The Birthday Cake Game


I often put Radio 4 Extra on for a bit of light relief, as there is some good stuff on there, but there is also a load of unmitigated shite, usually made recently, to be avoided.

The most recent example is The Birthday Cake Game – presented by Richard Osman, in which two or three smug so- called comedians are asked to guess the age of various celebrities. They then ring up a member of the public and ask them questions, in order to guess that persons age.

When you consider the great comedies and characters this country has produced, it is a truly depressing spectacle, and as an idea for entertainment is arse-numbingly boring.

It speaks volumes that, when I heard the show, I had just got up after about three hours sleep due to noise from the house directly behind, and this show still made me feel like what was left of my brain was dying in my head.

Crap like this just should not be allowed. I really hope they pick my number to ring one day so I can call the cunts as many expletives as I can fit in, before they cut me off.

Birthday Cake Link

Nominated by: Mary Hinge

Insulate Britain (2) – A Personal Take

Insulate Britain, now they are a bunch of cunts,
Let me tell you why.

I have been at war with the local council over my flat, we have (had) a massive damp problem and it was fucking cold too!

Their logic dictates that I should go and glue myself to an A road, I did not.

I took a thermal camera and took a look at where I live, I live in the end flat of a block.
I then researched the archives and found that in changing from provider to provider that the plans of my councils housing stock had gone missing and they were unaware that the flats were a Bison cross panel build from the 1960’s.

I politely contacted them and said that the outside render had failed causing ingress of water into the cavity causing the problem which was then multiplied by the new gas central heating.

Go back in time to central heating, it was normally a forced air flow unit central to a property that moved hot air drying the property.

So I suggested to the local council that a simple fix is to clad the outer wall (concrete slab) with insulation and render over it.

Now I am not sure if Grenfell is fresh in their memory or they have their heads up their arse…. so.

They rendered the outside wall with pebble dash….. they then needed to check the cavity wall insulation….. (never done in the 60s) ….

I got fed up waiting for them and cored the wall myself (inside to cavity) to discover that the wall is 5 thick of plasterboard indicating that this has been going on for some time and they have patched over it! oh and no insulation.

Now again at no point did I feel the need to glue myself to anything.

So after almost a year of wasted time and visits the council sends their head chap, he looks at the findings of the reports and suggests that insulation be applied to the outer wall and rendered over!

only took a year and a half!

so folks, the parable to the worthy, I live in a “right shit hole” my neighbours live upon your taxes to survive ( let us not go there) some of these people will not be able to heat their flats come winter, yes I know Brexit and Crack prices and all that, but as I pointed out at the beginning of my fight with the local council, better insulation reduces bills and benefits.

at no point in my argument did I glue myself to anything.

The others are a bunch of moronic twats!

Nominated by: lord benny(not quite deceased, but close)


And on a slightly different take, there’s this from Cunty McCunterson

Liam Norton of Insulate Britain

The potato-headed cunt has embarrassed himself every time he has opened his mouth and therefore needs a massive cunting. This smooth-brain has been repeating this banal David King quote “What we do in the next 5 years will determine the future of humanity” incessantly as if repeating this magical incantation absolves him of all moral responsibility for the damage he and his hordes of wastrel morons have done.

It doesn’t. It just makes him look like a 5 year old incapable of communicating on his own without daddy to help him. A simple quote doesn’t get it done, pal.

He clearly hasn’t thought through anything beyond the first order of analysis. So, whenever he’s backed into a corner by any journalist (which is often), he panics, the two synapses in his brain suddenly spark, and hey presto! The David King quote painfully stutters out like some broken action figure from the 1980s had its pull-string tugged too many times. “What we do in the next 5 years will de…termine the f..uture o…f h…uma…nity”. It’s sad.

How a person this unappealingly thick has managed to rise to the station of ‘spokesperson’ for any organisation is baffling beyond comprehension. I mean you’d HAVE to be pretty dense to think staging protests on the M25 is going to win hearts and minds over to your cause in the first place. The world of work is not missing the next Elon Musk here.

But, to add to the guy’s endless list of charmless attributes he has compared himself to Churchill!!! Okay, he’s saying sometimes popular opinion isn’t right in the long run. After all, Churchill had to fight to convince Britain we had to stand up to the Nazis. Right? But, what Churchill didn’t do is pop on a hi-viz jacket, walk onto a motorway putting lives and livelihoods at risk by shutting down infrastructure and then dribble out mindless turds from his mouth on the news in justification.

Nope. He made his case intelligently, using the force of conviction, his ability to communicate, charm, persuade, and most importantly, the democratic process.

All Liam ‘omelette brain’ Norton has done is piss on everyone’s head from a great height and tell them it’s for their own good.

Liam Norton is not an outlier either. It’s now a middle-class trend to throw a spanner in the works every time a weather scientist trots out another book. In fact, any social justice book seems to get these guys in the mood for a day out fucking up everyone’s day. You get the sense that common sense is in short supply among his eco-warrior ilk. And we all know how common sense is – not very.

The only insulation we need is from cunts like Liam Norton. Long may he dance in traffic.

Sadiq Khan (31)

Another cunting for the Concorde-nosed , idiotic little Norman Wisdom wanabee, Sadiq Khunt, who, inone of his innumerable TV appearances calls for crimes against wimminz to be categorised as “hate crimes”:

News Link

If this cunt was to do his job properly, instead of playing to the gallery and being a social justice warrior and putting on the curry powder and Max Factor to have sofa chats, we might not have record levels of knife and gun crime in London and less murders.

This midget menace must be an inspiration to children – even if you are only 5ft tall you, too, can become “important”. If this is an example of Labour control, it makes you groan to think of what Dame Keir would do to fuck up the whole of Britain and not just London.

Nominated by: W.C. Boggs

Desperate Angela Rayner MP (3)


Crikey, it looks as though Bonfire Night’s arrived early. Stand back everyone; somebody went and put a match to the blue touch paper on Angela Rayner’s head and the firework duly ignited, showering sparks and foul-smelling smoke everywhere.

At what’s been described as a ‘drinks reception’ for Labour party faithful, the Deputy Leader launched into an intemperate rant against the Tories, labelling them as ‘racist, sexist, misogynistic… an absolute pile of banana republic, vile, nasty Etonian scum‘. **

Somebody will correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t this the same Angela Rayner who in the past has railed against the abuse of politicians, and called for a kinder, gentler politics?

Minister Amanda Milling described the outburst as ‘shocking’ (no shit Sherlock), and has demanded an apology, which at the time of writing, the gobshite Rayner has declined to offer.

Labour leader Sir Keir Hardie has stated ‘that is not the language I would use‘, which is politico speak for ‘what the actual fucking fuck?’. I bet he was fizzing when he heard this, and would like to kick the barmy cow into the middle of next week.

Altogether now…
Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Three cheers for Angela Rayner, helping to keep Labour unelectable.

**the choice of words differs slightly depending upon the source being referenced.

Metro UK News Link

Nominated by: Ron Knee

(There is a nom scheduled soon for Dame Keir Starmer – Day Admin)

Unreliable Tradesmen

Tradesmen who can’t or won’t keep their word

As cunters know I had a recent episode in hospital, getting better but slowly. I arranged for a plasterer and a floor layer to come to Cunty Towers to put up a new ceiling and a new floor. Agreed dates said day arrives.

Where’s said tradesman? Text and phone both no fucking response. This is starting to really boil my piss. No ceiling no floor. In other words, no fuck all. One fucking clown has fucked me around for six fucking weeks. He hasn’t rocked up to give me an estimated price yet!!!!

Guess who is going to get a fuck off you cunt when he deigns to call? When I was self employed I always made sure that I rang customer and verified date. Well, looks like three cunts are going to get one star reviews on trust pilot?

Nominated by: CuntyMort