One for the ISAC horn section, after hearing about this daft strumpet.

This brain donor has been working as an ‘adult entertainer’ (whore in old money) on OnlyFans. She says she makes about a grand a month after ‘falling out with her boss’. Yes, she seems trustworthy, getting her flabby arse and tramp stamps out for muggy virgins on a dodgy website.

But I digress. She decided it would be a great idea to take some slutty photos inside a cave for her ‘fans’. Well, it was in a cove and the tide came in.

Sadly, the RNLI had a boat spare from ferrying the dinghy riders on this afternoon and managed to rescue her from Davy Jones’s locker in the nick of time.

I wasn’t going to cunt the daft bint until I saw she’d taken grinning selfies during the fucking rescue.

Bill the silly spunk trumpet for the costs. And loads of tats on a bird is worse than genocide anyway, so a double cunting is warranted.

And I wouldn’t touch her with yours an’ all.

Daily Fail

Nominated by CuntyBollocks.

In this instance, Nike and Bud Light.

Nike, for using a tranny to market women’s sportswear:

Bud Light, for using the same tranny to push their shitty so called beer.

The company has been losing a billion dollars a day since they stuck the ugly tranny on their beer cans.

OK, it’s a drink for puffs, but even puffs have their limits.

Daily Fail

Nominated by Minge Juice Bottler.

is a cunt, isn’t he.

? Testiculous-ridiculous!

This multi-millionaire one-trick pony who dresses up as a boy-wizard and says his lines woodenly is now giving advice to children. He has told trannîe kids (?) that adults who are concerned are simply condescending.

If kids want to stick their hand in a fire, parents should stop being condescending. If kids want to run at a wall with a trolley, parents should stop being condescending. Similarly, parents should back off if kids want to have a mastectomy or cut off their beanbag.

? Bollocks-offius!

Radcliffe, who has no children, has taken the opposite view from JK Rowling who created his cosplay character. Perhaps she could make a spell to make him understand biology. Alternatively, make a spell to let him have a hit film after all his duds. At the very least, she could use some of her clever magic lingo for a spell to make him shut the hufflepuff up.
?
?Hamza-Yousafius?

Stick it up your hairy pooter.
-Θ-Θ-

Daily Fail

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous.

I’ve already cunted this muppet, but thought the horn section might appreciate an update.

Seems to me like her lips aren’t the only thing she likes huge. Maybe it’s the camera angle ( no David Bailey), but I could hardly see her newly massive gob for her newly massive tits.

What next, a big arse to rival that of the woman who looks like she has a hundred weight of walnuts in her keks.

Jeez!

Daily Mirror

Nominated by Jeezum Priest.

I would like to nominate that incompetent cunt Andrew Bailey, the governor of the Bank of England.
Just as I am about to retire and thinking Mrs Wanksock and I have enough money to see out my remaining years, inflation hits. Suddenly any money I have only seems to go half as far and any assets you may have seem to be worth less than you may have thought.

The everyday items, such as the ubiquitous pint of milk, is now about 30%, higher in cost than 18 months ago. Plan A was to downsize on the house and put a bit of money in the bank but we can’t seem to sell it despite 2 price drops.

Anyone who has done just basic economics or even has just a tiny bit of common sense knows that there are time lags between implementing an economic policy and its’ effect. When the government started borrowing money in vast quantities (whilst already running a large deficit) to fund Covid policies then the immediate response from the Bank of England should have been to raise interest rates by at least 2%, any bloody fool could have seen that. Now we have inflation running at over 10% .Andrew’s response is that it is my fault for retiring to early as I am only 69. The man is an absolute cunt. He only had one job, to control inflation and he has failed miserably. If he had any sense of decency it would be a bottle of whisky and a revolver.

Youtube

Nominated by Wanksock.