A self-important, ‘it’s all about me’ cunting, to the world of celebrity during the apocalypse.

Despite the rest of us worrying about our loved ones, jobs, homes and sanity, these fuckers just can’t handle not being the centre of attention for five minutes.

We then get ‘treated’ to their ‘self-isolating’ videos. Some worrying that they or a family member has got a cough/loss of smell (Lineker). Others tell us how to manage our mental health (Stephen Fry).

Well you bellends, it’s easier to manage your mental state throughout this with £20 million in the bank, isn’t it? Not so much when you’re living month to month, or can last about 2 or 3 months more of this before losing your business.

I’m not saying celebs don’t have a right to be concerned. They are humans and have families too. However, they do not have the financial, or career worries that the rest of us have.

Therefore, these cunts need to keep their gobs shut during this bollocks (well, perhaps apart from Arnold Schwarzenegger, who has produced some amusing videos). It’s as if these self entitled cunts think they have a duty to ‘inform’ us. We’ve got more problems thanks, so unless you can come up with a vaccine, stick your attention-seeking attitudes up your arses.

Nominated by Cuntybollocks

Celebrity Coronavirus.

Yet again we Plebs are getting the thin end of the wedge. The Coronavirus that attacks “ordinary” people can kill…Celebrity Coronavirus, which only attacks the famous, does not.

Indeed, Celebrity Coronavirus seems to be fairly innocuous. Famous people who have oh-so-kindly reported their symptoms via Facebook report that they have virtually no symptoms at all. A slight cough perhaps, or maybe a headache at the worst….certainly nothing serious enough to prevent them using their celebrity insider knowledge to self-diagnose and tell us how they are bravely battling on as an example to us lesser mortals.

We really are lucky that we live in an age of social media where our betters from the world of reality shows, soap-operas and pop singers can tell us mere mortals of their struggles….it really is inspiring to read about these selfless heroes.

Perhaps we could have a Wankathon where we all stand at our front doors, or open windows and furiously wank ourselves stupid, just to show our gratitude to the real heroes of this emergency….THE CELEBRITIES.

Nominated by Dick de Pfeffel Foxchaser-Fiddler

Scaremongers are cunts.

In almost every situation, whether its a vote, a referendum, Brexit, the environment, or a deadly virus outbreak – there are scaremongers. They say bad things will happen if you pick a choice they don’t want, or choose to do what they don’t want you to do. They’re everywhere, literally, saying things like ‘Britain leaving the EU will destroy our economy’ and ‘smoking causes cancer’. They cant provide any PROOF of any of the shit they claim, but they know that the gullible masses among the people will believe them.

These guys (and girls) are the reason why certain decisions aren’t made, certain scientific breakthroughs aren’t found, people don’t vote for change, we don’t already explore space…and many other great things. Scaremongers should fuck off and keep their unsubstantiated bullshit to themselves. Have a go at them, fellow cunters, they deserve it!

Nominated by DiabloLordOfTerror

In this time of national crisis it’s good to know that we’re all in it together – unless, of course, your name is Stephen Kinnock, a Member of Parliament, and arrogant fucker who thinks that the law is beneath him and only for other people.

Not only was this idiot breaking the rules on essential travel during a health emergency that is killing people all over the planet, but he was stupid enough to post it on social media and them bleat that he was being ‘targeted’ by the police for having audacity to reply thus to his rather inappropriate tweet :

“Hello @SKinnock we know celebrating your Dad’s birthday is a lovely thing to do, however this is not essential travel. We all have our part to play in this, we urge you to comply with @GOVUK restrictions, they are in place to keep us all safe. Thank you.”

Pretty fucking mild targeting in my opinion. This arsehole drove 200 miles to visit his father on his birthday. This is not essential travel. It contravenes the government rules. I can’t even drive a mile up the road to visit my grandchildren, yet this fucker thinks none of this applies to him.

Predictably, that well know left wing arsewipe, The Guardian, had this to say : “Critics said the police were overzealous in publicly criticising the MP, as others warned they could could lose the respect of the public.”

No, no, no!!!! If anything, people like this should be setting an example to the rest of us. He’s an MP for Chrisake! If criticism is due, it should be levied on the police for not slapping a £60 fine on him. I’m sure they would have slapped one on me if I’d behaved like this.

I would not wish this disease on anyone – but wouldn’t it be a poetic irony if the Kinnick family now succumbed to it?

Mr Kinnock, you are not above the law, but you are my candidate of choice for “Cunt of the Week”. Congratulations…

Nominated by Dioclese

Emergency Cunting please.

Apparently, we won’t be allowed to call certain criminals “offenders” any more, according the HM Prison and Probation Service, as they find this quite offensive and antiquated in today’s more inclusive society.

From now on, any criminal under supervision will be called “a person subject to probation services”.

So, never mind about rising crime and shite sentencing, let’s all worry about not offending the offenders!

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/politics/2020/03/20/offenders-become-people-subject-probation-services-move-create/

Nominated by Technocunt

Isn’t Boris, well…just a little bit of a cunt ?
“Pretty” Patel wanted to limit / ban incoming flights from virus-affected areas; Boris, he say no, because he worries people might be upset…
Ex Met and Square Mile police chief suggests baton rounds, tasers, and possibly something stronger; he says he found videos of the Indian police beating people with sticks quite interesting (I thought they did that all the time, but there you go…).
This is a major health issue, whichever way you look at it; we ALL know there are vermin out there who will stop at nothing; so, occasionally, if some scratter gets offed, well the cuntry is pretty overpoulated.
Boris is in danger of straying into Joyce Grenfell territory: “George, DON’T do that !”

Nominated by HBelindaHubbard