Dragon’s Den [3]

Dragons Den – it’s just like Eistein being installed in the patent house.

Half of the fuckers who come in get a ribbing saying you haven’t done this and that. And then Deborah Meadan offers 95% for everything because she is an actual dragon who just jumps on a good opportunity whilst the inventor has a massive black dildo up their arsehole. I hope one of these fuckers get sued hard soon. State TV giving private business ideas to the world.

What a load of shit. The only person who is real on here is Peter Jones. A complete non cunt. Although he is still doing business meetings on the beeeebb.

Nominated by: Clown Clown the Cunty Man

87 thoughts on “Dragon’s Den [3]

  1. Just get on the telly. Deliberately fuck up your pitch, & wind them all up. Bad publicity can be good publicity. You have been seen by millions! If the idea is any good, you may make yourself a fortune, without their cut.

  2. You’d have to be off your tiny mind to let one of these venal, narcissistic ubercunts get a slice of your business. It would be safer jumping into a tank full of crocodiles.

  3. Bunch of cunts. Some of the contestants think it’s the fucking X Factor – crying and talking about their fucking ‘journey’

    That raddled old hag Meaden is full of green, hypocritical bullshit.
    ‘Is it organic? Is it sustainable? Can it be recycled as a lentil beanbag?’

    Another fucker says ‘I can get this made in China for 2P’

    We now have a token stabber on who talks about fucking Instagramming whatever the fuck that means.

    Then there’s the cross eyed arsebandit that introduces it.

    Worra load of cunt.

    • Evan Davies, so fucking patronizing with his voiceover too, boils my piss.

      Usually goes something like this:

      Pitching cunt:. ‘so dragons I’d now like to invite you to sample our tasty and nutritious dung beetle snacks.’

      Dragon cunt: ‘i’d rather eat the shit it dined on for it’s last meal.’

      Cross eyed count: ‘the dragons have some reservations about the nutritional content’.

    • It used to be pretty funny when it first started years ago – they would have eccentrics on there, like an old chap who had found a way to make a rotary clothes line turn round when there wasn’t any wind, and dedicated it to his late wife, or another chap who had made a handy lid type thing to cover the end of a half cucumber or salami, thereby avoiding a food hygiene crisis.

  4. Always though Theo TheFoetus was a shrewd investor, and back in the day I totally fancied Rachel Elnaugh. I dont like James Caan, the actor is better. I have an idea to take on this programme, a mind-blowing idea, I just have to build it first.

  5. Can’t comment directly as I’ve never this programme.
    However I’ll happily take Clown’s word for it that it is indeed a sack o’ cack.

      • Debs Meadon is a shoe in for fruity gas encasement, so yes, this time next year Ron….we’ll be back here ranting furiously…..

      • I’d invest in that, Ron.
        I’ve always been curious as to what a fart skin looks like.
        Also, please indicate what you’ll actually use the fart skins for.

    • After years (minutes) of intense research and devlopment work I think I’m on the verge of cracking the problem of striped paint, two brushes, two paint pots and a fucking laggy band!

  6. This crock of shite went past its sell by date about 10 series ago. Its just theatre now. The whole premise seemingly being, some rich counts ritually humiliate some cunt who thinks he’s invented a better way to knit yoghurt or a carbon neutral big black dildo. Any non-narcissist with a serious business proposition and plan will have figured out they should give this shite a wide berth.

    It even has that Uber cunt Evan Davies as presenter to top off its cuntitude.

    Harry and Enfield sent it up beautifully in their sketch. Paul Whitehouse’s portrayal of Evan Davies as Nosferatu was inspired.

    • When you have an idea that might, just might make money, the first thing you do is take it to a lawyer, preferably a copyright lawyer, patent expert, then a bank manager, ask for a loan, then make a prototype or brochure, etc and you should make a YouTube video and see who’s interested. By that stage, you’ll have a squad of serious-minded people who support you – or not. Why you would then take it to cunts on a TV show who want 75% of the business is weird. I think many of the people who go on that show are just weak and lazy and want a quick Del Boy million to show up their Boycie mates.

    • Oh yeah, Pasta Evangelists! They got bought up for 40 million quid last year. Those Dragons look like joyless cunts, the type who do business while on the beach surrounded by people singing and shagging, while they are on their stacks of laptops, tablets, phones and Filofax. Joyless cunts.

  7. Not a lot I remember from my youth, but I do remember my dad taking me to London Zoo and there was an article in the aquarium section about a bloke who invented shoes made from fish skin, which was a wasted by-product. Apparently, they were great until it rained, and then they went all sloppy and stunk of fish – or was that about Katy Price?

    • Fish scales are used to make Guinness, right? Or they used to. Weird way to make a brew.

      • Not fish scales. Fish swim bladders. Were used to clear the brew. Other materíals probably used now as vegans wont touch beer with animal bits in even though they are filtered out.

    • That would be some feet of engineering .

      Good to see you picking up Bertie’s slack , Miserable.

      • Dunno Wanksock.
        Just stopped posting.

        He was a good poster,
        I really liked him.
        He wouldn’t take shit off anyone and was fond of a pun!

      • Maybe ISAC should start a MIA or in memoriam section. Keep vigil for a sign from the other side.

        Perhaps any former cunters that have paid the ferryman can tell us what it’s like on that side? Infested with cunts is my guess, as the dead pool will testify.

        Incidentally I had settled on ‘Bertie Blunt’s Parrot’ as my ISAC nom de guerre but after due diligence discovered there was already a Bertie Blunt so it became a toss-up between ‘Mickey’s monkey spunk moped’ or Berkshire Huntmaster.

        I suspect DCI Gene is recovering from hot scalding piss burns after a vaccine debate.

      • I’ve left a note, to be opened by my favourite son in law, to log on and inform you all, in the event of my demise. It’s with my will, so it won’t be overlooked.
        However, as intimated in a previous post, this will be approximately 6 years after my actual death.

      • I imagine they will go through emotions similar to those Jimmy Savile’s family went through when they discovered the awful posthumous truth of the subhuman depths of depravity that he plumbed, when they discover the same of their kindly old mild mannered father in law.

        You might find yourself exhumed JP.

      • Evening Jack 👍

        You well?
        Remember that cunter awhile back ‘Telegram for mongo’?
        Hehehe 😀
        He was fuckin puddled,
        But funny as fuck.

        He got binned though,
        Upset everyone,
        One night he replied to every post ‘gas chamber’.
        One minute he was lucid and thoughtful
        The next off ranting 😀😀

      • Evening, MNC. I’m very well, thanks. 👍
        You ok ?
        I think some folk come on here for divelment,
        just seeing how far they can push it.
        Or they’re barmpot’s.
        Telegram for mongo…..
        Probably Jacob Rees Mogg 😀

      • Anymore of those fish puns and there will be no plaice for you here.
        Sorry I really dredged that one up, trawling the depths.
        See what I did there?

      • How many fish can you get into a pair of tights?


        Two eels, two soles and a wet plaice

  8. Is this shit on the excellent BBC?
    Be careful watching it!
    Next news it will be soy latte and cross dressing.

    The fucking appalling cunts.

  9. I’ve heard Peter Jones is an ok bloke, but there are some massive egos amongst some of the others. And who the fuck is the token rapper/architect kidding? Making out he’s some sort of entrepreneur when he doesn’t even know what the word means. And who’s the lantern jawed geordie bint?

  10. My invention would sell well, especially in this current ‘climate change’ world of renewable ‘environmentally friendly’ energy sources. Just need a few grand, you can be a partner. Any takers?

    • What is it Diablo?
      Its not racist is it?
      Is it offensive in any way?

      Because if so im interested.😁

      • Im trying to invent a material that when it comes into contact with water ignites into flames.

        Im also trying to bid on the contract for BLM clothing range.

      • Impregnate the clothing fibres with finely powdered zirconium…maybe add some finely powdered calcium carbide, sell the products in vacuum sealed bags, that should do the trick…

      • No. Nothing offensive to anyone. It will make 1000s every year, with minimal maintenance, and have the added benefit of 3ucking up overpriced electricity. I suppose its ‘green’ energy too.

      • Green energy?

        Thought maybe a ray gun,
        Or a hybrid between a rottweiler and a spider,

        Possibly a way of cloning Bernard Manning.

        Can it be used as a weapon or sex toy?

  11. None of those dragon cunts made their cash by being nice people.

    Somewhere in their ‘success’ stories are endless tales of ruthlessly exploiting and pissing all over the working classes to fill their own bank accounts.

    Now they just ruthlessly exploit and piss all over the working classes because some TV production company is paying them to do so.

    By the way, Duncan Bannatyne is an absolute uber cunt.

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