“Here’s tae uz, wha’s like uz? Gey few, an’ they’re aw deid”.

“Aye, et’s yer Beloved Leadur an’ Furst Minestur Nic’la Sturgeon here, or ‘Oor Nic’la’ as ah ken youse aw like tae call me”.

“Anyhoo, youse ‘ave aw had yer Chrismuss like ah said, but wi’ yon Omnipresent beasty aboot, did youse aw gae canny like youse were telt? Naw. Ah telt youse tae tek care an’ thet, but youse wuz aw oot an’ aboot, weren’t yez, at th’ fitba’, shawpin’ an’ doon the bar bevvyin’ an’ stuff. Noo the wee beasty’s a’ over th’ place like shite aff av a shovel, an’ et’s all youse fault, so et tis”.

“So noo, ah’m tellin’ youse thet yer can ferget aboot Hawgmanay, so yer can. Fae Bawksin Day onnards, new regalashuns is in fae three weeks or mair. Hawgmanay celebratin’ is aff, so there’ll be nay meetin’ an’ greetin’ up th’ toon an tha’. Croods a’ any ootdayer do is limited tae five hunnerd, so the Auld Firm game an’ Hibees agin’ th’ Jam Tarts can gae whistle. Ef youse is gaein’ oot for a drenk o’ ah bite, th’ bar can onny serve aff av th’ table, an’ youse ‘ad better keep yer distance an’ aw”.

“Ah’m tellin’ youse noo, there’ll be nay enjoyin’ yersel’ this Hawgmanay. Ef youse dinnae dee whut yer telt this time an’ stay indoors, ah’ll ‘ave th’ poliss roond yer hoose at three in th’ mornin’, an’ they’ll drag yer roond here so ah can get ma foot right up th’ crack o’ yer erse”.

“Reet that’s youse aw telt, so aw thet remains is fer me tae wesh youse an’ yers ah guid, prosperous, but above aw, a HAPPY an’ HEALTHY New Year, jus’ as ah’m sure youse aw had in 2021”.

News Link

Nominated by: Ron Knee

Yes I know by and large such things only last barely a month before it all goes to shit and forgotten about until the next year. But I am more determined than ever to make a better effort this time round. Namely:-

Be less tolerant to tourists, especially those who clutter up single-lane roads with their Chelsea Chariots, and dump their littler all over the shop!

Write to my local Tory MP, Trudy “nice MILF” Harrison, on a monthly basis, warning her that she will lose my vote if she doesn’t find her backbone and tell Boris to fuck off!

Cancel my TV licence. Enough is enough with those smug BBC cunts, especially when the World Cup kicks off in Qatar, and none of the virtue signalling football punters will have the balls to criticise local laws over there – including the very same things they’re very keen to bang on about over in this fucking country.

Getting shot of some of my stupid customers who totally ignore my advice about their IT setup, and then a few weeks/months later complain to me that they’ve lost everything and its somehow my fault!

Replying anonymously to those “How Did we Do?” questionnaires from supermarkets and online retailers, suggesting that their service was shit and that they’re all a bunch of cunts who never listen to feedback anyway.

Buy voodoo dolls and stick photos of Greta Iceberg, BJ Boris and Princess Nutjob’s faces on there heads, and stick pins in them every day.

Give up on the idea of an explicit lesbian sex scene between Natalie Portman and Emma Watson will ever see the light of day!

Become a bit more vocal with local council decision-making, especially when it comes to the resettlement and priority service for “refugees” to the area. The National Trust can fuck off too with any further visits from me.

All the usual half-baked resolutions such as cutting back on booze, wanking, fast food and be more active etc, can all take a hike because no doubt the next Covid variant will supposedly kill me anyway.

What are your resolutions?

Nominated by: Technocunt

(Lord Fiddler’s new diverse Masonic Lodge 2022 – Day Admin)

The Masonic Hall in my village has been kindly provided to the NHS as a Covid vaccination centre…as I was peeping through the eye of a portrait of one of my glorious predecessors ” Grand Wizard Felonious Fiddler” to make sure that none of the Great Unwashed were stealing any of my treasures, I heard some very rude comments about the Masons….it’s a fucking disgrace….we do a lot to help the community….I for one know that I’d have never got planning permission for that field in the next village without Brotherly help…then where would those Barratt-Box dwelling, “Country Executive style housing” incomers be,eh?

Nominated by: Dick Foxchaser-Fiddler

HAPPY NEW YEAR PERVERTS, DEVIANTS AND OTHER ISAC ODD BALLS

– THE ADMIN TEAM

Always knew he was a cunt, but apparently, now he wants to underline it!
He is hosting a birthday bash at his newly acquired residence on Martha’s Vineyard MA –

New York Post News Link

Apparently about five hundred have been invited – so fuck Covid …

And why the fuck has he just bought this place which is only a few feet above sea level? Recent statement from the Vineyard Conservation society –

“Rising sea levels will affect Martha’s Vineyard within the lifetimes of kindergartners who are living on the Vineyard today,”

So he obviously doesn’t really believe all the crap that he spouts about Climate Change!!

Nominated by Cassandra

A joint nomination please for John Goodier (who’d like to be known as Claire), the Daily Mail and the justice system.

Already twice convicted for possession of indecent images of children, Goodier has now added a conviction for bestiality while high on cocaine. At least the judge has seen fit to jail him despite the best efforts of the defending counsel to play down the depraved act.

Almost as disgusting as the act itself is the fact that both the Mail and courts pander to this pêr-vert by referring to him as she. A blind person down a lights out pit shaft at midnight shown a photograph of Goodier could not mistake him for a woman. FGS refer to him as he. He was, is and always will be male.

Daily Mail News Link

Nominated by: Dickie Dribbler

And on a similar note, this from Cuntybollocks

John ‘Claire’ Goodier

Who says trannies are mental cases? Are you one of those ‘trannyphobes’, or whatever pejorative they use to make it seem as though it’s you that has the problem nowadays?

Clearly, this individual is not a mental. Thinks it’s a woman and demands to be addressed as one, despite being about as convincing a lady as Geoff Capes in a frock.

This thing had already been put on the sex offenders list for life for being a pea dough, so what next?

Shagging dogs it seems. Got caught and has been sentenced. 20 months, out in 10 – if it manages to not shove a pigeon up its arse in the prison yard during its sentence.

It’ll probably be put in a wimmins’ prison too.

‘It puts me in the girls’ prison or else it gets the hose again.’

Just put the cunt down. And all these fuckers are mental by the way.

If you don’t think you belong in your own body, then there is nothing more mental than that.

I wonder if they teach our kids about this sort of sex case shite, which seems to be quite prevalent among this group?

Funnily enough, I only saw this story on GB News and Breitbart. The BBC et al, seem to have missed it amongst all their brave tranny stories for some reason.

Breitbart News Link