Not so long ago, you could have a good snigger and, dare I say, chortle at this feast of ridiculousness over a glass of absinthe and a magma of a vindaloo. But now, like virtually everything else, it has been usurped by the sickeningly debauched dregs of humanity.

Nostalgic days they were, with our host (Terry Wigon) slowly slurping his way through several bottles of Baileys® and us, laughing and crying in incredulity and haughty smugness at our European neighbours attempts at tunes – whilst simultaneously awarding them null points for their efforts.

Then they let Turdistan in together with the other forty or fifty other East European `countries` and it all went sideways. My, how the tables have turned.

Yes. It is, was and always will be, a steaming pile of utter excrement; but at least it was without the contribution of the LBQWERTY…s.

Is there nothing sacred?

BBC News

Nominated by: Sam Beau

Seconded by the ever flamboyant Cuntamus Prime:

I stopped watching this celebration of mediocrity many years ago when the Sausage Quare got the vote over the popular winner (the big boobed slavic girls from Poland).before that was also intermittent: no Eurovision parties thanks. Those are the preserve of women and gays, and I dare not poison the atmosphere with proletarian toxic masculinity. It went from being a bit camp tio full-on mince and glitter, and is unwatchable.
Speaking of which, this year Britain’s candidate will be professionsl bender Olly Alexander, a box-ticking, mincing gremlin seemingly on retainer at the Beeb, where his bland Pet Shop Boys rip-off is played every hour by the Hen Party station, formerly Radio 2.
Olly has reservations about flying the ‘divisive’ union jack (of course) and plans to fly it in the gayest manner possible. Well done to you, Olly. It will teach all the old cunts who have nothing better to do that they’re wasting what little of their lives remain by watching hours of this sequin-spaffing AIDS-infested shite. What will it take for the doddering bastards who STILL tune in to see their nation humiliated to switch off and cancel the licence?

Given the Euro-premise, it’s also a chance for the snarky shits presenting and commentating to get in a few anti-Brexit jibes.

Still, it’s in Malmo so who knows what local enrichment might occur.

Telegraph Link.

(Transwimminz and blokes will probably claim the same deal. Equality, innit! – Day Admin)

Women working in Spain are now entitled under new laws to have 5 day’s fully paid leave in any 28 day period.

If they say that they experience period pains then they are now able to take up to 5 days off work.
I can’t see many women just taking 3 or 4 days off, so 5 days will be the norm.

They will need a doctors certificate, but as their period pains are so debilitating they would not be expected to endure a trip to the doctors every month.

Instead just one visit will be enough to register their condition followed by the occasional online consultation.

I can guarantee that no woman is going to have a period stretching into the weekend.
They will all miraculously come on the blob on a Monday, have terrible pains through to the Friday and then back at work the following Monday.

For most, if they don’t work on a weekend that will give them a 9 day break.
Every fucking month.

Of course airline stewardess will manage to start their periods the day that they are due to leave a nice location.
Five extra days laying in the sun in The Seychelles at the airlines expense.
What’s not to like?

Waitresses will be taking the busiest nights off.

Apparently this is a step forward in Women’s Rights.
It will actually be a huge step back when companies will not employ them.

A normal, natural process that women have put up with since human life began is now so debilitating that they can’t do anything at all.

Euronews

Nominated by: The Artful Cunter

Mr Beau and myself, together with 3 of our 9 children (Akim, Jum & Bim) have just been on a special `Immigration Tour Excursion` in the UK as part of the package deal we got when we arranged a one-way trip in a small rubber boat to these fine shores. (Drinks not included).

We visited several establishments.

Is there nowhere left which just serves ordinary `food` and `drink`?
Instead we have `artisan` bread rolls; `hand-crafted` desserts and the `finest, professionally-selected` wines and ales.

I had a meal the other day, the meat of which had been marinated in rare mountain dew for 6 weeks and served on an eiderdown of saffron-infused pulverised potato together with a trio of 4 hand-picked vegetables.
For £95 that`s the last time I`m ordering sausage & mash from there.
And there was a vegetable missing.

oak house foods

Nominated by Sam Beau.

This worthless piece of “asylum seeker” shit murdered 70-year Terence Carney on a Hartlepool street, 8 days after Hamas massacred 1,200 Israelis and kidnapped a further 240, setting in motion the current war in Gaza.

Earlier that day Alid had attempted to murder another man, forcing his way into his room where he stabbed the man multiple times with a kitchen knife while shouting “Allan’s Snackbar”.

The man fought him off, at which point Alid ran into the street where he came upon Mr Carney, who was out for a regular early morning walk.

All this took place before Israel’s response to the Hamas attack, but Alid told the police his attack was in protest against Israel and the Gaza conflict.

Lessons will not be learned.

BBC News

Nominated by: Mingejuice Bottler

 

deserves a massive cunting.

I have a repair booked in with Domestic and General, and whilst that is ongoing I got a cheap phone as a spare to use in the interim. Unfortunately, the cheap phone comes with a different SIM (Vodafone as opposed to Tesco Mobile). Because of this, I can’t sign in to my account because I need to have a verification text sent to the number on my Tesco SIM.

I can’t tap to confirm that it’s me either because I need the broken phone to do that. Nor can I have a code sent to my email because I need to log in to my account to access it. Basically, if you lose your phone or your phone breaks you’re fucked.

Did Goolag really not think this through?

Nominated by Opinionated Cunt.