What could a bunch of opticians possibly do to make this grumpy old cunts piss boil over? The answer is above. I was happily watching YouTube last night when an ad for this latest fawning partnership shitfest rudely interrupted the great Alf Garnet going at full steam which really pissed me off.

https://www.visionexpress.com/discover/the-lineker-edit

According to them, IsACs least admired smirking jug lugs cunt is a much loved sports personality and something of a fashion icon, and has chosen his favourite style of eyewear to foist upon us!

Not content with p*ncing £159 from the wallets/purses of around 11,700 telly tax payers, or getting however much from the likes of Walkers et al, this most odious of cunts now gleans yet even more cash for this latest round of cuntitude from companies using the already obscenely wealthy to peddle some overpriced ‘endorsed by a so called celebrity tat’ thinking that its something we all want.

The gushing content of that link is vomit inducing, prattling on about his ‘fruit and veg days’ like Suckdick Khan goes on about his dad being a Bus driver, and don’t even look at the many pictures unless you’re gay. I only looked because I know IsAC needs reputable links these days and I wanted to cunt this pairing. One way or another, patrons of Vision Express will be paying for this bollocks, but luckily I’m not one of them. Based on this collaboration I never will be. So Vision Express, go take your partnership with this slimy overhyped turd and go fuck yourselves because you’ve scored an own goal with me. Cunts.

Nominated by: The Eternally Grumpy Cunt

Alexa (and kids crying to mummy due to it)

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-57680173

Apparently the handful of lasses (may be some lads too, you never know these days) called Alexa are getting howwible jibes in the school play ground, things such as being told “Alexa, dance” etc. Didd fucking ums.

In my day there wasnt a kid in school who didnt get the pleasure of being chased, kicked, harrassed and called every name under the sun. You just tell them to fuck off and smash them in the bollocks.

Its called growing up.

Complaining about a fucking voice activated computer bitch.

Fuck off.

(Commentary on the stupidity of voice activation devices in general are welcome – NA)

Nominated by: GeneralZod

Steve Wright is a premium grade cunt.

Whilst listening to his afternoon show in the car (why you ask?). Well, I had a long business drive and being an old car, the set tends to lose local stations quickly, so I keep the set on BBCR2 and suffer the likes of Jeremy Vine (another cunt) and Steve Wright.

What has pissed me off in particular? This cunt now has this new (ish – NA) catchphrase that he simply cannot resist using – “serious jockin’ “. Note the g dropped from the end of jockin’. He was very explicit about the k being dropped.

The multifarious, sycophantic hangers on in his team applauded him like seals on cocaine (you expect no less) and agreed “yeh, serious jockin’ “, “We’re going to have some serious jockin’ on this show, folks”

Just fuck off Steve Wright and take your fucking serious jockin’ and go and fist yourself to death with it.

You serious jockin’ cunt!

Nominated by: Paul Maskinback

With additional commentary from: Dickie Dribbler

Sorry Admin & Paul for commenting in noms (Allowed as it was relevant. Carry on – NA) but serious jockin isn’t something new for Wright. He’s been using it since at least 2016.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p040vsx9

You might want to consider amending “now has this new catchphrase” to just “has this catchphrase”.

If you thought women commentating on men’s sport was annoying, just wait until you get a load of this ‘un. Her main problem is that she can’t shut up for five seconds. She’s a ‘co commentator’ for footy on ITV, and their role is to chime in (for an ‘expert opinion’) when prompted by the main commentator. Well that’s the way it’s always seemed to work. Remember Motty or Bazza saying summat like “They’ve gone to 4-2-4. Jimmy Hill.”?

Well those days are over. Now it’s ‘The Emma Hayes Show.’

Yes, this ‘un just jumps in as soon as the commentator pauses for breath. Every time. It’s incessant. And she’ll go on and on. And on.

Likes to throw obscure stats around too. “1.8 expected assists per game”. The sort of shite any cunt could write down and bring with them to the game, after a five minute Google search. This makes her ‘a knowledgeable pundit’ according to the (woke of course) media. Bollocks. Ask her about the weird stats she throws out about North Macedonia’s right back after the game. Not a fucking clue I wager.

And get this quote from her too.
I think I know why the main commentators haven’t told her to shut up for two seconds. Or her boss for that matter.

“When the football world is ready to adhere to the diversity codes, so that BAME (Black, Asian and minority ethnic) communities, plus women, get the opportunities in football, then I’ll see that as a step forward,” she said in February, responding to a report that linked her with a job at men’s third-tier club AFC Wimbledon.”

Fucking hell. Has she seen the ‘French’ team lately? She needs to look at a photo of the France team in World Cup 86 vs World Cup 2018. Daft fucker. We’re not far behind them too. I’d say BAMEs are over represented in English football by percentage of population anyway.

And the studios are now full of clueless women causing real football fans to turn off. Box ticking shite. Commentate on your own (women’s) sports.

I was busy and recorded a Euro 2020/2021 game between Spain and Croatia. Turned out to be a classic. Alas, she made it completely unwatchable with her constant wittering. Had to skip through to the goals. Unwatchable.

I’m sure she knows more about the sport than many, but fuck me..it’s not sexist to say she needs to stop commenting on absolutely everything.

Since that game I’ve had a song that I can’t get out of my head.

Oh you won’t stop talkin’
Why doncha give it a rest
You got more rabbit than Sainsbury’s…

https://www.goal.com/en/news/emma-hayes-chelsea-manager-euro-2020-commentary-women-belong/1rc63x4rvlnlo11wjshnhmr8a4

Nominated by: Cuntybollocks

I suppose you could be forgiven for thinking statues were a thing of the past what with cunts daubing them with paint and tearing them down all over the shop. Think again my friends.

This week a beautiful bronze statue has been revealed in Newark, New Jersey featuring none other than Saint George Floyd, drug addict, armed robber and all round trash criminal. St. George is depicted sitting at one end of a park bench so you can sit on it and have your photo taken alongside this dead martyr.

I doubt if George ever visited a park other than to mug some mothers and their kids or deal drugs but art is all about imagination, know what I mean?

Meanwhile, in Brooklyn, New York City they have unveiled a huge bust of St George for everyone’s delight. So statues are making a comeback.

Doesn’t it make you feel all warm inside?

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/larger-than-life-george-floyd-statues-unveiled-to-mark-juneteenth-in-us-cities/ar-AALdNmp

https://www.foxnews.com/us/new-jersey-city-unveils-700-pound-statue-of-george-floyd

(Links kindly provided by Night Admin – NA)

Nominated by: Freddie the Frog