Category Archives: cunt

The Human Race

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I want to nominate the human race for a cunting, or ninety five per cent of them anyway, there are a few nice genuine people in existence but they’re a tiny minority.

Humans are the most revolting worthless species ever to develop on this planet. Animals are far superior and know how to co-exist, they’re content as long as they’ve got a full stomach and they have a lot more sense.

Take something like a wildebeest, it gets born on the African plains and it has about an hour to get up and follow its mother otherwise it’s dead meat. Compare that with teenagers who run straight out of the school gates into the traffic. Fifteen years on the planet and they haven’t got the brains of a gnat. Treat an animal right and it will love you, treat a person right and they’ll likely kick you up the backside. The law of nature used to be the survival of the fittest. That doesn’t apply to humans any more. The ones with intelligence have careers and the ones who don’t stay on council estates, living on benefits that others provide and breeding more fucking idiots who grow up and do the same.

The human race should be exterminated like parasites before they develop space travel and get the chance to infect other planets. They’re a motley collection of lying, cheating, thoughtless, arrogant, thieving, two-faced, selfish, offensive, bloody fucking arseholes.

Ah. I feel better now.

Nominated by Allan.

Human beings are mostly as thick as pig shit. They harbour beliefs in supernatural beings, churn kids out by the billions without a thought how they are going to be supported and find things to fight about that even a three year old wouldn’t bother about. I’d be surprised if this pathetic species is still here in 500 years. Probably wouldn’t be able to reproduce anyway after the pissy fairy wusses have had every fuckers cocks n minges removed so you have to go to a shit n piss removal centre. Gender free of course. Cunts.

Nominated by Kendo Nag

Meaningless surveys

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Nomination: Meaningless surveys

What the fuck. Some bunch of cunts just pulled a couple of dozen people off the street and asked them “Where is the best place to live in Britain?”

Answer ? Skipton

Skipton for fucks sake? Skipton? Have you ever been to fucking Skipton? Well, I have and it definitely ain’t the best place to live in Britain. No way.

And where is the friendliest place in Britain? Keswick – probably because no cunt lives there apart from b&b owners and shopkeepers selling walking gear and tacky tourist trash.

And apparently the best place to live in London is Peckham. Even their Labour MP – one Harriet Harman – lives in Herne Hill which last time I looked wasn’t in Peckham.

What is the fucking point of these surveys other than to fill newspapers with meaningless bollocks?

Nominated by Dioclese.

Celebrity culture and its fans.

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I wish to nominate celebrities and the plankton who pay attention to them for a cunting on this esteemed website.

Just this weekend I have seen headlines about:

Cheryl Cole (or whatever the fuck her surname is this week) and her fabulous post-baby body;
Beyoncé on a date night;
One of the Kardashians is up the stick to her boyfriend of five minutes.

I mean, who gives a fuck?

Why the fucking fuck is media attention given to the inconsequential doings of ‘celebrities’? Seriously, who gives a damn about what jug-eared ex-goal hanger Gary Lineker think about anything outside football? Or what crap actors like Bendycock Cuntypants or the oaken Ben Affleck think about politics? Why would anyone with an IQ in double digits think a drug-addled fuckwit like Lily the Musical Mong is the go-to person about refugees?

The multi-talentless Victoria Beckham and her equally talentless brood are perhaps the best example how one can become rich and famous without any discernible talent, looks or character. Remember Beckham was the crap one in the Spice Girls ffs.

Nominated by Cunt’s Mate Cunt.

Insurance Companies

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A cunting for the supine insurance companies who have acquiesced in scams because it’s easier to pay up and bung the costs on all of their customers premiums than to fight them.

What they should do is:

Prosecute anyone they can prove has filed a false claim. Ensure the case is reported in the national press.

Report any solicitor involved in soliciting such claims to the law society, with a recommendation that they be struck off

Stop paying compensation in cash. If the claim is for whiplash, pay in non-transferrable and time-limited vouchers for physiotherapy.

Have nothing to do with the parasitical “claims management industry”

All pretty simple. Why doesn’t this happen?

I wonder what is the cost to the economy of all of this villainy, including claims for mis-selling of financial products?

If you have an accident you should have been more careful. Take some fucking responsibility.

Compensation should be to rectify damage, not to provide a nice family holiday

Fraud is not a victimless crime

If you’ve ever bought PPI you are a credulous cunt and deserve to have been fleeced.

Nominated by Harry Axwound.

The above was about how they should handle compensation claims. What about premiums in general? Claim handling? Wriggling out of paying? Advertising? Insurance horror stories – home, car, health, life?

 

The Apprentice (2)

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It’s BBC Apprentice 2017. How a year has flown by since the business equivalent of Britain’s got NO talent reappears on our screens. The best young business entrepreneurs Britain has to offer for a 13th year running. I hear the Chinese, Japanese, Indians, Germans, Americans….OK, the whole fucking world, shitting their pants, as UK plc unleashes these titans of business acumen against them.

Fronted by east end wide boy Sir Alan – Lord Sugar, a man with a bad dose of titulitis. I do so wish one of the apprentices has the balls to call him “Al” or “mate” and watch him go apoplectic or just to call him ‘Sir Alan’ instead of ‘Lord Sugar’.

The king of the one liner, has some ‘great’ new material such as  “Forget Brexit…Here, I’m the one who decides who remains and who leaves.”  Such quality, perhaps he picked that out of Sir Brucie’s suit pocket from his grave.

This year’s line up of 18 apprentices are a veritable smorgasbord of British society. A posh ‘Tory Boy’ as he’s known, who worked for ‘Call me Dave’. A double barrelled named woman, a few other whiteys, probably Northern and Southern wideboys, a generous spattering of superwimmin, an Alan Carr/Graham Norton look-a-like, a black woman, two peacefuls, and a Chinese dude.

The BBC having duly ticked all the diversity boxes stuffed a cherry on top with one of the peacefuls being a hijab clad woman who describes herself as an ‘ independent woman’.  Go there BBC, liberty, equality and freedom for the peaceful  sisterhood. Next year can we expect a black sheet and matching pillowcase peaceful sister demonstrating her freedom of expression and independence?

Any bets on who will win?

I will go for the Chinese bloke if it’s purely based on who is hardest working and best in business, although if he hasn’t already made his first billion on his own, then he may just be a token entry. Otherwise, the hijab wearing peaceful looks promising…..as I seem to vaguely remember one of those winning a competition on the BBC before…..although I maybe wrong…. because they never gave her much publicity afterwards.

Nominated by Mike Oxard.