Speed bumps give me the right hump, the cunts.
Now I fully appreciate the original rationale behind putting these fucking miniature pyramids on urban roads; it was to ‘calm’ traffic, with the aim of reducing accidents and even saving lives. It was well meaning, right?
Well obviously I’m no expert on the subject, but I question whether they do achieve their goal to any significant extent, and I reckon that they may actually be more fucking trouble than they’re worth. As far as I can see, self-styled ‘real’ drivers of the ‘boy racer’ (and increasingly ‘girl racer’) persuasion see them as a challenge rather than a deterrent, and hurtle across them as though they’re on safari somewhere in a tank-like 4×4. On the other hand, your thoughtful, more responsible driver is mindful of the speed limit anyway, and if anything s/he probably finds the presence of these hulking obstructions every few yards to be a source of irritation and frustration, which might in turn lead to loss of concentration or even ‘road rage’. I’d also bet that humps are a factor in channelling traffic away from roads where they’re present onto those where they aren’t, just moving the speed management issue elsewhere, and increasing congestion in the process. It’s my view then that these lumps might not just be ineffective, but actually counter-productive.
In any case, any rational argument for speed bumps ultimately carries little weight with me. No, I readily admit that my loathing may seem pretty irrational; I just hate the personal discomfort that these cunts cause me. My Dacia is a sturdy little car, but let’s face it, it’s no BMW, and the suspension leaves, shall we say, something to be desired. Driving around my local suburban streets is like negotiating a bleeding obstacle course, and being constantly bumped up and down plays havoc with my aching back and joints (fuck knows what it does to the car). I can absolutely guarantee that I’ll be in a lot worse mood when I get out than when I got in, and I’ll bet I’m not the only one. Counter-productive, as I said.
If it was down to me, every one of these bastards would be ripped out tomorrow and consigned to the nearest landfill. Well, all bar one. This would be inserted up the arse of whoever came up with the idea in the first place, sideways.

Nominated by Ron Knee

Fucking PPI Claim Adverts need a colossal cunting. The adverts that appear on every cunting newspaper site. Always the same fucking cunts on the photos, holding up a credit card or a statement or whatever fucking else the cunts think they can cunting help you with for 35 cunting percent of your fucking money.

Jesus Christ in a Zeppelin, every cunt and their ancestral cunts know about PPI and the ease you can do a claim yourself. But no, these cunts home in on the fuckwits who probably had PPI on a fucking Wonga loan and because of the fucking interest rate are owed enough to buy Porsche and Brooklyn fucking Sunny Delight for the next decade.

If not the fucking adverts then the phone calls from Bryan who is obviously working from India and using an Indian accent to try and alleviate you of your fucking hard earned by going through the list of names he has on his fucking script in the hope you are one of them. Then for a nominal fee of 35% he can helping you claiming back your PPI.

All these cunts need whipping with a sock full of piss

Nominated by Dry Itchy Cunt

Yea, the British army AGAIN….
This time they’re cunts for becoming Islam’s bitch.
Now as before, I’d like to state that I consider the rank and file soldiers as heroes. By no means saints, but the best soldiers in the world, great patriots and something to be proud of.
BUT…
The top brass are gutless, spineless, lefty, pussies that I consider to be a FUCKING DISCRACE. They should be ashamed of themselves coz sure as hell, the rest of the country damn well is!
For those of you that haven’t had your piss boiled by this story yet, here’s the scandal…

Tommy Robinson bumped into a bunch of squaddies at a service station and they took selfies with him and…

Well actually that’s it.

However…
The muSLIME council of Britain decided that this was unacceptable, so told the army to punish the soldiers that had committed these terrible atrocities.
Did the army laugh their bollocks off and tell em “fuckin make me you smelly cunts”?

No.

They confiscated the troops’ phones, launched an investigation and even discharged one.

PUSSIES.

Discharging a young soldier, ruining his career and depriving the country of another warrior, just because some nobody cunt has hurt feelings is tantamount to treason and it brings a shame on what used to be the best army on the planet.

I honestly can’t believe what’s happening to our army. It beggars belief. First we had those fucking ridiculous adverts about praying and crying (I enjoyed cunting them very much). Then the adverts about “you can always get a good hug in the army”… (!?)
Now the army are taking orders from the Muslim cuntcil of britanibad…

Ok well if you want to suck up to the peacefuls, may I suggest that you start recruiting from their ranks? I notice that you’re already trying. How’s that going?
Pretty soon the army are going to lose the ability to recruit from the white working class, and will only be able to recruit from lefty cock gobblers, carpet munchers, peacefuls and communist sympathisers…
On that day we’re fucked. When the army is lost, so is our entire way of life.

So I guess there are 2 choices now.
Vladimir of Mohammed…

…Pour me a vodka and boil me some turnips.

Nominate by Deploy the Sausage