Moby. The Thick Cunt.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6964877/Moby-reveals-hit-rock-bottom-attempted-suicide.html
The 53 year old musician punched himself in the face after a failed relationship. This may or may not have been after he dated/shagged Natalie Portman.
“One night, years earlier, after another relationship failed because of panic, my frustration and anger boiled over until I started punching myself in the face. I hit myself once. Then again. Then again, very hard, making myself fall backward onto the floor. For a second it felt good and even justified – I had punched myself in my worthless face. Then I was scared, because I didn’t know if I was sane. Sane people generally didn’t punch themselves in the face until they fell down.”
What a cunt. A complete and utter cunting McCunt. From Cuntsville. Money, fame and shagging a hot famous chick and he can’t get his shit together? Him and Damon Albarn should go and co-habit and twiddle each other over how hard life is.And how everyone is being nasty to ole Theresa May. Maybe they could play at the Windsor Horse show on May 8th for all the horse faced relics who claim to have met Prince Charles once. They could all start a charity. A rescue pop relics from themselves charity. Get Prince Charles as a patron. God knows on some level they all deserve each other.
Nominated by CaliAngel
Moby the bald-headed environmentalist cock-sucker, purveyor of shit music, recently revealed that he rubbed his cock on an unaware Donald Trump at a crowded party. The public reaction – zilch. The so-called anti-rapists are SILENT. Funny how none of those hyper-sensitive PC MeTooCunts are accusing Moby the uber lib of being a creepy monster. Could you imagine if the roles had been reversed or Hilary Clinton had been the ‘victim’? It seems sexual assault is only wrong if you’re a hetro-normal white male, and god help you if your politics are on the right.
And British police recently came under critisicm . actual CRITISICM, for simply mooting the idea they will want to look at the mobiles of women who cry rape! God forbid fake rape claimants should actually be discouraged in some way from making malicious claims of sexual assault, becuase everyone knows there’s no chance of them actually being prosecused if and when found out.
Nominated by MandroidZ
Too funny.
This bald cunt made an absolute fortune from sales of ‘Play’, the album was a huge hit worldwide and most of the singles were based on liberal quantities of black gospel music samples or in two cases, entire songs.
So he makes his fortune off the backs of long-dead blacks, and is now promoting himself as a social justice warrior?
Ooh lordy, troubles so hard. Ooh lordy, don’t nobody know what an execrable cunt you are, you fucking shiny headed, long-forgotten cuntfuck.
22
What a pussybitch. Ram your head through a car window if you mean business. Otherwise, fuck off. I’ve hated this cunt since that shit he and noted homewrecking, transsexual whore Gwen Stefani queefed out that shit song back in the 90s.
8
Panicking for a minute thought milhouse from the simpsons had had chemotherapy when saw the picture! Luckily just that drip moby, punching hisself in face? Advertise on social media, be queuing down the road to chin you, yer goggle eyed soya cunt.
3
Herman Melville must be getting pretty fucking tired of spinning in his grave.
10
He’s not a musician he’s a DJ. Every cunt is a DJ and every DJ is a cunt. They play other cunts music. I play Frankie Stubbs in my car stereo, does that make me a fukn DJ? I hope not because I hate all the piss ant cunts.
12
‘Every cunt is a DJ’
And every other cunt is a poet.
2
Ah, the days when cunts like Moby and Fatcunt Slim used to press a button or rip off some obscure record they found in a bargain bin and be lauded as a ‘Superstar DJ’ and a ‘Genuis’… Fucking bollocks, of course… The old fucker who used t go in our old boozer and play the spoons had more talent…
And that rodental gimp in the photo actually shagged Natalie Portmouth?! Just goes to show that celebrity cunts will shag any other celebrity cunts (as long as they are a celebrity cunt, that is).. Seriously, mind… How in Bonaparte’s Bollocks does a weasel like ‘Moby’ pull a Hollywood slapper?! The little fucker looks like a bald version of the cunt who was in love with his dinner on that old Paxo advert…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZGz5YdcEnI
15
Natalie Portman has been fucked by so many musicians that her cunt is in grave danger of being subject to a record label copyright claim.
18
Well, the only thing I can think of that attracted the musicians to Portmouth is the idea of them dabbling with an instrument… I bet it felt like they were fucking a xylophone….
9
I remember that graffiti and the album ‘Whatever Happened To Slade?’
Maybe they’re up Natalie Portmouth’s flue?….
5
For some reason 80s band Big Country popped into my head!
Can’t imagine why.
5
Paxo is ace. We only have it once a year at Christmas and it absolutely makes Christmas dinner for us. Yum.
Yank grocery stores sell bags of breadcrumbs with some kind of savory crap mixed in and think it’s stuffing. Bless. They have no idea.
0
Another cunt living in a cuntish dreamworld bubble totally detached from reality but firmly in the realms of make believe.
And then when it all goes tits up they come out of the shadows and bleat about how tough their life has become and we should all go “ahhhh what a shame. We love you so much!”
If you really hated your life, give up your money, your (hacked) music, your houses, cars and fuck know what else and return to the real world in some shithole area of London, perhaps on the 30th floor of an unclad tower block, full of druggies, benefit claimants, drunks, immigrants (including friends of David Lammy); and other members of the underclass.
Only then would you have good reason to punch yourself in the fucking face, you white privileged spunkbag
12
One decent album, countless music scores for movies and that’s about the sum output from this twat who can’t even sing.
Been living off the royalties from Mute Records (or their one big money making machine Depeche M0de) ever since.
Had it not been for that, this cunt would have disappeared ages ago.
4
Depeche left Mute about 15 years ago for a major label although I understand there is still some relationship there.
The big cash cows for mute used to be depeche, erasure and Moby. They financed those ‘difficult’ Nick cave albums .
Sadly, I don’t see mute coming through with a credible act that could even get Anywhere near those sales.
1
To be fair, if I woke up one morning and saw Moby’s face staring back at me in the mirror, I too would repeatedly and brutally punch myself in the face until the onset of compressive cranial neuropathy reduced me to a drooling fucking vegetable.
12
File Moby and his overrated album alongside Fatcunt Slim, Blur, Loaded, TFI Friday, FHM, The Spice Slags, Oasis, Ginger Cunt Evans, Cold Feet, The Royle Family and Satan Blair and New Labour as premium 90s shite…
12
The cunt looks a bit like Pat Nevin…
5
Looks like Phil Collins after a week on the Atkin’s diet.
3
And the tee-shirt would be a perfect fit on Collins
2
Anyone have Brian Walden – Weekend World, etc – in their Dead Pool?
Well he’s dead. Aged 87.
7
I remember him. He’d never make it on TV today…….far too balanced and even handed. Or have I just become used to TV “journalists” who might as well be wearing a big “I love remoan” badge?
8
Walden was ace… Took no shit whatsoever…
His show had a top theme tune too… Nantucket Sleighride…
7
He was a Labour MP. Reportedly one of the best orators/debaters of his time. When Labour MPs were normal.
7
Norm: Thanks for the tip on the Weekend World theme tune. Just ordered the album off bastards Amazon.
I too remember Brian Walden. If memory serves Weekend World was on ITV just before The Big Match on Sunday afternoons. I used to catch the tail end of WW before enjoying the highlights show presented by the ledge, Brian Moore. Always thought BW was a bit serious and scary. I was about 10 or 11 at the time so politics wasn’t something I knew anything about or understood.
Gosh that theme tune takes me back.
4
Norm: I do hate Amazon for a variety of reasons not relevant here. One feature I do like though, is the instant MP3 download of an album you’ve bought. I bought the Nantucket Sleighride album and since their first album was only $4.99, I figured I’d get that too. Just finished listening to it and it’s really good. I like it. It’s not often I delve back in time this far to look for stuff I might enjoy, so I am indebted to you Norm for the tip. Cheers muchly.
It’s always a good day when I buy more music.
2
Yes, I remember him on WW, and his predecessor, Peter Jay. It was a great program, objective, intelligent and didn’t pander to either party or either wing of a party.
There used to be some great shows back in the 70s – World in Action, Panorama, Weekend World, Tonight …. what the fuck happened? All we get now is left-wing bollocks, and not very good bollocks at that!
5
NoCunt: You are so right. I’d forgotten about Peter Jay. World In Action too. I remember Panorama going soft while in my 20s. It used to be the case that if you or your company or whatever got investigated and reported upon on Panorama, you were in deep shit.
As you say, what we get now is biased, partisan fake news. What the F happened?
3
Peter Jay married Jim “oily heap of shit” Callaghan’s daughter.
2
Nantucket Sleighride by Mountain.
A fucking kick-arse track
1
Just checked my collection and Play is the only Moby title I have. But I didn’t buy it, honest. I remember the circumstances well. I happened to visit the offices of a company called Cambridge Technology Partners in Richmond, London back in ’99. This CD was left lying around so I took it, ripped it and returned it the next day.
Now why the fuck am I mentioning this? Well, this site is all about calling out cunts and CTP were indeed cockgobbling cunts of the first order. Bunch of Java programmer know-it-alls at a time when “object orientation” was all the rage in IT. Class this, polymorphism that, inheritance the other. Utter bollocks of course and all done at break neck speed in the name of RAD – Rapid Application Development. For those unfamiliar, RAD (and its variations like Agile, DevOps, etc.) is basically a bunch of programmers making shit up as they go along, without a design spec, test plan or any supporting documentation, only to find out their code is inefficient, doesn’t scale, doesn’t interface well and will need to be re-done, over and over again. Yeah, real “rapid” and cost effective. Get to fuck.
I’ve often thought about nominating programmer scum, but felt it too specific and of little interest to those outside of IT. So I’ll leave my little rant there. We return you now to your regular programming (see what I did there?).
Gotta run – footie’s about to start.
6
This cunt shagged Natalie Portman!!!
She must have a bucket list, No 15 shag a fucking weedy little shit…. tick
5
She has a ‘bucket’, alright. Even John Holmes would feel like a Micro Machine inside the Eurotunnel.
7
Like Corbyn’s wrinkled cotton bud wiener in the vastness of the Flabbott sausage wallet.
5
to quote Jean Luc Picard from Star Trek.. “to boldly go where no cunt has gone before!”
2
Who the fuck is this ugly little cunt?
He does know that Natalie Portman is a stage name and that she is Israeli…
My god,he fucked a Zionist!
3
Have to admit natalie portman is pretty sexy for a jewess krav, her acting on the other hand tho not entirely convinced… tho shes a bit better then scarlet johanson
Btw is she forgiven yet krav? I thought you were angry at her because she snubbed some award by bibi and she spoke critically of the administrations treatment of palestinians all is fair in love and war then?
3
Cuba is rationing food. What say John McDonnel?
6
Celebrity DJ’s piss me off…full stop.
They do fuck all.
When you go to the cinema nobody gives a fuck who the protectionist is….
5
JR – I know! DJs used to be someone on the radio who reads out announcements, introduces the news and weather and plays other people’s records. How the fuck did being a DJ ever become anything other than just that?
Of course it didn’t. Wannabe musicians with zero talent who wanted to be someone in the media/music biz high jacked playing other people’s records and tried to turn it into a thing. Usually by waving their fists above their heads and shouting into a microphone “I wanna hear ya say yeeeeaaaahh”. I blame the impressionable dolts spaced out on ecstasy for giving these nobodies a platform. It says it all that you have to be stoned out of your freakin’ mind to believe ‘da DJ iz kikkin’ it’. Innit.
4
Like a ventriloquist he doesn’t open his mouth when he speaks. He’s one of them. So fucking weird.
I think he grinds his teeth as well when he’s not speaking.
Like ventriloquism as well- in the sense that the music he produces isn’t his voice, is somebody else’s. Or it’s not in his own voice.
2
And I suspect that Moby definitely likes a strong arm or two shoved up his arse.
3
Kim Wilde has been popping up on our tv screen a bit too much for my liking recently. On today on a cookery programme.
According to a couple of sources on the inter web she is reputed to be worth about $20m.
Absolutely staggering considering the most shitty “Kids in America” single is pretty much all she ever did.
Always sounded like she had a cold.
9
She had a pretty limited vocal range and her delivery was also a bit one dimensional. That said, back in the day I definitely would have. I suspect her very lovely looks helped her sell a few records.
She was by no means a one hit wonder though. Just dialed up her Very Best Of and there are some other decent efforts on there. Water On Glass, View From a Bridge and my personal fave, Cambodia.
3
Cambodia was great. The guitarist had a funny haircut. Not the most glamarous people the rest of the band. I liked the way she just moved on. In an interview I remember ‘I had the career I wanted’.
3
That is cool for her to have said that.
Like ’em or not, I always found it incredibly sad to find out what happened to people who were once in bands, up there and famous, doing TOTP, touring and having chart hits.
I remember reading years ago that David Van Day (the bloke out of Dollar) ended up running a fish and chip van in Brighton. Not sure if that’s true, but if so how sad. That said, maybe he wasn’t sad about it and enjoyed a different life out of the limelight.
3
Van Day was always a massive big headedattention seeking cunt.
Now a Conservative Councillor in Essex.
That sort of confirms it.
5
Nooooooooooooooooo! Really Willie? Wow!
Still, I’d have had a big head as well if I’d hung around Thereza Bazar all day. If you know what I’m saying. Schwing!
2
I heard it was a fast food van, hence his nickname, Burger Van Day
3
IY. You won’t have seen ‘Reborn in America’ being over there. Hysterical stuff. They took a group of ageing pop stars over to resurrect their careers.Tony Hadley, Sonia, Dollar, about 9 all together. All on a coach quarreling, arguing. But the really EVIL one was Van Day trying to sabotage Sonia’s chance with his psychological games. A really nasty piece of work he was. In fact he became a ‘Mr Nasty’ figure here for a while. What you’re missing.
2
Cheers Miles. Yikes, who would have thunk it? Do miss out on all sorts of things, it’s true. I’ll look out for that show, see if I can catch it some time.
VH-1 did something similar years ago called Bands Reunited. Former band members were coerced into reforming for a one off show. Different bands, varying degrees of success. I have the one for A Flock of Seagulls somewhere on DVD. It was actually very good.
1
Kids in America is a great pop-song. And an amateur effort put together by her dad and brother.
1
Marty Wilde was hardly an amateur.
2
Well observed, RTC. We was the brains behind Kim’s career and did a mighty fine job of making the most out of limited resources. He was no fool.
1
Testing testing..
2
One-two-three.
3
I’m confused, does this mean it’s ok to punch Moby, and/or Lady Gaga, Elton John etc should you happen to encounter a musical celebrity cunt? Until told otherwise I shall assume it has been legally sanctioned and will be hanging around the stage door for the MOBO and Brit awards.
5
Great news! 26 more goatshaggers arrived on a rubber dinghy today to make “a valuable contribution to our economy.”
Fuck me i’m thinking of moving to some little French coastal town and open up a dinghy shop. Of course I wouldn’t just sell the boats…….. there’s life jackets, mobile phones, maps of Kent with the benefits offices marked, waterproof wallets to keep your DSS documents in. And for the kiddies (don’t want them getting bored before the Navy picks them up two miles off the French coast) there’s little plastic AK 47s, Action Suicide Bomber and Ken and Barbie to practice blowing up or beheading with a machete……plastic of course, we don’t want little Abdul injuring himself befor they discover how to access the NHS.
Welcome to our green and pleasant land.
1
Don’t mind Moby. Hugely derivative – that blues shtick he made the money from had already been done by Alan wilder from depeche mode 10 years earlier – funnily enough, Moby was a guest vocalist on that album…
…but he made a miniscule amount of talent go a long way and shagged some tasty birds and made a fortune in the process. How many of us wouldn’t do the same with limited resources?
I appreciate the need for a cunting but he’s hardly a lammy or a khan or a may or a Corbyn….
6
It’s all relative, I reckon. As musicians go, he is a major cunt but of course not comparable to Corbyn. Only a handful are.
One thing no-one has mentioned here (or remembered) is just how fucking overplayed and ubiquitous Moby’s ‘Play’ was between 1999 and 2000. At one point, seemingly every single one of his songs was used on TV adverts. Summer 2000 in TV went a bit like this:
Oooh lordy – Fairy Liquid
Oooh lordy – Del Monte
Oooh lordy – Radeon
Oooh lordy – Twix
And so on. I don’t begrudge any lucky, talentless chancer a bit of high living – I sure hope Scatman John for example got many a groupie lay before he scatted himself to death.
But there is, and always has been something undefinably cuntish about Moby.
I reckon nominating musicians from the early 00s might be good for this site, shake things up a bit from Brexit and Mecca. First fucking dibs please on wobbly-headed troubadour gobshite David Gray….
4
Good suggestion Empire, the gorilla playing drums to Phil Collins ‘I can feel it’ and 90’s one hit wonder Babylon Zoo with ‘Spaceman’ for Levi jeans spring to mind.
2
Best one hit wonder linked to Levi’s was the song Inside by Stiltskin. Brilliant riff in that song. Here’s a link to the commercial for anyone that’s interested:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skWFyop_pxU
1
That Satan’s Fart that was that Babylon Zoo shite kept the excellent Bluetones and ‘Slight Return’ off the No.1 spot… Same thing happened with some der-chick-a-der crap by ‘Baby D’ which prevented the Stone Roses ferocious ‘Love Spreads’ from hitting the top… Both bigger musical crimes than Engelbert Cuntberdinck keeping ‘Strawberry Fields Forever/Penny Lane’ from being No. 1….
1
Empire….you are an astute fellow for sure. Max respect. David fucking Gray. If memory serves, I hated him back in the day for sounding like a Paul Simon wannabe. How that cunt got anywhere is fucking mysterious.
4
Ah, David Gray… The male version of Dido (another dull and boring cunt)… The tone when the TV used to have its closedown had a better sound than that tuneless cunt…
1
Well he’s been “Moby” for over 25yrs now.
Maybe he should be “Dick” for the next 25??
4
I remember this cunt on a shit music show hosted by sycophantic bimbo Jo Whiley, and there was some Dutch DJ cunt on as well. They were discussing the music biz in general, and this cloggy DJ said he was purely in it for the money and the birds. Moby replied that for him, it was all about the music, creativity and that. I was fucking screaming at the Tv, because every song off that cunting play album was being used in advertising, from chocolate to fuck knows what, and that clueless tart didn’t even mention it. Three cunts, one lying cunt, one sycophantic thick cunt and a talentless DJ cunt, who, even though he was honest, was still a cunt.
4
Even as a techno/EDM fan I never really cared for mobys input but some of his early club remixes are decent
Play was a overrated pile of shit however, soft emo sounding stuff like porcelain and natural blues type of songs you would cut your wrists to
3
Always liked his tune Go back in the day, might have been the eccy’s mind.Cunt
3
Mdma consumption always helps appreciation of music sway smoother, Go is definitely one of his better early tracks
Theres a good compliation of most of his good club rave stuff called early underground if anyones interested It pisses all over Play imho
3
New Order, Dust Brothers, 808 State, Stakka, and A Guy Called Gerald were all ripped off by that bald rat faced cunt Moby…. He’s the Noel Gallagher of dance music (and a cunt)….
And the Trump thing? Selective ignorance and indignation as expected… It’s only wrong when they say it is and when it suits them… The Times Up and Me Too celebrislags are just covering themselves in case Uncle Harvey tells the world what whores they really are… They certainly don’t give a fuck if any male is sexually assaulted or harassed… Have any of them said anything about Michael Jackson? Of course they fucking haven’t…
3
Wonder if the bald rodent named himself after John Bonham’s Zeppelin showcase or after Ron Dicko’s van from Brookie? Either way, ‘Moby’ is a total cunt…
2
You neglect the possibility that he named himself Moby because he is a dick?
1
“Moby was born Richard Melville Hall on September 11, 1965, in New York City, and raised in the suburb of Darien, Connecticut. His nickname, which he has had since he was a baby, is based on the novel Moby Dick, written by his great-great-great uncle, Herman Melville.”
1