A ‘watch what you’re fucking doing’ cunting for twats who are always looking at their phones and/or have ear buds jammed in their heads in busy and dangerous environments.

npr.org

Theres a time and a place for listening to podcasts and music, it’s not walking about a busy town centre, crossing roads, riding bikes and e-shooters on roads or on a building site.

Your car (listening only), house or exercising in a gym or outin a park or countryside/bridleway yes, but being distracted while operating machinery or around power tools, telehandlers, forklifts and excavators is fucking stupid.

If you find the job boring to the point you have to listen to audible or podcasts then look for something else.

If your job is dull and repetive but does not rely on communication, machines or using hot/caustic liquid then fair enough, but there’s a lot of people dicing with death because they were distracted crossing a road, on their scooter, operating machinery or working in the vicinity of heavy vehicles.
Getting hit by a JCB bucket because you were standing gormlessly, fiddling with your fucking iphone to skip a track or rewind to something you missed when you should be watching the big fucking yellow thing made of steel will get you killed or hospitalised.

It’s bad enough having younger blokes taking breaks every 5 minutes to check their phone, even without earphones.

One lad who worked with an old colleague did that, walking over to his car, scrolling through his phone, laughing to himself.
Everyone downed tools and looked at him.
The bloke running the site walked over and the kid barely noticed until just a few feet away.

He was told to jump in his car and fuck off. No more work for him.

There are a few jobs where looking at phones and sticking earbuds in will get you killed, in an ambulance or fucked off out of work.

Nominated by Cuntamus Prime.

 
It will come as no, or little surprise, to you to read that the Hoc is infested by rats.
We’ve known this for years, and yet our helpful suggestions of flamethrowers, smart bombs, sarin gas etc have been completely ignored.

So when I saw this titbit today, I was curious.
Folks, it appears that the HoC is invested with actual rats and not just the thumb and tit sucking cunts ( in the main) that sit on the benches.

Oh, the irony!

Apparently, they’ve been refused cats, as the potential for a lethal cat poisoning is high, due to the poison traps.

What IS the solution. I can think of a few, which I think I’ve pretty much already covered.

Daily Fail

Nominated by Jeezum Priest.

 
I am delighted to see our women progressing in the world cup, they show a lot of spirit to come through tough matches. OK Lauren James is as thick as she is ugly, getting caught doing that stupid stamp. Her TV ads continue though. Don’t think that would happen with a male white footballer somehow.

Anyhow, ITV use Emma Hayes as the match pundit. I understand she is the successful Chelsea manager and all that but boy is she irritating or “irrita’ing” as she would say with her Estuary English glottal stop. She talks of “Abili’ies”, “Quali’ies”, “Tati’cal”, “Stra’egies”.

She has also introduced a lexicon of phrases hitherto unknown to football such as “second phase balls” and “double pivots”. Eh? Even the main commentator has stopped to ask her to explain what these mean to the TV audience.

She is also extremely butch and has previous form as the link proves.

followfollow.com

If we get to the final, please let it be on the BBC despite the woke all-female panel and Ian Wright.

Nominated by Lord Helpus.

A cunting for this daft hippy dippy Earth mother bint and her cuckold husband. They flew 4,000 miles so she could give birth on an exotic beach in St Lucia so she could “fulfil their dream of welcoming their second child in the most natural way possible”. Boasting on Instagram to other self-absorbed bellends more like.

When her water broke early and she gave birth at sea when in transit to this Caribbean Narnia, it triggered a bureaucratic nightmare as they are unable to register the birth or get a passport to get back to the UK as well as running low on food and money.

I have no doubt family members are trying to raise the necessary moolah through GoFundMe to bring these pair of attention seeking twats home. Let them get a dinghy, every other cunt does.

Anyway what’s wrong with Skeggy?

Mirror

Nominated by Liberal Liquidator.

Cunters you will have to follow L/L’s link to see the couple in question, all the pictures I found included the child and infants do not belong on here, C.A.

 
Currently every credulous cunt in the country is gathered on the shores of Loch Ness with the stated intention of capturing an hallucination. We are familiar with the myth: there is a gigantic creature unknown to science lurking in the near-freezing peaty depths of the loch.

In the link, a clown is seen explaining that plesiosaur remains* have been found in the UK and that these are somehow relevant: a plesiosaur (woooo!) may have survived and bred in the loch during the 66 million years since they became extinct everywhere else, ignoring a couple of major ice ages at that. Help, Nurse, his meds have worn off.

Further, the link claims that a distant thermal anomaly on the loch shore is the beastie, rather than a sheep, say, a quad bike, someone having a crafty fag, a wild swimmer or anything warm- blooded and fatally uninsulated against the chill of a Highland loch, really.

All this is nonsense, of course. The odd seal might make it through the Caledonian Canal, perhaps…very perhaps….but there is absolutely fuck all unusual about the loch other than its size and the intriguing tectonics of its location in a gigantic strike-slip fault zone. As anyone not into ear candles and crystals living in the region will tell you. The Loch Ness Monster is a necessary aid to getting the awful local hotels and campsites filled with gullible people, but let’s not confuse it with anything that exists in fact.

PS. The “Surgeon’s Picture” is included in the catalogue of pseudoscience presented in that clip. I will now for the first time reveal what this actually is. It is identical in all respects to the emerging tail of a black Labrador dog which is diving for a thrown stone. Long ago I had a black Lab cross which did this, most enthusiastically, and only her tail remained above water. There is nothing to indicate the scale of that picture, and please note the little tuft of fur at the tip.
I would like to have met that surgeon….he’d have been a laugh.

*Jurassic ones

Mirror

Nominated by Komodo.