Author Archives: A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Greta Thunberg [7] Cover Versions

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My fellow Cunters
For your cuntsiderarion:

Greta Thunberg and her burgeoning career as a pop star.

“She’s no stranger to love
She knows the rules unt
So do I
A full cunt-mit-ment is
What’s she’s looking for
She ain’t getting it
From any fuckin guy….”

You just know her parents are going to release a Greta’s greatest hits album.

It will sit nicely alongside their other “special” daughter’s efforts.

Admin thinks we should do a nomination, to select suitable “Cover Versions” for her to perform. (Perhaps a Top 3 or Top 5 will do it – Day Admin)

Any suggestions ??

(Examples – “When I’m Licking Windows” by George Formby, “Net Zero White Christmas” – Bing Crosby, “I’m still Spazzing” – Elton John, “Who’s That Cunt” – Madge – Day Admin)

Nominated by: Cuntfinder General

Shameless Toothpick Users

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I have nothing against toothpicks as such as they are practical and hygienic but I can´t stand people who use them* in public to dig out masticated bits of bacon fat, stringy ligaments of foot and mouth quality “beef”, sniff and inspect them then flick them away or shove them back into their cakeholes.

Like nose picking and arse wiping, tooth picks should be used in private away from other eyes, particularly mine. Remebre if you ever get an invite to dinner chez moi, no toothpick no cry!

*The official name for these culprits is “toothpickers”, according to the standard reference work on food etiquette “The Good Table Manners Handbook for Cunts” by Dick Foxchaser-Fiddler and Ron Knee published by ISAC Press. Discounts of up to 1% for ISAC readers.

Nominated by: Mr Polly

The Brit Awards [3]

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The Brit Awards

Piers Morgan Gets Upset with The Brits

What a bunch of back slapping virtue signalling cunts this lot are
According to the media Sam ( him his her they them cunt ) Smith has complained non binary people are not represented at the erm awards.
So one knee jerk reaction later they are scrapping best male/female “whatever” award and combining it so instead of best male singer and best female singer it will just be best singer.
Suppose it cuts down how long the show is.

Nominated by: Onceacuntalwaysacunt

With the B side (see what I did there? – NA) remixed by MiddleEngland:

A musical woke fest of a cunting for the Brits – you’ll know why as this is become a trend…

It seems the Brits have scrapped the nomination categories for “male” and “female” artists. You can guess why – but if not, it’s to create more inclusion.

Seemingly brought on by pre cunted singer Sam Smith who identifies as non binary and refused to take part.

I for one as a cis-male feel excluded and I won’t give this wokefest another thought (not that I ever watched, as such but I do like to know who has won).

It’s a sad new world we now live in…

Wokey Brits News Story.

Sky News [14] and Shamima Begum [8]

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Sky News and Begum again.

Just seen an interview (pfft!) with some cunt from sky news “grilling” Begum on why she should come back to Blighty to commit further crimes.
My left testicle could have given a better set of questions to her. Why the fuck is Sly News still giving this piece of camel turd oxygen?

She has been schooled by the leftie commie human rights lawyers to say all the right things and as long as she isn’t given difficult questions to answer – enter stage right Sky reporter – she gets an easy ride. Just like she gave her husbands I guess.

To get into EyeSis you have to prove your committed to the cause. So dog knows what she did to prove it and it wasn’t a prose or piece of needlework depicting a beheading was it.
May she rot in Syria and be fucked royally by the nearest goat herder in every orifice

Nominated by: Onceacuntalwaysacunt

A Challenging Wank

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Recently on this esteemed site, a certain Mr Cunt Engine admitted to (and I quote) ‘knocking one out to a picture of Diane Abbott (wearing mis-matched shoes)’. One can only conclude that the gentleman concerned either has a shoe fetish, or was considerably under the influence at the time. (Or both – NA)

Now for a while, I’ve been toying with the idea of putting up a nomination entitled ‘a challenging wank’, but wasn’t sure if it would meet the criteria for a cunting. Anyway, Admin. have given their blessing, and inspired by Mr Engine’s onanistic excesses, I’ll proceed.

Okay; so what to my way of thinking actually constitutes a ‘challenging wank?’. Well, I think we could reach a fair degree of consensus as to what constitutes ‘an unchallenging wank’; a five knuckle shuffle to lascivious thoughts of a Salma Hayek soapy tit job for example;

https://www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/13600616/salma-hayek-54-purple-bikini-celebrates-2020/

Ergo, a ‘challenging wank’ is the opposite; an attempt at self-fulfilment while lost in perverse thoughts of someone considerably plain or unattractive. The challenge is completed if the proverbial ‘happy ending’ is achieved.

As I’m actually putting this nom. up, I’d better kick it off. In moments of perversity, usually alcohol-induced, I’ve done the biz to Joan Rivers, Celene Dion, Barbra Streisand, Kathy Griffin and (heaven help me) Emma Thompson. Each one a bit of a challenge in her way.

However I couldn’t get a rise with the assistance of a lorry-load of Viagra from the likes of Yoko ‘the Wail’ Ono, Angela ‘The Fuhrer’ Merkel, silicon skank Madonna, Emily Thornberry or the queen herself, Flabbott the Hutt. Now these really do constitute ‘a challenging wank’!.

Need I say more? Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of IsAC!

Nominated by: Ron Knee