Author Archives: A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Noise – Just STFU Please!

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Perhaps its because I’m getting older and far less tolerant, but I did find noise to be a right old cunt!

Clearly circumstances differ for different people, but in my case I’m awakened by a noisy cockerel doing the “cock-a-doodle-do” 50 times over at some outlandish bloody time.

Then there’s all the audio notifications from my various tablets and phones, some of which I have to leave on because they’re work-related regarding server or job failures etc.

Add to that the racket in the kitchen with the microwave pinging, and the coffee machine peculating, the toaster pinging, and the washing machine whirring.

Then the missus wakes up and almost instantly she switches on either the TV for the BBC news bollocks, or the radio, and some awful 80s radio station. And off she chirps trying to sing with some old cunt pop stars from her era. But quite frankly I’ve heard better noise from the pneumatic drill the local water company are currently using to dig up the same bit of road they dug up about a year ago to fix a leak in the same pipework they laid a year ago!

Then you get the sheep and cows bleating and mooing; and that fucking cockerel is still giving in large an hour after waking me up!

From time to time we might get the military from Eskmeals firing missiles overhead and into the sea – all part of their practice just in case we get invaded. And add to that the RAF and USAF flying their jets overhead, again for a bit of practice, but they’re noisy cunts whatever they’re playing at.

Hop into the car and the dashboard emits the usual beeps and bleeps, and some cunt tells me to fasten my seatbelt.

Then you have the smug-cunt voice on satnav telling me where to go, and when I do get to a customer site they’ve always got a TV/radio blaring in the background.

Cut a very long story short, but even out here in the rural sticks of west Cumbria you still get noise – either noisy devices, noisy animals and/or noisy cunts (especially in coffee shops, Greggs and supermarkets)

Seems that people can’t live without loud irritating noise !

Nominated by: Technocunt

Nish Kumar [4] – Billy No Mates

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There are lots of reasons for cunting this mega cunt but this is slightly more specific for one reason.

Up here in Kings Lynn around December time the listings for the upcoming shows were released at the Corn Exchange.

https://www.kingslynncornexchange.co.uk/theatre/whats-on/

Now I quickly bought up two tickets for the pub landlord ( end of March) and whilst waiting to be connected to the booking office as I could not seem to book online I perused who else might be up. (See link)

Now kings lynn being kings lynn is very much a Brexit part of the country. Nish take note.

So, just as a tertiary peeping onto how many tickets were sold at his gig I noticed neatly all the front seating had been taken.

Good lord I thought.

After only a week on sale he’d sold a third roughly. Good going I thought must be a few lefties still up here. Fast forward to the 18th January at 1235pm bearing in mind his gig is just over two weeks away. Clicked on link and low and behold even a matinee for pepper pig has outsold him that same week. Even Josh Widdicunt has completely sold out and his gig was released same day and sold just as many tickets.

Looks like only the lefties bought the tickets then back in December because I really can’t see any deviation in sales. Hah!!! You unfunny cunt.

Be interesting to see if it’s cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances. i.e no other cunt apart from 150 in west Norfolk, north cambs and south east lincs combined want to see and hear your woke bollocks. That’ll teach you to wind up your audience and get pelted with rolls.

One thing for sure is Kings Lynn ain’t Islington you supercilious, up your own arse, AlBBC arse licking mega cunt. Oh and just look at his blurb to try and sell his tickets.

What a knob.

Nominated by: Onceacuntalwaysacunt

Dash Cammers & Brake Checkers

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I sometimes watch these clips of bad driving…
(For those unaware, brake checking is where the car in front of you slams on its brakes deliberately to get a reaction out of you – NA)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_976CI5BwRg&ab_channel=UKDashCameras

….( mainly because I’m sure that I’ll feature in a clip eventually) and it amazes me how many of these “cammers” are sending in clips showing that they are the cause of a lot of the incidents…too fast into roundabouts,lack of anticipation and apparently a belief that it’s alright to have a smash because ” I’m in the right”.

As for the fucking idiots who brake-check people…well,if someone did that to me,I’d probably be so fucking mad that I’d put the pickup into 4 wheel drive and ram the Cunts into a concrete bridge or stone-wall..see how they clever they think they are when they get a bull-bar rammed up their shitty little piss-pot cars by a Cunt who wants to see them scream as they are shunted at 70mph into a solid barrier.

Nominated by: Dick Foxchaser-Fiddler
(ISAC’s Road Safety Officer)

Crispin Blunt

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Crispin Blunt is a CINO cunt. Surrey’s PCC stood on a platform of defending women’s spaces, denying access to dress wearing degenerates pretending to be women while sporting a beard and an erection. Her reward? To be subjected to the usual, death and rape threats from the usual suspects; culminating in the disciplinary oversight of her local Police Committee.

She was found blameless, but despite the wholehearted support of Surrey residents she found herself threatened and ear-bent by Blunt, an enthusiastic tonguer of the Stonewall hole. When she wouldn’t cave, he reported her again, assuring her of another round of pointless misery.

Why is Blunt masquerading as a tory? Surely one of the I’m-Fucked-in-the-Head-and-Knit-my-Own-Yoghurt parties would welcome him with spread cheeks? I give you Crispin Blunt, piss-weasel and knob-sock…

https://unherd.com/2022/01/inside-the-tory-trans-civil-war/

Nominated by: International Cunt of Mystery

Reaction Videos

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A quick but necessary cunting for ‘reaction’ videos, people who film themselves reacting to film trailers then posting that reaction to youtube, especially ‘Americans react to…’

Nobody gives a fuck about these specimens having the same performed reaction as every other cunt who posts such videos. It’s social media narcissism taken to the extreme.

When I used Facebook (last decade), it would always be the same dopey, soppy cunts sharing this crap to his/her feed, inviting people to like and join in the weird world of online therapy culture. The ‘be nice’ depressive, Lib Dem-voting, prosecco and rose quaffing ex-MILFs and softies, the hipsters, the geeks, the banter-free shells of hen-pecked, ever-so-earnest recent husbands who were stuck at home because of the mental issues of the new wife. Where’s the warranty on the fucking thing?

The men on local gossip pages. The male feminists crying because another pale little dweeb posted a video of himself also crying over the trailer for Sonic the Hedgehog.or Star Wars: The Nail in the Coffin

Can the soft cunts who post this mawkish, narcissistic dog manure and those who gormlessly share and ‘like’ instead ‘react’ to lead shot embedding itself in their tissues. That would be highly entertaining.

Get fucked you numb, soy-soaked cunts.

Nominated by: Cuntamus Prime