and the Implementation of Dynamic Energy Pricing is a cunt.

Well most of us knew that smart meters were not really meant to save us money, but in actual fact is to be used as a form of dynamic pricing based on a 24 hour demand pricing algorithm.

Essentially OFGEM want to do away with the current energy price cap because it believe millions of customers are moving away from fossil fuels and onto renewables such as EVs, solar panels and heat pumps (They don’t provide actual stats to back this up, but of course it doesn’t matter because they know best, innit!)

They believe the current energy plan is unfair on these “good” customers and hence the introduction of Dynamic Price Cap based on demand. In other words you will pay more during popular hours of the day – usually 6am to 9am and 4pm to 10pm.

The actual rate in terms of pence/kwh, isn’t mentioned but they believe it will be far more than what you’re currently paying under the existing cap. But they do say “off-peak” charges will be far less than the current cap,

This means if you’re housebound, unemployed, retired, or WfH, you could see a massive increase in your energy bills under the new cap, which will be monitored by your smart meter. The energy suppliers will know exactly when you use electric most and charge you a premium for it.

Years ago OFGEM insisted smart meters would help people save money on their bills, but now that millions of accepted meters in their homes, OFGEM have changed tack and more or less said “Fuck you, suckers!”

And those energy suppliers, so keen on pushing these meters on you, and again insisting they will save you money, want this new cap introduced in order to maintain profits. Afterall, we can’t have customers ending up with smaller energy bills despite our bullshit saying meters would do just that. Profits come first!

This idea is still on the drawing board, but it will only be a matter of time before it becomes a reality. All those promises about meters, cheap energy and going with renewables was all one big wet fucking dream!

telegraph

Nominated by Technocunt.

Ok cunters, indulge me on this one. I know I’m being idiosyncratic, but I find American-style country dancing, or country hip hop, or whatever it’s called, to be inexplicably but incredibly irritating. I know that it’s harmless and gives fun to a lot of people, but just watching them gives me a bad case of the twitch and makes me go ‘aaaaarrgh!’. It’s the American equivalent of morris dancing.

Normally I avoid any display of it like the plague, but lately it’s been really in your face on soshull meeja, which I put down to the release of a song called ‘Texas Hold ‘Em’ by Beyoncé. For some reason, this release has led to a really bad outbreak of Letitgoitis (as in ‘let it go, let it go’, from ‘Frozen’) with umpteen thousands of women (it’s usually women) feeling compelled to perform for our edification.

This involves a two stage process. Firstly you acquire a cod cowgirl (or boy) outfit; some combination of tight denim jeans, stetson, studded shirt, leather boots and belt with a big buckle. Secondly you gyrate about as though you’ve got a bad case of knock knees and pigeon toes, while in turn whirling your arms about, touching the rim of your hat, patting your arse, sticking your thumbs in your belt, and slapping your thighs and ankles. Thus;

Having filmed yourself in action, you then deluge Youtube with your effort, along with millions of others with more enthusiasm than talent.

I really find it quite hard to articulate why this form of dance (I’ll be generous and call it that) sets my teeth on edge so much. The wife says that I’m actually an old perv who likes the sight of peachy little ass in tight jeans. To an extent she’s not wrong, but it goes beyond that. I just find it so twee, hick and corny; in a word, cringeworthy. It’s like fingers down a blackboard. I know that I should simply stop watching these videos, but it’s like a scab that you can’t stop picking.

As I said, it’s an idiosyncratic loathing, but for me it’s a real one. Just as some people have a phobia about clowns or string, perhaps I’m countrychorophobic or something. Anyways, I reckon it’s a cunt, and I’m sticking by that. Am I on my own?

Nominated by: Ron Knee

And supported – sort of – by General Cuntster

I’m not sure if I’m seconding this nomination or counter-cunting it.

This type of dancing evolved from country line dancing and it has been around for decades.

Here’s the great Dwight Yoakum with his interpretation (1999) of Queen’s (1979) “Crazy Little Thing Called Love.”

It was never really my thing but I do understand it. Rowdy music, Lone Star beer, Marlboro cigarettes, cowgirls and honky tonk heroes.

For most people old enough to remember, the first thing you associate with the word “rationing” is WWII and ration books in the UK.

Back then, nearly all everyday food and drink items were on ration. Meaning you were only allowed so much of any one thing per day per person. This was meant to make sure the nation as a whole could provide for itself during those uncertain times with food distribution throughout the country constantly under threat.

Jump forward some 80 odd years, and the subject of rationing has been raised again, but this time in the context of climate change and damaging the planet through our avaricious and harmful materialism.

“Experts” and other assorted cunts who have nothing better to do other than to jump on this well worn bandwagon, have suggested we all need to cut back on our food, drink, clothing, domestic energy, travel etc – all the usual triggers in fact. But in order to make this affective they’re suggesting a carrot and stick approach by means of a form of social credit system, but this time based on your carbon footprint/emissions.

Make sacrifices on one hand (i.e. reduce your dependency on petrol cars, flights abroad, gas central heating etc) and in the other hand, you’ll earn carbon credits that can be put towards cleaner sources of energy such as cheaper energy bills and reduced fares on public transport.

They’ve even considered a Carbon Tax to be slapped on those same goods and services, in order to force people (the plebs) away from cheap products and fast food (all of which are killing the planet apparently) and onto cleaner more healthier options.

They say rationing should be introduced gradually by reducing the dependency on those products we take for granted – intensive farming, petrol cars, plastics, travelling abroad. By gradually weaning people off these things it will mean reduced demand as people move to greener alternatives. But it all hinges on a government willing to put these words into actions.

Therefore, beware that rationing may be on its way in one form or another. But we have to save Greta’s future somehow, therefore we must make greater sacrifices in order to achieve it!

Leeds University

Nominated by: Technocunt

As I write it is 25th March 2024. The BBC Genome is an excellent idea – type in any date and select a radio or TV service, and you can see what was being broadcast on the day your son was born, or the day Auntie Florrie shat herself on a 253 bus – any day you like over the past 90 years or so.

A great idea ruined by wokery. For example, if you were listening to the Home Service on this day sixty years ago, at 9.05 a.m. you might have heard something that caused great offence. Click on the yellow bar if you dare:

bbc shit

This is not an isolated incident. There are similar warnings even a few years ago – Radio 2 for example often contained music from the Black **** Mills Band which triggers exactly the same warning. “Negro spirituals” is another naughty one, even if sung by Paul Robeson. I can’t imagine the sort of warning there would be for “Peter Mandelson’s Bum Fun Hour For Poofters”, which Tony Blair suggested to give his boyfriend a job when he had to sack him one Christmas.

Surely even the BBC can’t imagine there are snowflakes so fucking fragile they need to be protected in this heavy handed way. Are we men or mice?. Excuse me while I finish my cheese sandwich.

Nominated by W C Boggs.

(Anyone fancy shagging some artisan country cream gates? – Day Admin)

Over the years we have had all manner of weirdos cunted on IsAC with their perversions ranging from Nips in nappies to Tank Hafertepen (look up that one in the IsAC archives!) Now I give you Objectum-Sexuality, a sexual orientation defined as individuals who experience emotional, romantic and/or sexual feelings towards inanimate objects such as bridges or statues for example.

This being clown world there is of course advocates and organisations devoted to OS, feeding their narcissism and attention seeking personality disorders. One of the best known is Erika Eiffel who yes, you guessed it, fell in love and married the Eiffel Tower. Unfortunately they are no longer together after the busy bodies at the Eiffel Tower management became involved and they grew apart.

There is a happy ending to all this though, after briefly finding God with Christ the Redeemer, Erika is now with the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco who offers more support and structure in her life.

Erika meet padded cell. Padded cell, Erika……

You Tube

Nature

Nominated by: Liberal Liquidator