I have nothing against toothpicks as such as they are practical and hygienic but I can´t stand people who use them* in public to dig out masticated bits of bacon fat, stringy ligaments of foot and mouth quality “beef”, sniff and inspect them then flick them away or shove them back into their cakeholes.
Like nose picking and arse wiping, tooth picks should be used in private away from other eyes, particularly mine. Remebre if you ever get an invite to dinner chez moi, no toothpick no cry!
*The official name for these culprits is “toothpickers”, according to the standard reference work on food etiquette “The Good Table Manners Handbook for Cunts” by Dick Foxchaser-Fiddler and Ron Knee published by ISAC Press. Discounts of up to 1% for ISAC readers.
Nominated by: Mr Polly
Oh indeed.
This sort of public display needs to be confined to the Middle East and other stinking shitholes.
10
This kind of behaviour is only acceptable if you wear sandals 12 months a year and ride a camel to work! ,
Other disgusting imported acts of extreme cuntitude inc
Picking your nose in public
Blowing your nose without a tissue
Gobbling up phlegm onto the pavement
Sticking your finger in your ear , hauling out some wax then rolling it between your fingers like it’s a fine Cuban cigar
It’s fucking “ sand people “ behaviour and has no place in a civilised society……..
18
“Toothpicks? What’s goin’ on here, Chief? Who is this boy anyway?”
“I asked him to look at the body, that’s who he is.”
(In The Heat Of The Night. 1967)
6
Fucking brilliant film.
Would definitely need a shitload of “trigger warnings” these days.
Not suitable for snowflakes.
5
… you may well have created a new BBFC rating …
‘Only suitable for proper male or female audiences’.
Tha accompanying icon can be a snowflake obliterated by a big red ❌
i.e., caution advised for fuckwits, retards, sensitive cunts and deviant types with a ‘wrong in the fuckin’ head’ nature.
6
Like the little cunts coming out of the school near me. Wearing masks to save their grans, which they lift up to gob on the floor. Classic.
5
A kid in my class at school had his right index and middle fingers in constant use during lessons. One scouring a nostril, the other in his mouth, then swapped them over every 10 minutes or so.
3
Isnt this more a yank thing?
Ive never seen anyone outdoors using a toothpick unless on TV.
Its a affectation,
Used by the sort of people who wear sunglasses indoors
Have a flickknive comb
Sort of Bruce Springsteen
Or a bandit in a spaghetti western.
4
I think you’re right. I’m sure I’ve seen it in war films too. You know the ones where the yanks won the war while the British brewed tea.
6
Hehee😀
“One sugar or two Giles?
Are there any of those scones that Edmund baked left?”
3
I think so Miserable.
On a couple of occasions in the States, we’ve gone into the hotel’s coffee shop or restaurant to see waiters walking about with them dangling from the corners of their mouths.
In both cases we got up and walked out.
2
Mafia goons, greasy spics, redneck sheriff’s,
Greasers in gangs,
All tooth pick types Ron.
1
Do the Camel shaggers use tooth picks? I thought the flies that constantly circle their reeking bodies cleaned their teeth when they slept.
4
A whole 1% off?! What a charitable discount…
3
Don´t get carried away TS! It says “up to 1%”. I also forgot to add it has a foreword by Diane Abbott.
4
The very idea of toothpicks makes me feel ill.
3
They make good javelins for mice.
3
Keep a wooden match in your mouth to look cool like Syvester Stallone on Cobra. I’d go a step further and use a fireplace match. Longer=cooler?
I could be wrong. Probably am.
2
From my experience, if one is in a restaurant, one should use a toothpick only when your other hand covers your mouth, it’s the correct etiquette.
1