Petrol Station Shoppers

I want to nominate people who do their weekly shopping at the petrol station. They don’t buy fuel, but go up to the cashier with a basket full of overpriced crap and then stand there for a further ten minutes deciding how much money to waste on lottery tickets.

What happened to the good old fashioned petrol stations? Fill up, go to the small kiosk, pay the wizened old geezer in there, get your green shield stamps and fuck off. Those were the days…..

Nominated by: Mystic Maven 

37 thoughts on “Petrol Station Shoppers

  1. Good cunting MM,
    The prices they charge for m+s food in the BP stations on the way aaaaht of London is ridiculous.
    They never sell any of it and I buy it all up at 80% off and store in the freezer.
    Cunts who fill up then spend 10 minutes walking abaaaaaht buying food not only disrupt the flow in and aaaaht if the petrol station but also cause the social distancing to go aaaaht the window.
    The women who decide to do their make up whilst some cunt is waiting before fucking off the forecourt are worthy of a bolt on cunting.

    • Good to see you back, B&WC.
      I trust you’ve been celebrating the Pool winning the title?

      • Cheers Norman, Yep celebrated the win…a bit weird with all the Coronavirus delay etc but a great season none the less. Good to see Man U looking a decent side again…that Fernandes looks a proper player. For all the rivalry etc the league needs strong LFC and Man U teams.

      • You support the Scousers and then say this: ‘Good to see Man U looking a decent side again’. You faaaaahkin’ cyaaaant!

    • We’ve touched upon naughty substances before, I believe B&WC?
      Well, I tried a certain amount of “fungi” shall we say, a few days ago. Well, truffles to be more exact. Have you ever indulged in such things?
      It was sweet as fuck, really weird and hard to describe.

      • Never tried the ‘Fungi’ tyoe but have tried the Tab type when young and found it ‘interesting and not like much else’. Got to be in the right environment though.

      • It’s worth a revisit! I got a truffle posted from Holland (28 euros delivered) and having done half a few days back, I’m going to do the other half this afternoon. I might and have a trip wank and see what happens…maybe I’ll see flower petals shooting out of my knob!

  2. The only thing I ever buy in a petrol station is fuel. The cunts rob you blind for anything else. Does anyone know why they sell fuel in fractions of a penny? Is there any other product on the market that is sold this way? I’m fucked if I can think of one. Next time I go I’ll put exactly 1 litre in and ask for my 0.1 penny change and then kick up a fucking stink if I don’t get it.

    • The ways which the denizens of this site find to piss off their fellow man is a source of constant amusement.

    • Put in a tenner and a pennys worth, pay in cash and tell the cunts you only have the tenner and their pump ran over.

  3. Sensible hat on, alas…I’m pretty sure the garages make almost nothing on selling fuel, so without the shop bit, there’d be no point in them being open at all. But they’re still cunts. Surely we can all get our fuel from the self-serve in supermarkets?
    Although there is a certain satisfaction in calling “come on, come on, hurry it up” from the back of the queue, causing wankers to turn round and glare at you.

    • These old dozy cunts are always fuckin about in front of me when im filling up the van.
      Might sound harsh but I think they should have a separate queue for this cunts, who buys their dinner from a garage anyway?
      Failing that someone who speeds them up with a cattle prod,
      Im a busy man!!!
      Get the fuck out of my way you fumbling cunts im the face of busy industry!!😁

    • If you aredoing a high mileage don’t buy supermarket fuel as it lacks additives that the branded fuels have. It cost me £1,300 for new fuel injectors on my Mondeo about 5 years ago. I also find if you put premium fuels in then you tend to get about 3-5% extra miles from a tank, so that tends to be worth it.

      • I used to use an octane-booster with added zinc and molybdenum.
        Restores compression , and the car runs nice and grungy.

        But when moving up from an MX5 to a 350Z – I now use either Shell V-power , or BP Ultimate. The clean-burning fuel is kinder to the engine , and with careful driving , petrol consumption is improved 30% on a steady 80mph run.

  4. Its the same when your in a pub. You just want to order a pint, but the cunt in front is ordering the entire pub menu.

  5. Talking of petrol stations. The cunts who refuse to join a queue and hover about near the entrance to see where they can get served first. Blocking the entrance and causing chaos. Drove past one one day and got served before him, sprayed his fizzy piss he just bought all over my car. Fucking hard man, I hope crashed and burned, cunt.

    • I’m with you on that. It drives me fucking mad! Just pick a queue and wait. These tossers want beheading and their heads put on a spike at the pumps to deter other twats. They are no better than paedophiles.

  6. They say patience is a virtue but whoever wrote that was full of shite and probably one of these petrol station malingerers.
    Patience isnt a virtue, its irritating and piss boiling,
    I’ll tell you whats a virtue,

    Hurrying the fuck up, not rooting about in your handbag for your purse.
    Thats a virtue.
    Not getting in the way and dithering about is another.
    These people should of been hit more as children.

    • That was me my old son. I drive in and
      sit in a queue. If one is stuck behind a gas station shopper, such is life. Cunts who have to be first because their miserable fucking life is more important…..

  7. I did actually attempt to make the purchase of a brake light bulb at my local petrol station recently. You know, a useful motoring accessory. Did they have any? Did they fuck. It wasn’t that they’d sold out, they just didn’t stock them. But they did appear to have an extensive range of tampons and shampoo. Just the job. Cunts

  8. A worthy cunting. There are some right cunts in this world but top of the pile are petrol station ditherers, oh, and caravanners.

    • Agreed Sarge.
      Whether it’s a lower-middle class, smug turd thinking they’re roughing it, a family of overgrown wobblies having a barbecue or some gammon-faced farmer with a threadbare jumper and half a dozen teeth shitting in a bucket, all caravanners are cunts.

  9. Good nom. How many valuable minutes of our lives have we lost waiting for cunts who leave their cars parked at the pumps while they do what seems like a weekly shop?

    They are supposed to move into a parking space but never do. Selfish bastards.

    And garage shops are about as good value as buying tickets from a tout.

    I might buy a Sunday paper cos they can’t over price it but that’s all.

  10. I don’t understand these fuckers that spend £30 on shit at the petrol station when they can buy it for half the price at the supermarket the fucking station is attached to.

  11. Pull up, fill up, pay, go. Safer than cycling – I was chased by a sartorially elegant maniac in a BMW recently shouting “Laaarvly – wait while I get the Audi you cycling c*nt”!) – terrifying it was, and the petrol station didn’t even sell vegan soy lattes! 😢

      • Evening B&WC – good to see you back Sir! I am busy trying to make enough enough money to buy my island and machine gun nest/brace of cannons! Need 15 grand for some machinery, when I have that together it will allow me to produce stuff instead of just selling it and the margins are a lot better – I need the money to pay off Sir Fiddler following a libel case involving a rugby club grizzly bear mascot and two waitresses “misappropriated by a well refreshed scoundrel” which I may have mistakenly alleged was DF in a strongly worded letter to the Times! 🤣

  12. You can´t fill your own car in petrol stations in Brazil as it is against a law which “protects” workers´ rights. There are now an estimated half a million people doing a dead-end job that requires few skills and is an added financial burden on the filling stations and customers. A station can be fined and even closed down if it does not have a guy to fill your tank.

    There are millions in other unskilled “jobs”: car parking attendants – called “valets” believe it or not; elevator operators; pizza delivery guys; along with criminal scum who offer to “look after” your car if you park it in the street. Refuse to pay and your car will be wrecked or stolen.

    No wonder Brazil, with all its enormous natural and human resources, is nowhere near catching up with developed countries in terms of competiveness.

    • Whilst you might expect such jobs to exist in places such as Brazil, I was amazed to encounter similar practices in Canada. Everything said twice, once for the civilised the other for the cheese chewers, people to help you negotiate the dangerous drop of 9 inches from a bus to the pavement, I was glad to leave the place.

  13. When old people pay for something in a shop and it comes to £27.40p the old cunts always pull out a coin bag and start to count out pennies to give to the cashier and it turns out that they haven’t enough loose change but have 3 ten pound notes in their wallet, and fumble through their other pocket for the exact money really boils my piss, ffs

  14. What’s even more annoying is that these shopping cunts come back to their car, dump their shite in the boot, get into the car and then fucks about for what seems like half-an-hour before pissing off!

    Oh, and when you pull up to a petrol pump, you see a sign attached to the nozzle saying “out of order”. Why put it there for fuck’s sake? Why not make it more clearer from a distance so you could avoid going to the pump and wasting my time having to start over!

    • The bastard is pulling up, getting out, opening the cap, getting the pump and THEN being told the payment system is out of order and you have to go in and pay behind the 20 people that are already in there doing the weekly shop for Eritrea.

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