Emma Hayes

If you thought women commentating on men’s sport was annoying, just wait until you get a load of this ‘un. Her main problem is that she can’t shut up for five seconds. She’s a ‘co commentator’ for footy on ITV, and their role is to chime in (for an ‘expert opinion’) when prompted by the main commentator. Well that’s the way it’s always seemed to work. Remember Motty or Bazza saying summat like “They’ve gone to 4-2-4. Jimmy Hill.”?

Well those days are over. Now it’s ‘The Emma Hayes Show.’

Yes, this ‘un just jumps in as soon as the commentator pauses for breath. Every time. It’s incessant. And she’ll go on and on. And on.

Likes to throw obscure stats around too. “1.8 expected assists per game”. The sort of shite any cunt could write down and bring with them to the game, after a five minute Google search. This makes her ‘a knowledgeable pundit’ according to the (woke of course) media. Bollocks. Ask her about the weird stats she throws out about North Macedonia’s right back after the game. Not a fucking clue I wager.

And get this quote from her too.
I think I know why the main commentators haven’t told her to shut up for two seconds. Or her boss for that matter.

“When the football world is ready to adhere to the diversity codes, so that BAME (Black, Asian and minority ethnic) communities, plus women, get the opportunities in football, then I’ll see that as a step forward,” she said in February, responding to a report that linked her with a job at men’s third-tier club AFC Wimbledon.”

Fucking hell. Has she seen the ‘French’ team lately? She needs to look at a photo of the France team in World Cup 86 vs World Cup 2018. Daft fucker. We’re not far behind them too. I’d say BAMEs are over represented in English football by percentage of population anyway.

And the studios are now full of clueless women causing real football fans to turn off. Box ticking shite. Commentate on your own (women’s) sports.

I was busy and recorded a Euro 2020/2021 game between Spain and Croatia. Turned out to be a classic. Alas, she made it completely unwatchable with her constant wittering. Had to skip through to the goals. Unwatchable.

I’m sure she knows more about the sport than many, but fuck me..it’s not sexist to say she needs to stop commenting on absolutely everything.

Since that game I’ve had a song that I can’t get out of my head.

Oh you won’t stop talkin’
Why doncha give it a rest
You got more rabbit than Sainsbury’s…


Nominated by: Cuntybollocks

70 thoughts on “Emma Hayes

  1. The only opinion I want from a splinter is wether or not to shoot it over her face or cum on her tits.!

  2. The good news….
    My son has bought me (and himself) a ticket for the semi final, and the final for the Euros. (Surprisingly – available online during the Germany game).
    The bad news…
    Wembley is a feckin long way from México. I ain’t gonna make it. All I have is five live sport and women commentators, including this ‘sweetheart’ giving me the insight to Harry Kane’s shoe size and just how flat Harry Maguire’s head is.
    Fuck right off.

  3. I’m afraid I have mixed feelings. Never really watching the girlie-game of soccer, I’d no idea this woman existed. Sport that I DO watch though seems to hav reached a happy medium. The lovely Sarra on BT Sports rugby is a joy; Rugby transmissions in general seem to have knowledgeable women (mostly ex players) commentating. Cricket too. I suppose we’re stuck with a female view, I’m just waiting for a MAN to commentate on Netball!

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