Elisabeth Moss

Elisabeth Moss is a cunt, isn’t she?

Her acting style is the same in everything: Act a bit unhinged and look disgusted like there’s a constant bad odour under your nose. Occasionally curl your lip.

Mad Men: A bit unhinged and looks disgusted, like there was a bad odour under her nose.
Top Of The Lake: A bit unhinged and looks disgusted, like there was a bad odour under her nose.
The Handmaid’s Tale: A bit unhinged and looks disgusted, like there was a bad odour under her nose

Her latest shit sandwich is out, ‘The Invisible Man’, but..it’s updated. Yes, it’s another misandrist, “men are horrible” turds where the woman no one believes seems to be crazy. Psh. Those bloody controlling men.

It wasn’t that long ago that Moss was giving an emotional ‘Me Too’ Golden Globe acceptance speech saying it was ‘to the women who were brave enough to fight for equality and freedom in this world’. A bit clichéd but typical Hollywood guff. Although, as the actress’s Scientology religion had been accused of covering up sexual assaults, especially rapey Scientologist actor, Danny Masterson, the hypocrisy is…well, like having a bad odour under your nose.

Moss is best-known for the ridiculous melodrama, ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’, liberal propaganda hidden in feminist wrapping paper. Subservient women, rapey men, controlled society, the subjugation of fertility, etc. The whole nonsense reeks of overacting and paranoia, a bit like Moss’s everyday world as when she shrilly told The Guardian, “This is happening in your real life. Wake up, people. Wake up”. No, its not. It’s not happening. Calm down, Twinkles.

Your acting is dull, you have the warmth of Myra Hindley, your religion is juvenile science fiction and you resemble an unhinged, hard-boiled egg. Somebody open a window.

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

Naturism ‘Hate Crimes’

Where hate crime philosophy inevitably leads:
(And building on the Insanity cunting)

‘British Naturism, which represents about 9,000 nudists, wants the right to get naked in public to be recognised as a ‘philosophical belief’ in the eyes of the law.

Its president, Mark Bass, told the Mail on Sunday they were lobbying for the change, ‘so we are not abused in our day-to-day lives. These days, we all agree that shouting abuse at somebody because of the colour of their skin, their sexual preference, or their religion is not acceptable’.

Yep, objecting to a bollock naked cunt in public should be classified as hate crime. Naturism is a fundamental philosophical belief, apparently.

This is the natural and fucking inevitable progression of allowing fucking loonies to set the agenda.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

Stealth Bombing Shop Farters

Ever rounded a corner in a shop and walked into an invisible bubble of stink? Then you’ve been stealth bombed. The effect normally kicks in just as you see someone wander off in the corner of your eye, then boom, it hits you! Some dirty bastard has just emptied their guts and swiftly walked off leaving a stagnant, heavier-than-air, chewable shit bomb for you to inhale as you unknowingly walk right into it.

Seems to be getting more frequent these days and I don’t know if its due to the prevalence of cheap, takeaway delivery services giving everyone affordable gut rot, in which case I’d call it being ‘Deliverood’, or maybe it’s due to a turn in the attitude of people, ie dropping a fart ‘bomb’ for sadistic pleasure, then watching the victim suffer it from a distance, in which case I’d call it being (Tony) ‘Blaired’.

Maybe its just all the EU lot doing it to get their own back on us, because of ‘Brexit’.

Christ knows, but I’m sick of walking into oxygen vacuum, stink bubbles deposited by these cunts when I’m in some shop or another. Maybe I should try some higher brow outlets than my local Poundland, Primark and Polski Sklep.

Nominated by Cuntry Cunt

Glamping

I’ve been talking to a friend who bought a couple of Shepherd’s Huts and a couple of Yurts which he claimed to let out for anything over £100 a night, depending on dates. I thought that he was joking, especially when he told me that they contained copper baths, wood burners, etc, but apparently not. I looked up his site and it’s all true. Now, good luck to him and all that shit, but who in their right mind pays that kind of money to sit in a wooden hut, or tent in the middle of a fucking field?

I can understand proper camping (even, to a degree, caravanning)…cheap, healthy, ability to move on, etc, but what fun can there be in sitting in a fixed tent, or wooden hut for a fucking week? For the same kind of money I’d be expecting a decent bed, dinner and breakfast in a pub.

I can only assume that “Glampers” must be townies with more money than sense, who imagine that they’re “reconnecting with nature” (or some other equally appalling phrase). As far as I can see, all they are actually doing is paying a fortune to sit in an unconverted chicken shed with less room, but slightly more amenities than their own reconstituted stone, “highly sought-after”, commuter belt home.

I will also add that David Fucking Cameron owns a shepherd’s hut apparently…if my earlier points didn’t convince you, surely this one fact alone will validate my Cunting?

Fuck Glampers.

Nominated by Dick de Pfeffel Foxchaser-Fiddler