At the end of each programme there is a screen which says, “If You Are Planning Your Own Grand Design Get In Touch”.

No need for any of that mularky.
I will tell you exactly what will happen. That will save you having to tolerate the smug, slap head cunt, Kevin McCloud.

Your £360,000 budget will triple.
You will end up having to scrounge money from parents and friends.
You will spend your entire credit card limits.

You will not be “in for Christmas”, not this year or the next two.
Your 8 month build will run to at least 3 years.

You will not get the planning permission that you wanted.
You will have to appeal at least twice to get some sort of compromise.

One of you will take over the role as Project Manager because you will sack your main contractor.
This will mean that you will pack in your day job.

Your window supplier will be months overdue with your delivery.

Your wife will get pregnant during the build.

You will end up with a weird house.
It will not be a home.
It will lack any comforts.

All that is inevitable.
It happens in every programme.

Kevin McCloud has made a career of this predictability.
25 year’s of churning out the exact same tosh.

No wonder he is such a smug cunt.

It makes you wonder how these people manage to secure huge mortgages on non standard construction builds, especially when one of them have jacked in their paying job to concentrate on the project.

And………
The people that sign up to have their build featured do not receive one fucking penny for filling up an hour of television time.

grand designs

Nominated by The Artful Cunter.

Some cunter made a comment about this, and it intrigued me.

They don’t go anywhere, they die, having already fulfilled their purpose.

How to keep them out of your house?

Cinnamon – use cinnamon as an air freshner, as flies hate the smell!

Lavender, eucalyptus, peppermint and lemongrass essential oils – Not only will spraying these oils around the house create a beautiful aroma, but they will also deter those pesky flies too.

Another link follows.

cales.arizona

Nominated by Jeezum Priest.

‘P&O owner to attend summit despite row over minister’s comments’

And what did she say? :-

‘The row started after Haigh described P&O as a “rogue operator” in an interview with ITV on Wednesday, after it sacked nearly 800 seafarers in 2022 and replaced them with cheaper workers.’

Yes, these cunts sacked 800 people from Hull and surrounds to replace them with agency slaves. If that’s not rogue, what the fuck is? Worker’s rights eh, Kweer?

However, this didn’t affect Islington, Whitehall or Westminster. Which is the true face of these Labour cunts.

bbcnews

bbcnews Kweer

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble.

*Deadline Oct 10, 2024*

It’s the end of the fourth day’s play in the first test match between Pakistan and England in Multan, and what a feast of run-making we’ve seen on what’s proved to be a nightmare pitch for bowlers.

Pakistan batted first and must have fancied their chances after running up a very tidy score of 556, including three centuries. England however decided that they were having a laugh, and proceeded to rattle the ball around with gay abandon. Yorkies Harry Brook and Joe Root made 317 and 262 respectively, with Crawley chipping in 78 and Duckett 84, as England amassed 823-7 dec., the fourth highest total in test history.

And what of England captain Ollie Pope in this England run extravaganza? Well, the lad was out facing only his second delivery, without, as they used to say in the golden age of Test Match Special, ‘troubling the scorers’.

You’ve got to feel sorry for him, but at the same time you can’t help but laugh. He must feel like a right twat for missing out on this track. I bet he’d like to kick his own arse, and you can’t blame him.

Daily Fail

Nominated by Ron Knee.

charities.

There’s very little that surprises me, in terms of criminal activity, and naturally I condemn those who are violent.

One thing, however, I find so abhorrent, that I really cannot forgive, are those who use positions of trust to steal funds from charities, especially small ones.

Ms. MacCallum stole almost £86k from a cancer charity set up by her best friend in memory of her daughter who died from leukemia. MacCallum also stole nearly £10k from the Anthony Nolan Trust.

Her excuse for the thefts, carried out between 2011 and 2021 was that her daughter was in “terrible trouble” and needed access to money. Ten years? That’s a long time to be in “terrible trouble” Lindsay!

She was sentenced to three years, which seems to be on the lenient side to me.

bbcnews

Nominated by Jeezum Priest.