I’m cunting birds. Not the gorgeous long legged and fully fun-bagged bird we know and love, but the feathered bastards that roam freely.

Swimbo and myself sat watching the new Attenborough series, as it’s UK based so little chance of seeing a starving darkie as , as far as I can see, it wasn’t filmed in Birmingham, Leicester, Londonistan or the whole of West Yorkshire. We’re nice and comfy, watching the lovely creatures that live on our sceptered isle, and mostly, they are being hunted and torn apart by fucking birds.

Little Puffins being bullied by gulls for Sand eels, owls hunting voles, which are rare nowadays. Eagles hunting geese etc. You get the drift. The cunts are ruthless, they have an evil glint in their beady eyes and you get sense of what dinosaurs hunting would be like. And they nick chips off you at the seaside.

Nominated by Bertram Cuntatious DCO.

Have you noticed how bad some people are at their jobs? There are a lot of incompetent people about.

Most incompetence is infuriating but banal. It’s Postman Prat, who in spite of being told, persists in delivering your mail to No 10 XX Square when you live at No10 XX Road. It’s the pharmacy that repeatedly loses your prescription. It’s the Council pen-pusher who promises to ‘look into the matter and get back’, but never does. You’ll all have bumped your heads against this kind of twatitude at some point.

But once in a while you come across a piece of incompetence that is truly staggering, and which can have life-changing consequences for someone. Come with me across the pond to the good ol’ US of A and I’ll elaborate.

In 2022, police in Colorado pulled over a pickup at night on a back road. The truck driver was a young woman suspected by the rozzers of possible involvement in a ‘road rage’ incident. The police positioned a vehicle behind hers, and she was duly forced to exit at gunpoint, made to kneel, handcuffed, and locked in the cop car while the officers searched her car for possible evidence,

So far, so mundane, you’ll be thinking; just yet another such episode in Anywhere, USA. But… there’s a but. So intent were the cops on their search that none of them actually noticed that the locked police vehicle with the suspect inside was parked square on a rail track. Failed to notice, that is, until a desperate ‘whooo whooo’ from the train alerted them to the fact, seconds before it smashed headlong into the vehicle and sent it careering for several hundred yards.

Miraculously the young woman survived, but incurred head injuries and numerous broken bones. The cops involved have since been charged on several counts, and in true, time honoured American fashion, the young lady has ‘lawyered up’ and is looking to sue all and sundry for about half a billion dollars or so.

Okay, anybody can make a mistake. I know I’ve made my fair share. But Lord above, how can people who are so inept, so stupid, so lacking in everyday common sense, be put in positions over others which can have such drastic consequences?

I put it to you that this a case of world class incompetence brought to you by world class cunts. You couldn’t make it up. Sadly, you don’t have to.

Youtube

Nominated by Ron Knee.

This past week has seen World Athletics grow a pair and ban tranny athletes from female competition. One of the bigwigs, Seb Coe has rather worryingly said, “We’re not saying no forever,” but it is at least some light relief from this clown world we live in. They are only banning those who’ve gone through male puberty too, but it should pretty much stop some third rate male club athletes from winning all the women’s events.

Well, pool diver (that’s an actual sport?) Tom ‘film me knitting not the event’ Daley isn’t happy. Despite being a gay, he is a man with male athletic attributes. Imagine if we had a third sex? That was bigger, faster and stronger than males. I bet he’d be kicking off if, during his event, some 3rd sex cunt did 25 somersaults with twist and entered the pool without a splash.

Here’s a direct quote from the article below to save time if you can’t be arsed reading all of it.

“‘Olympic diving champion Tom Daley said he was “furious” at Fina’s decision to stop transgender athletes from competing in women’s elite events, saying: “Anyone that’s told that they can’t compete or can’t do something they love just because of who they are, it’s not on.”‘

Well Tommy luv, I don’t want to see lasses who’ve trained and worked hard for Olympic glory, getting obliterated by some 6 foot tranny chancer who barely has to train to beat the real ladies.

Fuck that, you bellend.

Bbc sport

Nominated by CuntyBollocks.

If you are a taxpayer and get yourself out of bed in the morning to go to work then I’m afraid what you will read next is going to boil your piss:

I’m a retail manager in a small business and sell mountain bikes, amongst other things. Sometimes we sell bikes via 0% finance. Today a man in his late theories came in with a slob of a girl in her late teens, who was also carrying a teddy. He proceeded to want to buy a bike that cost £800 but wanted credit, except for the slob teenager with a Teddy nothing is amiss.
Credit checks involve a few questions, after a few questions I have gleaned from him he has four kids and lives in housing association, he then describes his occupation as a carer for his daughter. It then comes to the question “what is your gross annual income?”. The answer; £38k! All my being wished the credit to be denied, which it duly was. His response was “oh, it always does that. Will you hold the bike and I’ll keep paying instalments?” “No” “Oh, I’m no good at saving” and off he goes.

This individual does fuck all, gets a house on the social and £38k, too fucking thick to realise trying to get credit and failing will hit your credit rating even more and can’t even budget to save £800 for from his vast hand-out, whilst raising 4 more useless creations. The aforementioned slob was not in a wheelchair, he said he was given this money to push his daughter in a wheelchair, so I can only assume they are all a drain on society. This is by no means a dig at people in wheelchairs, but it is outrageous this amount of money is squandered.

Some useless bastard is given a house on the social and £38k of taxpayers money on top to support them, to get £38k you need to be on about £52k pre tax. How many people slog their guts off to be given less. Madness.

Gov.uk

Nominated by Fortress Cuntimus.

Has just shown himself to be a massive Cunt, and perverse at the very least.

Fuck me we have enough religious leaders and followers that have subjected boys to sexual deviance in the worlds two largest followed religions in the past.

Now another previously unknown, to me at least , religion has a leader that asks boys to suck his tongue ?.

Disgusting ? old twat and now a Cunt

BBC News

Nominated by Everyonesacunt

And sloppy seconds provided by Freddie the Frog:

Fucking hell, the gayness is everywhere!

This old cunt has apologised for kissing some young boy on the mouth and asking him to “suck my tongue”. Dirty fucking bastard.

So the 87 year old spiritual leader of the Buddhists is now a bender who likes young boys. Of course we’ve never seen that sort of thing in other religions have we? Oh no……it’s a complete fucking surprise but let’s not judge ok?

Let’s be kind. Love not hate and all that bollocks ok? You know it makes sense.