Flood Protection/Defence Agency needs the severest imaginable cunting, and an air enema of industrial strength.

Have just found out that we now have a major biscuit shortage, because United Biscuits in Carlisle was more or less wiped out. No more Bourbons for about three months, guess I’ll have to drink Maker’s Mark or JD instead… The FDA’s so fuckin’ wet you could shoot ducks off it.

Useless clap-infested cunts.

Nominated by: HBelinda Hubbard

The Good Lord ordains that what marketh man is his shite. Animal shite – unless it’s bear or pig – is generally cope able with. The human kind, orf which yours truly has vast experience orf is orf a different order orf foulness. Indian shite and particularly that that fouls the streets orf Calcutta is beyond the pale. In the Western Desert (8th Army, Rommel, that show) a good soldier learned to identify his enemy by his waste – Iti, Kraut, Wog, Yank (lots orf Yank but never near any danger) all distinctive. Hippy shite stands oit from from me days in the 60s in the Producer dodge organising festivals, particularly when mixed, as it so orften was, with mud and psychotic substances. In short I know me shite.

Orf a different order orf magnitude is dosser shite as increasingly evidenced in London, Manchester and many a South Coast toine. A veritable tsunami orf the stuff is deluging our once great nation. Glossy, brown and bloated, the sticky mucous coated crap is stuffed full orf parasites and drug resistant viruses. Indeed consider where it has been and what has produced it. Now try and get it orf your shoes without getting it smeared all over your hands and clothes.

The feral cunts squeezing their arses oit over shopping centres, public streets and people’s front gardens think they have the right to borrow a rat arsed dog with sad soulful eyes (I always offer to put the fucker doine) or hire a fake sand sculpture and beg for my money. Must declare me interest here. Do a spot orf lay preaching at me local church and have regular occasion to shovel dosser shite (see photos) oit orf our front garden. Call the Council? Fuck orf. No other cunt will touch it.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Richard Keys is a cunt…

Old hairy hands, and ex-Sky Sports presenter Keys is so full of shit… Here are his views on that dour cunt, Andy Murray: ‘Fantastic achievement by Andy Murray – whatever happens in the final… This guy has to be our greatest ever sportsman….’

Greatest ever British sportsman? Ever heard of Roger Bannister, Bobby Moore, Ian Botham, Bobby Charlton, Fred Perry, George Best, Lester Piggott, Jacky Stewart. Tom Finney etc?

Fuck off, Keys, you gobshite arselicking cunt…..

Nominated by: Norman

Exactly where the fuck were you dragged up?

Just sat here looking out the window at a fucking bunch of off white bastards parked outside the kitchen window with their five children. They just fucked off and now there is a half dozen piles of assorted shit strewn in the road – chocolate & ice cream wrappers, bits of paper, general shite.

What the fuck is with these people? My daughter taught my grandchildren to pick up their litter. They are taught to give it to me rather than throw it in the street. Why do these cunts come to our country because it’s better than the third world shit hole they came from and then try and convert our country into the dump they tried so hard to get away from?

And this shit will never be swept up because the cunt Osbourne keeps cutting services and you can’t sweep up past the illegally parked cars they don’t bother to nick!!!

If a four year can understand these standards, why the fuck can’t these cunts???

And the EU wants us to let more of these fuckers in. FFS!

Vote to leave!!!!!

Nominated by: Mrs D

Cunts who queue jump at petrol stations – specifically, cunts who just turn off the main road into the forecourt, but don’t join a queue straight away, they wait for a while before deciding which pump they think is going to move the fastest.

This then causes the traffic to back up on the main road, because the person behind them who also wants petrol cant turn onto the forecourt because they are in the way.

Whichever queue I join always will be the slowest, invariably I’m behind someone who
(1) Cant operate the pump
(2) Find the fuel cap
(3) Does the weekly shop
(4) Buys lottery tickets

Cunts

Nominated by: AndyC