As it’s my first cunting….I’d rather not cunt something so serious but my piss is boiling so hard I might achieve nuclear fusion. You may have read a story about a 3 year old being hit with acid. Yes you read that right, not by accident, actually purposely targeted a fucking three year old. So this cunting is reserved for those responsible. Now there are plenty of fuckwits who get cunted on here with the best of reasons, but none quite plumb these kind of depths, even with their unique brands of fuckwittery. I literally despair at the human race at times, the utter degenerate fucking scumbags that we sometimes are, almost makes me hope for a big fuckoff asteroid to come along and put us out of our fucking misery. Scumfucks of a special kind to hurt a child like that…..I feel sick

Nominated by The Ghost of Glauber Berti

A swift cunting for the ignorant fuckwits who smoke out entire towns and neighbourhoods with their bonfires.

I’m not talking about burning a few branches; I’m on about the useless chimps that stack pile after pile of fucking trees on top of one another to create a Kilimanjaro-like mound of vegetation. Even worse are the cunts who think it’s a good idea to start burning plastics and other materials that cause the horrid black toxic smoke that burns your lungs to buggery.

All hell breaks loose when the cunts pour petrol all over it. Before you can even shift your arse to close a window, the entire gaff is blanketed in a thick cloud of burning debris. The worst scenario is when you are woken up from your slumber to the sensation of a Billy Bunter type cunt sitting on your chest as you gasp for air.

Stop with the gargantuan, petrol-fuelled, plastic-riddled bonfires you silly cunts.

Nominated by Jayniño

BzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzz (while you’re in the garden) zzzzZZZZ

FUCK OFF! (swipe)

Now they fly next to your ear ZZZzzzzzzzzzzzZZZ FUCK OFF!! Ow!

…

Whip! Get lost or it’s raid time BZZZZzzzzzzZZZZZZZ whip! Hah got ya, fucking leave my dinner alone, tell your friends

…

(High pitched) zszszszszszszszsszszsz BASTARD (swipe), fuck off zszszszszszszszszszszszs (smash) great the fucking lamp zszszszszszszszszszsz TSSSSSSSCCCHHH taste some raid you bastard. Now I am going back to bed.

Nominated by Cunting Rank Wags

Cash Only businesses are cunts, aren’t they?

Could anybody elucidate me on this matter: A commercial business opens, perhaps a hairdresser or a restaurant/café. They then display a sign saying “Cash Only.” This means they can bypass any paper trail of receipts and consequently pay fuck all in tax.

Sometimes the sign is on the front window! How audacious can they be? It’s as if they’re bragging about avoiding the taxman!

Ubiquitous culprits of this include Romanian hairdressers, tiny shops with aggressive-looking Kurdish “barbers”, and any “restaurant” selling Asian food.

Why aren’t these places being raided? I understand the Police are busy arresting Tommy Robinson or people who’ve got hurt feelings on the internet but meanwhile these fuckers are creaming it in. They want all the benefits from society without contributing anything. Have HMRC indefinitely closed down?

Dirty, money-grubbing, tax-dodging, gold-toothed rats.

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

“Cash only” displayed in the window dahn my manor generally indicates the willingness orf the proprietor to deal in a civil manner with those little exigencies in life that require to be sorted orn a mahn to mahn basis. IE cashola available for protection to the local firm, local plod and local enterprise for such as a spot orf diesel, some gas or electric or a no strings attached installation orf SKY or NETFLIX ect ect.

Supported by Sir Limply Stoke

A cunting for yet another bit of green bullshit.
Electric cars and the government wanting a charge point in every new-build.
Leaving aside the dubious ‘green’ credentials of electric cars and the grid generating problems which will arise, let’s look at a practical aspect of charging.

In any town the streets are choked both sides with parked cars, day and night. So there will be a cable coming out of each house across the pavement? Or will each house have a charging pole at the kerbside? I don’t think this has been thought through. Most houses are not new builds. Most houses don’t have drives or off-road parking.
Another example off bollocks masquerading as environmentally sound.
The cunts.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble