I enjoy a good musical, and there have been some crackers over the years. You’ve got classics such as ‘West Side Story’ and ‘Guys and Dolls’. You’ve got rock operas like ‘Tommy’ and Evita’. You’ve got ‘tribute’ musicals such as ‘Buddy’ and ‘Jersey Boys’. There’s pretty much something for everyone.

But heck as like. Producers and fast buck merchants have really come to see the public’s appetite for song and dance as a cash cow, and these days, it seems that just about any film, play or tv show, however unsuitable it seems on paper, is ripe for getting itself turned into a musical. Get some cunt to throw some tunes at it, and however piss poor the songs are, the public will flock in.

Have a look at some of the stuff on offer at the moment. ‘Only Fools and Horses; the Musical’. Just add the magic words ‘…the musical’ to this selection; ‘Heathers’,
‘Back to the Future’, Groundhog Day’, ‘The Third Man’, ‘Pretty Woman’. Would you believe it, there’s even a ‘Great British Bake Off Musical’ ffs.

The latest off the production line is ‘Titanic (yes you guessed it) ; the Musical’. I suppose that it’s got a better chance of staying afloat than its infamous namesake, but I doubt that it’ll be seen as the new ‘Oliver!’ in years to come. Of course I haven’t seen any of this latest batch off what appears to to be a never-ending production line, but that’s because I’m not coughing up anything north of £50 to watch something that most definitely will not prove to be the another ‘Cabaret’.

I’m just surprised that some enterprising soul hasn’t come up with ‘The Exorcist; the Musical’ yet (‘a real head turner’, The Guardian) or ‘The Longest Day; the Musical’ (‘life’s a beach, then you die’, Variety). Blimey, I’d better keep quiet. I wouldn’t want to give some chancer any ideas.

Youtube

Nominated by Ron Knee.

How about a democratic – and certainly very liberal – cunting for that vacuous looking arsehole, Davey.

Long a great admirer of “Progressive” (i.e. Labour) politics, this des[erate chancer sees his only hope of “power”is to crawl up the arsehole of Dame Kweer and stay there. He is nine months late, but like the Dame last year, he yesterday vouchsafed on a radio broadcast that women can have a penis. No doubt some of the old dogs in his party, like that dreadful Moran woman, has convinced him of the authenticity of men in drag:

One question – if you want a Labour government why not vote for it and forget this middleman?.

telegraph

Nominated by W.C. Boggs.
I wonder if his wife is one of these women with a penis or not? C.A.

 
Today, (June 8) I read about the Syrian ‘refugee’ who decided to stab babies and toddlers in their pushchairs on a kids’ playground in France.

Within an hour or two, French politicians, who mostly seem to have facilitated such attacks with their insane policies, held a minute’s silence.

With the exception of a few of those ‘evil right wingers’ like Le Pen, these fuckers have some gall. And yes, our lot would do the same.

It’s not your silence we want. We want your fucking rage and to sort this fucking mess out.

But no, let’s put on our sad faces and sing ‘Don’t look back in anger’, before initiating more policies which produce similar results.

We are led by weasels and cunts.

Sky news

Nominated by Cuntybollocks.

The Lady of Shallot sent into storage’. I knew they would come for ‘The Lady of Shallot’. A beautiful picture see. We can’t have that.

Yes my fantasy. See you were tortured on the rack, dragged to Tyburn, the place of execution. Hung then cut down, then dismembered and your innards cut out and ‘burned before your sight’. If you were still alive after all that you were usually beheaded to finish the job, but sometimes you were ‘rehanged’ to do it.

That is the punishment I would reserve for the perpetrators of the new ‘rehang’ at the Tate.
I think it was Rossetti who on seeing the work of a young Burne-Jones’ said ‘welcome to fairy land’.
And poor John Warehouse. This is the second time his work has been cancelled. ‘Hylas and the Nymphs’ was taken down from Manchester Art gallery because if it’s ‘objectification’ if women.

Poor John Waterhouse. He was late to pre Raphaelite movement. I think he took the best of the movement but also took it was influenced by other Victorian paintings.
‘Welcome to fairy land’.
What do we say now? ‘Welcome to fuck all’.
I look at the Lady of Shallot now. I have a print of it in the our bedroom. she has such a wistfully look. As though all beauty has passed away.

telegraph

Nominated by Miles Plastic.
With you on this one Miles, fucking philistines C.A.

This is a piece from the BBC website newspaper review this morning (10th May):

“The Daily Telegraph says a new apprenticeship scheme is being launched to allow school leavers to work as doctors without a traditional medical degree. They would get training straight after their A-Levels. The paper says the scheme will begin this autumn in a bid to tackle NHS staff shortages. The chief executive of NHS England describes it as a “radical new approach”.”

Can you imagine it?. In addition to having pharmacies over-prescribing antibiotics, instead of GPs, meaning they become less effective, and Lady Nugee will have to take three courses of the things to deal with the boil on her arse, now they want keen young amateurs to practice, straight out of school, to be amateur medics.

At one time playing doctors and nurses was something most kids got over as toddlers, now it seems little Jemima, who loves watching Casualty with mummy and daddy on Saturday nights in Islington, so wants to be a doctor that she will be given the opportunity for the laying on of hands before she has gained any sort of medical qualification. The mnd boggles! Is Sunak deliberately trying to make himself unemployed?

telegraph

Nominated by W. C. Boggs.