Bored of living, but can’t bring yourself to admit it?

Then why not watch television! Without any physical effort on your part you can switch off your brain and allow television to occupy your entire life. Not only can you exclude the rest of the world including your family, you can also allow deviant ideas about the entire world to be fed directly into the centre of your mind.

Thanks to television you can kiss goodbye to delusions of grandeur and get used to a constant downward spiral when it comes to acting, drama, sport and music. Thanks to the wonder of television you can now sell your soul and pay good money to corrupt organisations who harbour criminals of all descriptions.

And there’s more!

Thanks to television you will lose all self-respect and utterly fail to do anything about anything at all that bothers you. You will even fail to stop watching. You can delight in the freedom from hobbies and other cumbersome, past times. Why do something difficult, rewarding, creative or passionate when you just prop open your eyelids and stare?

Wait! It gets better!

For those who still crave some kind of interaction with others – now you can endlessly talk about television! Amazing!

And finally –

The deluxe package for the dedicated viewer – television can exceed your wildest dreams by ensuring both a breathtaking decline in fitness and a mind blowing increase in weight. Some of our prestige customers have even had the side of their houses removed in order to attend hospital! Many of our best customers have died watching television!

Do you want to forget how to spell and perform basic arithmetic?
Do you want to forget about real people and adore cunts with topknots and vacuous slags instead?
Would you like to forget all the finer details about everything, and enter into a world of fuzzy misdirection?

Don’t get left behind! Watch television now, you stupid cunt!

Nominated by Cuntflap

I’m nominating the teachers who send their pupils on climate strikes.

It’s bad enough that Extinction Rebellion harp on about climate change being an imminent threat like some crazed conspiracist, but to worry children with all this complicated stuff? Politics should be kept out of the classroom, because schools are there for young minds to learn new skills.

So, to those teachers who pull this crap… You’re all cunts.

Nominated by Pissed off Brit

A ‘Goodness Gracious Me’ cunting please for this dusky soy boy who confronted Boris at an East London hospital today, to complain about the NHS – it’s not acceptable to him apparently, the waiting, the lack of doctors and nurses.

It turns out that this grandstanding, SJW wanker is an active member of the Labour Party, and you can only assume that when the election comes and there are more news cameras around ever more desperate lefties will be giving such barnstorming performances.

Of course Wireless 4 are relishing the story and are running it as top item on PM – is it “damaging to Boris Johnson?” ever so innocent Evan Davies, spinster of this parish, announced with faux concern.

I would just say to the gobby Mr. Salem that if less of his compatriots stopped coming to the UK for the generous benefits , including the NHS, and if he himself was to shut the fuck up, the NHS might be slightly better – especially with money invested that will not go to the 4th Reich.

I don’t think Salem’s efforts will make Steptoe any more palatable to normal people.

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

Words fucking fail me that we are pursuing an ex-soldier of pensionable age for killings from nearly 50 years ago. In the heat of the moment and probably in a panic, in the face of a baying mob and with IRA snipers secreted about.

Contrast this with the amnesties of IRA scum and the fact that we have been paying and pensioning at least two cold blooded, cynical killers in the Stormont assembly, one of whom is now happily deceased. Mark that these two cunts didn’t kill in a panic, but in cold, calculating commands.

What is the point of this fucking charade? To appease the Paddies? To show how virtuous we are?

A fucking disgrace, another stain on this country and a travesty of fairness and justice.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

Ian Blackford is a smug , egotistical , ignorant cunt!

He stands up in the house of commons, full of his own importance, spouting all kinds of crap that frankly, no one’s even interested in. He latches onto ANYTHING that goes against the big bad Tories and like a little fat ball of shite, crows about it with that self satisfied look…cunt.

Worse still , if anything goes wrong in Scotland, he and the evil Krankie point the finger and blame anything or anyone that’s not them or they’re party. The best of it is that they can’t run an economy and they’re completely ignoring the result of not one referendum, but TWO!

His party in my book are a complete cluster fuck and he’s a total cunt .

Nominated by Evilscotsman