I’m nominating Patrick Stewart, Alex Kurtzman and Amazon Video for the literal shit show that is Star Trek: Picard. My problem with this show is that it is neither Star Trek, nor Jean-Luc Picard in the show.

Star Trek was always supposed to be a show that the whole family could watch. Sure, at times it had the odd political message, the first interracial kiss being one of the most famous. However, that politics was always non-partisan, and for the most part, done in a sensitive way. Star Trek: Picard and it’s recent predecessor, Star Trek: Dick Suckery, are entirely partisan toward the Far Left. Both have episodes with F-bombs being dropped and extreme violence, both heavily feature women who are perfect in every way. In Picard, there hasn’t been an episode where the alleged Picard hasn’t been shouted at, or berated by a woman, and he’s just taken it like a good little cuck. One female Admiral even berated him over his “sheer fucking hubris”.

A recent episode showed that there was a black market for Borg implants and the opening scene showed a Borg, a character from Star Trek: Voyager called Icheb, being dismembered while fully conscious, without anaesthetic and screaming in agony. They actually showed him having an eye ripped out. So much for family viewing. Patrick Stewart actually announced a couple of days before it was released that the show was an allegory for Brexit and Trump’s Presidency. And there have certainly been a couple of negative references to Brexit, with Picard’s Irish Romulan housekeeper saying “dumb Northeners” after an attack by other Romulans on Picard’s vineyard. Kurtzman himself got into trouble for publicly stating that he didn’t want Trump supporters watching it. Well, he’s got that wish, because the ratings have fallen off a cliff. And it’s not just Trump supporters switching off.

The show bears absolutely no resemblance to Trek of the past. It’s badly written, badly acted and makes little sense. It is the quintessential woke show. A pile of festering shite.

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw

2020 started off brilliantly. The swamp in Parliament had been cleared and Boris was saying all the right things, but so far it’s turned into bit of a cunt year. Here’s why:

– Corona virus C-19, but don’t worry and just wash your hands. Nothing to see here.
– 125 billion wiped off the stock market.
– New IR35 rules – contracts are few and far between and the rates are lower. That’s me fucked then.
– Weird media outpouring for Phillip Schofield.
– Panic buying and fighting over toilet paper.
– China gets 5G radiation contract.
– Iran plane ‘crash’.
– Millions of snowflakes panicked by Twitter spat between Trump and Iran.
– Rain and more rain… and then more rain.
– Mud like the Somme, at least where I walk the dogs.
– Flooding in U.K.
– Terrifying bushfires in Oz.
– Megxit (that’s a good thing though)
– All Labour Party leader candidates exactly the same as Corbyn, no lessons learned (don’t care).
– St Greta visits UK and ruins Bristol for a day.
– Turkey opens border to allow thousands of men on the make into Europe.

P.S. I have a loose tooth and need to go the dentist.

Feel free to add to the list.

Nominated by Cuntologist

Yes, those boring old fucks ‘Genesis’ are going on tour. This time round, old Crooner Phil will be performing in a wheelchair. Who said rock n roll isn’t sexy anymore?

Has the old git got no self respect?

They wheeled him on stage in LA in a bath chair recently. I am embarrassed for the ridiculous wanker. Has he gone completely skint? I saw Genesis back in 1970 when young Phil was at the top of his game. I won’t be going to see this spectacle. It will be like watching a relative dying a slow death through Cancer.

I bet he ends up singing his old cheesy love ballads from the 80’s. Hopefully he will do a Tommy Cooper before the encore. Slumped back in his wheelchair with a big piss stain in the front of his pyjamas.

Nominated by Fenton Fistula