are cunts.

Hallo nochmal, meine kleinen Biertrinker

It all started quite a while ago
.
When there was an earthquake somewhere the news people would all say “… and that measured 5.6 on the Richter scale”.

Don`t know about you, but how many other fucking earthquake scales do you know? Now they just say “magnitude 5.6”– it took about 70 years for them to drop the `Richter` bit.

What has persisted though are a few annoyingly (to me) random phrases.

Cliché №1 – An area the size of Wales.

Unfortunately, I know where Wales is, but I have absolutely no fucking idea how big the thing is. But suppose this story was going out internationally; how many Americans would know what the size of Wales is? How many Americans would know where Wales is, for that matter? I suppose they could change it to “an area the size of Texas”. And we`re back to square one.

Cliché №2 – The weight of about 4 elephants.

African or Indian? Male or female? How many London double-decker buses does that equate to? As if suddenly the penny drops when they use that comparison – Ja!, it all makes sense, now I know how heavy that thing is when you compared it to the elephants!

I won`t go on, but I`m sure you catch my drift.

I do know this, though. Most of the Kinder who pass for `journalists` these days after doing a YouTube course via soshullmeeedia possess the journalistic knowledge of a whelk. Or, to put it another way, the knowledge all of them have could be all tattooed on the balls of an ant.

Poland, of course, is a different matter

bbcnews

Nominated by Adolph Schicklgrüüber, seconded by Geordie Twatt.

I would like to second Herr Schicklgruber’s nomination of Meaningless Dimensional Comparators with three of my own:

1. Football pitches
Flabbott’s/Nugee’s/Lizzo’s bloomers cover the same area as 14 football pitches.

2. Double decker buses end to end
Flabbott’s/Nugee’s/Lizzo’s bloomers would cover 50 double decker buses parked end to end.

3. Times around the world
The elastic from Flabbott’s/Nugee’s/Lizzo’s bloomers, stretched to its limit, would go 3 times round the world.

Pointless drivel churned out for those whose cerebral development came to a grinding halt in kindergarten, eh Adolph?

are cunts.

Check out the Temu croissant lamp:

tiktok

We’ve all bought Chinese knock off crap from the tiny men with fiendish yellow brains, or so I am told. But who would have imagined they would be dipping breakfast pastries in plastic and knocking them out for under a tenner? Brilliant.

Of course, any croissant lamp that uses an actual croissant is definitely a fake. A real croissant lamp costs around £90.00.

The possibilities for making a few quid seem limitless. Maybe one day there will be a cunt lamp…

Nominated by Twenty Thousand Cunts Under the Sea.

The targetted killing of young girls dancing was definitely not a Terrorist Act.
Oh no. Certainly not. Perish the thought. Islam is religion of peace. Dont take my word for it, listen to the Imams and Justin Welsby.
Muslims would never do that. Good thing Kweer dealt with the rioters who had this mistaken idea.

Hang on. What’s this?:

”The teenager accused of murdering three young girls in Southport has been charged with producing the poison ricin and possessing a military study of an al-Qaeda training manual.”

al-Qaeda? That’s one of those Far Right groups isnt it? Doesnt Tommy Robinson (real name Yoko Ono) head it up?

The cops knew this on day one. The PM would certainly know. (Kweer Charmer)
So what was all this 2 tier justice about? Releasing sex offenders etc so that daft yobbos could do real time.

Fishy as fuck.

bbcnews

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble.

Hair by lego, C.A.

Becky is a gobby cunt isn’t she?

I can’t remember who said it (a German philosopher, I think) “If Socialists knew about economics, they wouldn’t be Socialists”. That seems very true for Rachel from Accounts. She did allow a “penny off a pint of beer”, no doubt because Sir Keir loves beer so much, but she must have thought it was 1959 again, when such largesse was so popular with Daily Mirror readers. I only read about the budget, I can’t stand her Estuary whine. So much for Starmer saying a few weeks ago “no more money for the NHS”, Becky had other ideas and yet more money will be poured into the bottomless pit, and as a coda Streeting got a ticking off for heckling Sunak, which was clearly stage managed since the Deputy Speaker said he had “promised not to do it” – Streeting the little sodomite with a big mouth – still thinking he is the leader of the National Union of Students. A typical spend and borrow Labour budget which will cause unemployment and maximum damage which the Conservatives will have to clean up when Team Twat leave office in four years time.

But there she was – the trade mark shiny slacks at half mast, the self congratulation for having a cunt, as well as being one, and not one of those plastic ones Eddie Izzard has.

The first “Lady” chancellor – for this week anyway.

I won’t insult you by providing a link – just look at any newspaper dated 31st October 2024, or listen to the BBC creaming it’s collective knickers.

bbcnews

Nominated by W C Boggs.

(Becky was giving the Mansion House speech this week, oh joy – Day Admin)

is a cunt.

Hi guys, been a while, hope your all well.
I would like to nominate Amanda Holden, you may think WTF but bare with me, I love a pretty face, there are many Kate Beckinsdale Salma Hayek to name a few, either one of which I would crawl across a hundred yards of broken glass just to shit in her handbag.

However, then you have these sad, has been plastic, taxidermied, attention seeking slags on the last gasp of a career who will say,do,pose absolutely any excuse for a like on fbook, step forward Katey price, Carol Vauderman,Cluadia Wankleman, Lilly fucking Allen, you get the idea.

The one I really take umbrage with however is this absolute skank Amanda Holden, doesn’t seem to matter if im on line, watching telly, even the radio, this spunktrumpet just keeps popping up in various states of undress, flashing her freshly put on knickers while the pair she has just taken off stink up her handbag, unless of course she keeps doggy bags ready her her next arranged/ surprise photo opportunity, honestly I have seen more of this nipped, tucked, pumped whore surgically copied from her daughters waaaaayyy younger body than i have seen of my own, it doesn’t matter how many pages i block or mark as not fucking interested, there she is again.
Nobody appreciates a pretty form more than me, but now im wishing a nasty infection on her.

Doesn’t help of course this fucker has the morals of an alley cat, has had a charisma bypass operation whenever criticised, is I total narcissist that would put that other uber cunt Me, again Sparkle to shame.
So its time for the old cougar to realise, making yourself look younger dosnt actually make you younger and no amount of gash flashing is going to change that, yes you have a gifted taxidermist, but in this day and age so what, just try and enjoy what life you have left and stop ramming your remodelled tits into everyones faces , especially mine, so fuck off, bon voyage you over exposed old attention seeking cunt, honestly im sick of the sight/sound of her…….

Daily Star

Nominated by Fuglyucker.