Now I’ve seen everything.

From some deluded twat in Japan, who spent £1000’s on a Lassie dog costume, to some gimboid whose turned her face into a scary mask by tattooing it over and over, and strangely enough has been banned from her local pub and school, can’t get a job, I wonder why?

Shopping Link.

Then, this. Fucking hell. A pet bed for humans. How low can you go?

Don’t know about you lot, but I just flake on the sofa, that’s the proper place to rest your eyes after lunch, not a fucking pet bed on the floor.

Nominated by : Jeezum Priest

We just moved! No, it did not go well but that’s a different cunting for a different day.

At our new house we signed up for 1 Gbps internet. Never had that speed before so that was pretty exciting. I thought I was a bit flash with 500 Mbps at our old place, but 1G!!! Well, aren’t I just the most dandy cunt on the block now? Well I would be if I could actually get 1G. Speed tests showed I was getting upper 300s at best. So less than half of what I’m paying for. Time to summon a tech from the ISP (Internet Service Provider) and give them a good kicking. That went well.

The piece of sand dwelling shit that showed up had all the gizmos to measure this and diagnose that, but claimed he wasn’t technical when I started to quiz him on networking stuff. Hmmm. Well, according to him we’re getting about 980 Mbps coming into the house. Which means my wireless router is the bottleneck. Like fuck it is, thought I. It’s spec is up to 1 Gbps, so matey boy has got to be wrong. Turns out he wasn’t. Bollocks!

Bought a new wireless router. Take a note of this: TP-Link AX10000. This fucking thing is the embodiment of evil whose sole purpose in life is to waste days of your time. Meanwhile, TP-Link’s 24×7 online chat support is fucking useless. Staffed by a bunch of guptas who obviously have never seen fire, a wheel or running water before, let alone a fucking wireless router.

I’ll spare you all the excruciating details and cut to the chase. Wireless devices like mobile ‘phones and our Rokus all connected to the wireless network no problem. Our computers on the other hand could not. The same computers which were hard wired into my network could not access the wireless network. TP-Link support could not explain why.

When setting up DHCP (the mechanism whereby a specific device is given a specific IP address), I spent over 2 hours typing in the details of almost 60 devices, one at a time. Why is there not a quick and easy method to configure DHCP from a file? While “diagnosing” the computer wireless issue, one gupta said I needed to do a hard reset on the AX-10000 to restore factory settings and try again. Yeah and wipe out over 2 hours work. Nice try. Have another dog shit chapati you cunt.

I eventually figured out the computer wireless issue on my own, only to run into the next show stopping problem. Computers connected to the same network and hard wired into the same network switch could not communicate with each other. That is insane – it’s what a network switch is supposed to do! I first noticed this when I wanted to RDP (remote desktop) from one computer to another. Windows told me to fuck off. So I tried to ping the other computer. I got “request timed out” and 100% packet loss. Which is ping’s way of saying “I have no idea what you are trying to see”. The best part was the hard wired computers could ping wireless devices, but could not ping other hard wired computers. Again, that is insane.

All of this was working perfectly with my old router in play, so this TP-Link piece of shit is somehow preventing basic low level networking capability. Forty-five fucking minutes online chat with another gupta from the dark ages before it admitted it knew shit all and would have to escalate to a “senior engineer”. What’s that then? Some other cretin who’s been there 10 minutes longer than you? Oh do fuck off.

Shortly thereafter the AX-10000 was back in its box ready to start its journey back to Bastard Amazon and my old router was once again performing perfectly, albeit at half the speed it should. Should have got another Netgear router. Lesson learned.

Nominated by : Imitation Yank

I’m sure that many on here share my view that immigration has contributed greatly to diversity and cultural enrichment in the UK. As a shining example of the benefits bestowed upon us, allow me to present one Pascal Jombla.

In 2022 Mr Jambalaya dragged a woman into his home in Hackney, where he beat her up before raping her. She only managed to escape when he fell asleep, and she was hospitalised with numerous injuries, including a fractured back.

For this stirring contribution to the nation’s well-being, Mr Jambawamba has been rewarded with an extended all-inclusive holiday at one of HM’s five-star hotels. It is possible that at some point, he will accidently fall down several flights of steps, hastening him into the bosom of the Lord, there to receive his beautiful reward. Possible, but not probable. Nevertheless, for his sake, we must all hope.

Evening Standard Link.

Nominated by : Ron Knee

This piece of shit raped and murdered two fifteen year old girls in the 80s and was released in September 2021. He was quickly banged up again because he was hanging around schools and trying to chat up young girls in the park. (rather like a certain protected demographic in this country)

So now the Parole Board have decided to release this cunt once again. Oh , he’s perfectly rehabilitated obviously. The Lord Chancellor, whoever that cunt is, has asked them to “reconsider their decision”.

Fuck reconsider their decision!! Let’s have Pitchfork living next door to these Parole Board wankers or this Lord Chancellor fuckwit. Oh no….that only happens to trash like us. We don’t count, our children and grandchildren don’t count. Just suck it up you fucking peasants.

Sly News Link.
(No link Freddie, tut tut, so I magnanimously provided one – NA)

Nominated by : Freddie the Frog

Coming home from work this afternoon round the M25 ” yes it’s a cunt of a road normally”

Traffic really slow, its then I notice minimal traffic on the opposite carriageway. FUCKING RUBBERNECKERS.

25 minutes crawling along so braindead turds can gawp at damaged vehicles.

I don’t know what people are hoping to see. 9 times out of 10 it’s just a procession of pricks rear-ending each other.
A bit like after this morning ends. (I see what you did there. Well played – NA)

So to all rubberneckers if you want to witness a accident, look in the mirror you gormless cunt.

https://youtu.be/sS3BVVK9V-A

Nominated by : Barry zuckercunt