Weeds


What can you about these bastard things. Doesn’t matter what you do to keep your garden tidy these fuckers will find a way of getting in and turning it into a right old shit-heap (am trying hard not to resort to the Travellers analogy!)

You can try various weed killers, some of which do work for a time. But there is a certain inevitability that these very same weeds will find a way of coming back, this time far more resistant to ordinary domestic weed killers and only industrial-strength one will have any hope of finishing them off.

Weeds can even find their way through cracks between driveway flagstones, steps and slabs if given the opportunity. They have the ability of sprouting in a variety of unlikely places in one’s garden and its sometimes a losing battle trying to keep them at bay.

On the other hand with some flowers and plants you need to carefully look after them, nurture them, place them in a certain part of the garden, feed them the right kind of fertiliser. And if you’re lucky they might just bloom.

But with weeds, they’re like the chavs of the gardening world, always managing to survive with little or no attention. They just appear out of nowhere, messing up and devaluing the place and turning it into a no-go area , like a boatful of dinghy-riders on the Kent coast.

What’s needed is a good flame-thrower and toast the bastards once and for all!

Nominated by: Technocunt

Lenny Henry [10]


Lenny Henry (again) – the mithering cunt has got himself a part as a Hobbit in the new series Lord of the Rings – Rings of Power.

The character is called Sadoc Burrows – I’ve read the books often and can’t recall such a character, but he has seemingly been created to compensate for the lack of diversity in Tolkien’s books. The same books that had elves, dwarves, hobbits, wizards, orcs, walking and talking trees, humans, trolls and Christ knows what else.

Anyway, Lenny says it is great for these 1000 years old tales to be positively reimagined by todays storytellers. For information, The Hobbit was first published in 1937 and The Lord of the Rings in 1955. Suffice to say I shall be giving this pile of shite a miss.

MSN Link.

Nominated by: Mary Hinge

Abusing Police Then Complaining About The Consequences


NYPD blue Vs Harlem Globe trotters.

NY police make a arrest on a murderer armed with a gun.
A crowd of nosey cunts who should be at work intervene.
Spitting, trying to stop the officers arrest.
Then the murderers girlfriend runs into the melee,
Slapping at the officers.

A detective kendo Kinsey has had enough and punches the daft bitch out.
Then handcuffs her and arrests her,
She’s lost a lot of the chippy attitude.
Funny how a good punch can do that!

Now her halfwit parents are complaining,
Saying she was just a little girl and the cop should be investigated.

Luckily , NYPD seem to be made of sterner stuff than most,
And standing by their detective.

I hope he broke her jaw the numb bitch,
If her boyfriend had managed to get his gun free the simpletons of Harlem might of found a bullet wound as a price of interference in things that are nothing to do with them.

Daily Fail Link.

Nominated by: Miserable northern cunt

To Bigot or Not To Bigot


The definition of a bigot is lost on this one:

A recent story:

Kent Online Story.

A village has reacted with anger over a poster in a church noticeboard stating: “We don’t celebrate Pride, we preach Christ crucified.”

OK you would think- that is the churches opinion and everybody should surely be allowed an opinion- after all there’s always two sides isn’t there?

No so apparently- one of the locals in particular got their already brain-washed 4 year old son to make his own ‘pride associated’ poster that now conforms to how those with the opposite opinion think the church should think. In a statement of totally irony, the mother of the 4 year old stated:

‘I was shocked and disgusted to have a bigoted message being publicly shown,” she said. “I decided to have a chat with my kids about it and my eldest Alfred said he wanted to colour a rainbow with ‘Be Kind’ on it’

Hmmmm….so the church has an opposite view to this mother, and this mother is so intolerant of that opposing view, she decides to censor it as she doesn’t agree with it. In my book, that’s being a very big bigot Mrs, so go and fuck yourself you stupid cunt….and take that brain washed soppy cunt of a son with you

Nominated by: Chuff Chugger