Oh gawd….the country’s oldest bachelor boy has reappeared to let us know that he is still alive but more importantly that he was diagnosed with prostate cancer and is now on the mend.

He urged men to “get tested, get checked”. Maybe all that sun in the Caribbean has fried his brain. Has he tried to see a GP or a specialist and then wait months for treatment? This wizened old ballbag almost certainly has private healthcare and is not at the mercy of Our NHS which is in the middle of its annual winter permacrisis and doctors strikes.

Maybe he’d like Tracy from the canteen to give him an examination in the medical supplies cupboard because they are short-staffed and have no wards available or some Africunt with a with a qualification from a backstreet diploma factory who thinks his prostate is in his ear? Its especially galling as he is now using the very same media that he lamented for press intrusion into his private life to whine about his ills. Its almost as if he has a nationwide tour to promote and a calendar to sell.

To add insult to injury Cliff also wants to work with King Charles to raise awareness on cancer….well chimp lad can fuck off as well. He is another rarefied old throbber who needs a dose of the real world.

‘We don’t talk anymore’ the care home favourite once sang. Christ, if only.

Daily Mirror.

Nominated by : Liberal Liquidator

In this wonderful world of cctv, their is a lot of footage about of people doing some nasty shit.

It fucks me off when the said person in the footage denies it, but fuck me when the press and other media refer to them as the “alleged” it somewhat interferes with my mental interface.
Currently some rag head is languishing in a hospital bed recovering from multiple perforations sustained from the police (confirmed) whilst he allegedly opened fire on a bunch of civilians!!!!!!!!!

I don’t think that it was alleged, I definitely saw him get shot by the police (confirmed) and I am pretty sure it was him on the video shooting at the civilians, unless we have some ridiculous JFK scenario (Puff of smoke behind the grassy knoll) and the bloke had a blank firing replica!

what a load of bollocks.

I appreciate innocent until proven guilty, but fuck me when its screamingly obvious can we skip that part and not have our intelligence insulted!

The Grauniad.

Nominated by : Lord benny

Checkout Charity is not only a cunt, it’s a subtle form of shaming.

Now, what is Checkout Charity. If you’ve been in certain chain stores, Poundland is one ( if ever a shop needed a name change, eh?), possibly your regular supermarket, you get to the point of paying and get the following message.

” Would you like to donate £1 to our supported charity? ”
Or possibly
” Would you like to round up your total to the nearest £, for our supported charity? “.

Now, you’re in a rush, there’s a queue of muttering pensioners behind you hissing ” hurry up, FFS “, you get flustered and press the green for go button!

It used to be prevelant, but not so much these days, which is mainly due, apparently, to a healthy distrust by the public of how much actually reached the charities.

The Conversation.

Do people really feel guilty about pressing the “Hell, no!” button. I don’t, and never have.

Over to you.

Nominated by : Jeezum Priest

Apologies if this has been done already, I just remembered this weak excuse of a man this afternoon..

Peter Ettedgui, the more retarded brother of Andy Burnham and Michael McIntyre has after 50 years, remembered nigel farage made some comments to him.

I mean we all do have memory lapses from time to time, but that’s normally were did I put my car keys.

But good old Pete’s memories have suddenly flooded back.
And the BBC, home of the black and white minstrels and it ain’t arf hot mum are apoplectic with rage..

Hilariously it’s made farage more popular with voters.. Still I shall wait eagerly till everyone who went to school from now until then, has their past raked over.
Should be fun..

Cry me a river Pete, you beta cuck.

inews

Nominated by Barry zuckercunt.

Has always been a cunt. However, he has been well and truly found as the twat he is by the Liverpool fans who viewed him as saint, pope, king and all round deity.

The lazy arsed twat has been shite for Liverpool recently, The shiftless bastard won’t get back to defend for a start. And, currently, he couldn’t score in Hamburg with ten grand up his arse. So, it’s only common sense that Arnie Slot drops the little sod.

But, will Salah take it like a man and accept, at least, part of the blame? Will he hell as like.

No, Salah has gone on a whinge fest. Squealing about how he’s been ‘thrown under the bus’ and he has also personally slagged of his manager, crying that he is ‘unwanted’. Boo fucking hoo, Grow a bloody pair, eh?

Well, to me, it stinks of Salah doing a Beckham or Kanchelskis. All this self pitying whining and blaming everyone else. When they (Beckham and the Ivan cunt) both wanted out of the club, yet they weren’t man enough to admit it. I dare say big – massive – money is involved, and I reckon the Saudis or Americans are already in the loop.

When one thinks of past Anfield greats: Saint John, Toshack, Keegan, Dalglish, Rush. Keegan honestly said it was time to move on, and both the player and the club organised his transfer to SV. Hamburg, No whining and no skullduggery.

But these modern ones? A grown man blubbering like a baby because he can’t take being dropped? What sort of quivering blancmange is he?

Mind you, I still reckon it’s part of a game to get a big money move, while blaming LFC for ‘forcing’ him out.

Cunters and Gentlemen, I give you Our old mate and mucker ‘Mo’ Salah….

BBC Sport.

Nominated by : Norman