Television

Bored of living, but can’t bring yourself to admit it?

Then why not watch television! Without any physical effort on your part you can switch off your brain and allow television to occupy your entire life. Not only can you exclude the rest of the world including your family, you can also allow deviant ideas about the entire world to be fed directly into the centre of your mind.

Thanks to television you can kiss goodbye to delusions of grandeur and get used to a constant downward spiral when it comes to acting, drama, sport and music. Thanks to the wonder of television you can now sell your soul and pay good money to corrupt organisations who harbour criminals of all descriptions.

And there’s more!

Thanks to television you will lose all self-respect and utterly fail to do anything about anything at all that bothers you. You will even fail to stop watching. You can delight in the freedom from hobbies and other cumbersome, past times. Why do something difficult, rewarding, creative or passionate when you just prop open your eyelids and stare?

Wait! It gets better!

For those who still crave some kind of interaction with others – now you can endlessly talk about television! Amazing!

And finally –

The deluxe package for the dedicated viewer – television can exceed your wildest dreams by ensuring both a breathtaking decline in fitness and a mind blowing increase in weight. Some of our prestige customers have even had the side of their houses removed in order to attend hospital! Many of our best customers have died watching television!

Do you want to forget how to spell and perform basic arithmetic?
Do you want to forget about real people and adore cunts with topknots and vacuous slags instead?
Would you like to forget all the finer details about everything, and enter into a world of fuzzy misdirection?

Don’t get left behind! Watch television now, you stupid cunt!

Nominated by Cuntflap

111 thoughts on “Television

  1. Currently watching ‘the Day After’, The nuclear war film from 1983. It was on the talking pictures channel last night, and I haven’t seen it since it was on all those years ago. Actually, it’s not that bad, I thought it was going to be awful.

    • It’s like ‘Little House On The Prairie’, after ‘Threads’! Try Peter Watkins – ‘The War Game’. Possibly on i-Player.

      • I remember both, and threads was more scary, because it was the U.K. not the US, and played on my already well developed fear of nuclear war. However, for me it’s the animated ‘when the wind blows’ that tops them all.

  2. Surprisingly I was impressed with the BBC’s drama “The left behind”. There was some virtue signalling, but it largely hilighted the plight of the white working class in a sympathetic light. Also “Broke” was good, again acknowledging how everyone was being affected by wage freezes, lack of housing, greedy politicians and unscrupulous corporations.

  3. In regards to TV, my personal favourites are as follows:

    Batman the animated series – daring cartoon that pushed the boundaries of kids cartoons to give the best interpretation, if not the definitive representation, of Batman ever. Created by Bruce Timm, he also created Justice League Unlimited.

    M R James a ghost story for Christmas, 70s adaptations and 90s Christopher Lee readings –

    These got me into M R James and I recommend them highly. Terrifying and we’ll produced.

    The Wire – Impressive take on crime drama without being propaganda. Refreshing in its realism, yet has turns of absurdity that are wonderful.

    Jimmy McGovern’s The Street –
    A well crafted series of stories that link with one another, similar to Clocking Off

  4. Excellent and long overdue CUNTING from the Flapster…..or is it the Cuntster? Fucking top knot morons masquerading as gifted on Syco tv,Peroxide,morbidly obese young ladies with painted uni-brows and their Beef Curtains hanging out of Jeggins screeching on stage like some parody of entertainment. They’ve always known they were destined for more.Now Fuck Off and get out of my site.

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