A cimex lectularian cunting for the absurd over reaction to some biting insects.

Paris is infested with the little fuckers apparently, the Frogs aren’t too chuffed and so they’re packing them off to Blighty. As a former Human Rights Lawyer, the Mayor of Lonstabistan is himself no stranger to blood-sucking parasites. Clasping a ‘Bedbugs Welcome’ banner, the Mayor said that these migrants would add to the wonderful multicultural diversity of our great city. The charity Care4Bedbugs is looking after them in Calais before organising transport to the UK courtesy of Border Farce and the RNLI.

However the Prime Miniature is not happy. His Government has turfed the few human migrants out of Bibby Stockholm (again) to make way for bedbug migrants. Arguments continue over whether deporting bedbugs to Rwanda will compromise their Insect Rights.

If you ask me, bedbugs are a load of puffs. Genital crabs on the other hand, now that’s what I call a proper parasite.

Bbc news

Nominated by Geordie Twatt.

As a reminder, she dumped her hubby Jamie a few years ago thinking she would be the next new hottest thing after playing mum for several years.

Why is she still a cunt? This silly old boiler still cannot get enough publicity and still uses the Redknapp surname despite her being divorced for almost 6 years. I have a Yahoo mail account and every time I click on the homepage, I see her wrinkly, gurning dial plastered with makeup and the accompanying story is how great she looks. Utter desperation, probably knowing now what a complete fuck-up she has made of her life, thinking she would have to bat men off with a stick.

Sorry love, you were drop dead horny in the 90s and your FHM pics were in every young man’s meat-beating collection. Now you look like a scraggy old mum approaching 50 who is trying to be a teenager once again. Time hasn’t been kind to you. Jamie has netted himself a fit, young Scandinavian wife.

(Can’t fool us, mate. You’d still take her up the YouTube if given half the chance –  Day Admin)

Yahoo News Link

Fuck off.

Nominated by: Paul Maskinback

is a cunt.

Who the fuck I hear you ask is this cunt, he is some knuckle dragging fuckwit who got caught on film beating his 7 month old puppy for 5 mins solid.

What a piece of dog shit this cunt is, I hope he gets the same treatment from Karma.

I have to say i am not a fan of bully type dogs of which this is one, but I would never see harm to come to one, its because of useless cunts like Mr Smith [ usual bully type owner] who cant train these dogs properly and resort to violence that cause alot of these dogs to act the way some do, look at where we are now, dogs being banned or put down all because of cunts like thick as shit Smiffy.

Shame the mutt didn’t turn on him give him some treatment in kind……cunt.

yahoo

Nominated by Fuglyucker.

Getting over excited about a bit of space rock.

The sample has returned from Asteroid Bennu, about 250g, it’s going to give answers about the formation of the solar system and perhaps the origins of life on earth (I doubt it will ever answer, is there a god).

The excitement includes putting 75% of the 250g in a safe to be locked away for, well maybe forever and the rest a whole 62.5 g will be distributed across the globe to be studied by various boffins and in two years we will get some answers.

Looking forward with a fucking yawn to the answer, any advance on 42.

BBC News Link.

Nominated by : Sick of it

Knife attacks and teenager stabbings in London reach record number. Shoplifting out of control. Burglaries at record levels.

Never mind, the MET can spare 6 or more coppers to raid a blokes home and arresting him for making encouraging comments about the citizenry rising up against the unwanted, un-democratic ULEZ cash grab. Obviously a slow crime day. Nothing more important going on in the nations Capital city.

Dare I suggest Mayor Khan has prompted the police to this action. I was foolish to think we still had some semblance of free speech left in this country, but I am clearly deluded.
Still I’ll sleep safe in my bed knowing Police resources are targetted where they are needed most.

Standard News Link

Nominated by: Lord of the Rings