Dateline 5th October: Edinburgh

“Good morning. This is IsAC’s political correspondent Ron Knee speaking to you. I’m standing in front of the Scottish parliament, where a motley crew of demonstrators is preparing to set off on a march through the city. With me is Mr Angus McCoathupp, one of the organisers. Tell me, Mr McCoathupp; what exactly is going on here?”.
‘Aye. Wuz marchin’ cos th’ people aw Scortlund wunt hendependence. Th’ people aw Scortlund wunt ah referendum ken’.
“Erm, actually the name’s Ron. But tell me, wasn’t there a referendum on this matter quite recently? Didn’t ‘the people of Scotland’ as you call them, vote to stay in the Union? Wasn’t the referendum termed ‘a once in a lifetime event’ by the SNP?”.
‘See youse Jimmy, that wus then, this is noo, ken’.
“Ron. But Mr McCoathupp, all the polls suggest that the majority of Scots don’t want another referendum, and that if there was one, you’d lose again. Then what would happen?”.
‘Aye. Wull. Then we’d stamp wa little feet an’ shout an’ scweam and scweam, cos aw them Unionists is traitorous Tory scum, an’ they’re auld, an’ theck as mince, and didna ken wut they wus votin’ aboot… o’ flewer o’ Scortlund…’.
“Yes, well, thank you Mr McCoathupp (and might I suggest that you seek medical advice about that swivelling eye?). This is Ron Knee, for IsAC, returning you to the studio”.

Nominated by Ron Knee

A nomination for the cunt on the Aer Lingus flight from London City Airport, who got up from his seat just before take off, to lecture everyone about climate change and then refused to sit down again.

It didn’t occur to the cunt that the plane sat there burning fuel and polluting the air for several minutes before returning to the terminal where the cunt was removed by police, and then had to take on more fuel to replace what had been wasted whilst he was spouting all his bullshit.

Should have just strapped him to the underside of the wing, his constant stream of hot air could have jet thrusted the plane to Dublin. If Aer Lingus have any sense, they’ll bill the cunt for the additional fuel cost and any expenses incurred for missing their take off slot.

Nominated by Mystic Maven

Robyn Malcolm….who? Some New Zealand actress who thinks that the role of Gandalf in a new television adaptation of ‘Lord of the Rings’, should be played by a woman.

She bleats, “Those old legends, those old mystical stories, they’re so based within a patriarchal landscape”, Malcolm explained to New Zealand’s Stuff. “Why not look at the magic of a matrilineal world where the magical powerhouses are women?”

Why not? Well probably because it is just a piece of fiction written about eighty years ago, you daft cunt. Now I’m not some LOTR fanatic or ‘purist’. I read the book over forty years ago when I was a teen, but just fuck off with your tiresome gender-war bollocks, you cretinous Kiwi tosser.

Knowing the soppy New Zealanders, they’ll probably go along with it too, especially if their dopey Prime Minister Arden has anything to do with it.

Nominated by Mystic Maven

Emergency cunting for Justin Webb.

A Presenter on Radio Four, surely BBC’s most obvious biased output, Webb was interviewing the sickly looking, inbred manchild, and perennial loser, Rory Stewart, on his recent announcement that he intends to run as an independent candidate for London mayor. Webb challenged him on his decision, because his fellow candidates are both ethnic minority types, and a white Etonian ‘isn’t very 2020’.
His competition is the current mayor, proven failure and ‘Wall of Cunts’ star Khan, and conservative Shaun Bailey, who I’ve never heard of. Why does Webb have to use the race card?

There are plenty of other topics he could have used to batter him with, like him being a flip flopping loser for starters, but he had to bring ethnicity into it. Stewart just grovelled, instead of calling him a cunt, as you would expect from the feeble fucker. Fuck Webb, who must be getting extra tuition on being a self-loathing white cunt from recent nominee Jon Snow, and fuck Radio Four, which is basically a Guardian podcast.

Nominated by Gutstick Japseye

I nominate Wimmin Champagne Socialist Remoaners.

I live in a well to do village and I’m proud I worked my nads off to be able to move here. When I go out, I don’t want some fucking Barbie saying most Brexiteers are thick and (ergo) don’t know what they’re talking about. If challenged, they reply that it’s what “Experts” say, so it must be right (separate cunting for experts.)

These are the same Wimmin (for it is usually they) that get a degree, marry and then give up work to sprog, having wasted taxpayers money on a wasted education. Ironically, I reckon Johnny Brexiteer is more often than not the taxpayer who’s footed the bill. Because Nanny looks after the kids, they spend the whole day with like minded Twats regurgitating Grauniad articles and the evenings watching the Biased Broadcasting Cunts in a Prosecco inspired alcoholic haze, believing all the Libtard bollocks.

I am now waiting for the EU to reject Boris’s master plan and for us to leave on 31 October so they all go into meltdown, where I shall have a ring side seat and toast them with a glass of World Beating English Bubbles.

Nominated by Dinger