lord McFall of Alcluith (no, me neither) who chairs the House of Unelected Cunts Commission that oversees the running of the project, issued this word-salad by way of an explanation:

“The commission identified that it was unclear how many issues were due to manufacturing and installation failures and how many were due to issues with the initial identification of requirements and subsequent need for alterations. Additional information will be needed to understand the failures, including information on costs – both how the initial project figure of £6.1m was arrived at and the increase to the current total of £9.6m, and any unanticipated additional costs such as increased staffing to manage and operate the entrance. It will be important to assess the quality of the decision-making in establishing the project and the ways in which the evidence provided for the specifications of the new entrance were tested to ensure they took account of user requirements. The problems that have arisen around delivery of the new entrance pose larger questions about effective programme delivery, including capability within parliamentary departments.”

Smooth talking mealy mouthed fucker.

Sly News.

Nominated by : Shit-cake Baker

Shakawan Siddiqi


Gentlemen (and ladies – NA), it would seem that a fellow cunter has been murdered

“A man has been sentenced to life imprisonment after being found guilty of murdering a 25-year-old man in Bristol last summer.

Shakawan Siddiqi was sentenced at Bristol Crown Court on Friday 11th July for the killing of Kunta Ceesay.

The 32-year-old stabbed Mr Ceesay during a street altercation on Stapleton Road on 20 September 2024.

Mr Ceesay died from his injuries later that day.

Siddiqi was convicted of murder in April 2025 following a two-and-a-half-week trial and was remanded in custody pending sentencing.

The court heard that it remains unclear whether Mr Ceesay knew Siddiqi, though there may have been a previous dispute involving a small sum of money.

Siddiqi, from St Paul’s, received a life sentence and must serve a minimum term of 21 years and 74 days.

The sentence also covers unrelated convictions for a wounding offence and possession of a bladed article from February last year.”

ITV News.

When choosing to migrate I would suggest consulting a dictionary from your future hosts country, he must have had a terrible time here before he passed.

Nominated by : Lord benny

Nigerian Baby Farms

are cunts.

Although in many respects this entire caper and its fallout are quite hilarious it’s also yet another illustration of the Big Lie that is so often shat out by our “leaders”, that “Multiculturalism is Our Strength”..

Well on the evidence of this incredible pantomime it fucking well isn’t,shock horror..

A story of vast sums of public money being spent to root out the very odd practices of these Nigerian buggers who happily reside in Modern Britain but are quite happy to pop back to the jungle to fake the birth of a child.

Unfortunately my powers of description don’t adequately cover the many layers of this giant witch doctors shît sandwich.

The cost?
The deception?
The savages mindset?
The legal aid system?
The Home Office?
The legal system?

Fuck me what a country we have become.

bbcnews

Nominated by Unkle Terry.

A little more on this cunting from W C Boggs below.

Susan is a Nigerian woman, a true ‘person of colour’ who is addicted to lies as so many of them are when they are law-breaking which takes up 95% of their time. To spare her blushes, the BBC have given her that very English name (the BBC twisting facts – surely not), but she is more likely to be called “Precious” or “Blessing” or Mrs Wambahwallah, arrived in this country, pretending to be pregnant. Of course – she wasn’t – just another lie, but it was to deposit a baby, which the soft as shit British government is going to allow for adoption in the UK. We can feel sorry for her now as she is a babe in arms but in fifteen or twenty years time she will be breeding away and no doubt expecting us to pay for her brood which she won’t be able to afford to keep herself.

It is another sick story, but perhaps the biggest cunt here is the BBC who chose to give her such a white name as an alias.

Leggings [2]


As a bloke with an eye for a nice looking, well heeled lady and who is a people watcher, I can’t help but notice the ubiquitous presence of this female garment

Gone it seems, are the days when a woman (the type with tits and fanny Sir Keir if you’re reading this) would don some decent clobber if she was going anywhere.

A nice skirt and a pair of tights (or stockings phwoaar) used to be the norm when I was a horny youngster. Or a pair of tight Levi’s or something similar.

Anyways, fucking leggings are now the garment of choice for 98 percent of the British female population.

Don’t get me wrong because when leggings are worn by the 10 percent of the female population who can actually get away with wearing them, can look incredible. I mean, who doesn’t like looking at a nice voluptuous firm arse or a pair of inner thighs that could strangle you?

Girls that work out and take care of themselves, fair enough, wear the leggings with pride.

Unfortunately, most of the females I see in these things are the type of women who have never been near a gym and have a silhouette resembling a tin of paint which has been carelessly poured all over the pavement. You know the type. Thin legs, no arse, torso like Humpty fucking Dumpty.

There was a lass in a pair the other morning and they were flesh coloured and you could count the dimples on her arse through the stretched fabric.

What’s more is that they’re often accompanied by some bloke who obviously doesn’t give a fuck or hasn’t the heart or bottle to tell her to put something else on.

Come on fellas. Have a word eh.

Link not particularly related but highly amusing.

YouTube.

Nominated by : Herman Jelmet

Seconded by Lord benny:

I will definitely second that.

I have had the misfortune to study them in detail. A very fat lass in over stretched leggings dropped something in a shop. Ignoring any manual handling training she straddled her legs and bent from the waist and picked the object. At that moment I was able to view the reinforced gusset equally over stretched and white against the shiny black material giving the affect of a maggot infested minge and making the camel foot at the front much more acceptable.

To be honest my revulsion was equal to the time someone posted about split cocks on here.

Dead Pool [367]

 

Congratulations to Georie Twatt who has won Dead Pool 366 by picking renowed musical parody singer and songwriter Tom Lehrer who died yestsrday aged 97.Lehrer specialised in parody songs with political connotations in the 1950s and 1960s whose style was seen as in influence to Weird Al Yankovic. Lehrer was also a Mathematician who was involved in musical theatre.

 

On to Dead Pool 367

 

The rules:

1)Pick 5 famous cunts you think will conk out next.It is first come firat serve and no duplicates allowed.You can always be a cunt and steal someone elses noms from the previous pool.

2)Anyone who nominates the worlds oldest man or woman is a cunt who we will ignore.

3)It must be a famous cunt we have heard of.

4)No swapping picks mid pool unless someone has already taken them .

5)Hits are awarded based on chronology in death reporting not necessarily in chronological order of death.