I can imagine the panic the flunkies at buck house flew into when this idea was floated.

‘fuck me, this list HAS to keep EVERYONE happy guys…..this is going to be a major task. Then we have to brief the King on everyone on his list so he has a reasonable understanding as to who they are when quizzed. It HAS to include all ethnicities, religions, genders, and the commonwealth’

‘but, isn’t it the Kings list, not ours?’

‘fuck off…we can’t have him upsetting people by leaving certain ones out’

‘but shouldn’t it be a genuine list of the music he likes?’

‘don’t be fucking stupid……it’s a list to keep everyone happy, whether he likes them or not’

‘but that’s not an accurate reflection is it?’

‘no, but nowadays accuracy is less important than inclusiveness, so that’s how it’s going to be, OK?’

‘but, that’s bollocks’

‘yup’

Call me cynical, but when this list was released none of the content came as any surprise to me. The only person that should have been surprised was the King when he saw it and thought….who the fuck are half these, I’ve never heard of them.

bbcnews

Nominated by Chuff Chugger.

There are a few life skills that everyone should have.

Being able to swim.
You never know when you might need to.
Being able to drive a manual car.
Even if you don’t own one or have a daily need for one.

But perhaps the most basic and important life skill is being able to prepare food for yourself and your family.

The type of person that readily admits to not being able to cook or who is a self confessed bad cook is a cunt.

A coherent family is a thing of the past, with all children and most parents permanently glued to their mobile phones or watching some shit on the television.

Conversation is all but lost.
The daily ritual of gathering around the table to share a home prepared meal has now gone down the shitter.

Instead whole families go to cheap burger joints, sometimes several times a week to eat crap.
Many don’t even venture inside these places as that would be far too much bother.
So instead they use the drive-through and eat the rubbish that they have brought in their cars.

If they are going to eat at home then their food is delivered in cardboard boxes by an illegal immigrant on a moped.
They then sit on the settee, around the television to eat the stuff.

There will come a time when the family table becomes redundant and homes will be built without kitchens.

Mrs Cunter went to stay with her brother and his fat, lazy wife.
There was fuck all in their kitchen except sweets and crisps.
The fridge had nothing in except bars of chocolate.
Everything they wanted to eat was delivered, including coffee to drink.

For them it was not a question of not being able to cook, they just couldn’t be bothered.

We eat out a few times a week.
Nowhere that does fast food.
The rest of the time we buy fresh food and prepare it at home.

The last time I went to a fast food restaurant was in the UK when McDonald’s opened their take away on Kensington High Street.
That was back in the 70’s.
And it was shit.

I have lived where I am for decades and I have never had food delivered or even brought a ready meal from a supermarket.

That’s because cooking is easy.
There are millions of recipes on the Internet.
It’s fun to look up a new way of preparing something you fancy, sourcing the ingredients and cooking them.

You can get a lot of satisfaction from preparing and sharing food.

Can’t Cook?
So you can’t look after yourself or your family, you can’t follow a simple set of instructions which is a recipe, or perhaps you are just a lazy cunt?

bbcnews

Nominated by The Artful Cunter. Link by Jeezum Priest.

are cunts.

I pass through Hastings on a daily basis – the road works and road closures have brought this busy seaside town to a standstill. The past few months have been utter chaos: multiple road works, long queues of traffic, and yet …. potholes everywhere. Truth be known, there has been traffic chaos for over SIX MONTHS. Take a look at Google Traffic on weekdays – Hastings is a total disaster. Red everywhere.

The biggest culprit has to be the the “Queensway Gateway” roadworks. This work should have been completed nearly a decade ago, but only started in September last year! The works were supposed to finish by the end of December 2024 – now the completion date is “Spring 2025”. Hundreds of motorists are being forced to drive along third-world country lanes littered with potholes. Stonestile Lane? More like PigSty Lane! The farcical situation has caused many people to arrive late for work, and lots of patients at the Conquest Hospital have been late for appointments. Local businesses have lost millions, according to the local MP.

Nominated by Chunder Cloud.

is a cunt.

Yes, this country is fucked. We all know it’s fucked on this site don’t we.

In fact anybody with eyes ears and a couple of brain cells can see that this country is fucked.

Anyways, while grafting away on my lonesome today listening to 6 music (I know I know), I heard this little gem of information on the news bulletin.

bbcnews

Unbelievable.

We have a young lad of 20 odd who’s been working with us for the last 6 months and has recently decided to have himself a nice month off on the sick.

Apparently the first day off was because he felt poorly with his tummy (bless his cotton socks) Then it somehow and rather bizarrely morphed into a surgical procedure on a completely unrelated body part altogether that was required. (according to mummy)

Apart from a sick note from his GP, I have little or no idea what’s actually wrong with the little cunt.

He’s offered fuck all in the way of any real explanation or anything like it when I asked him when he was planning on popping back in to see us apart from “errhhhmm….it depends what the doctor says next week innit”

I’ve since seen him out and about in the car thinking that I hadn’t seen him – plus I’ve more than a sneaking feeling that there’s fuck all actually wrong with him.

The reason for my gripe is that as a very small business, we absolutely can’t afford to carry workshy piss weak lazy cunts.

From my experience this age group is absolutely appalling and once this particular cunt gets his marching orders, I don’t think I’ll bother shopping around in that age demographic again.

I would add that this cunts mother (who is a few years younger than myself) Is a complete attention seeking hypochondriac who posts her miserable life and various ailments on social media quite regularly.

I should have known what a cunt him and his mother were a while back when he informed me in casual conversation that he’d had three Covid jabs at the age of 16 in order to protect mummy “who nearly died of Covid don’t you know”

Yeah of course she fucking did.

The apple never falls far from the tree as they say.

Anyways, the purpose of this cunting is snowflakes, hypochondriacs and the nanny state which enables their behaviour.

The disastrous 2020 lockdowns have pretty much primed these workshy drips into being ill, depressed, anxious or whatever the fuck else at the first sign of adversity, for the rest of their sorry lives probably.

If this is the generation that’s following ours then we are royally screwed.

Anyways, back to it and Good Afternoon.

Nominated by Herman Jelmet.

Get the violins and the Kleenex paper hankies out as you read the sad story of 21 year old Millie Saxton who is whining that she “only gets £3000” and she has three children and a TikTok account to support. She is supported in her self pity by a young mother of five. I suggest they seal up the entrance to their quims or embrace sodomy if they are so fertile.

Really in this day and age, nobody need have children – free contraceptives are available from many health centres and GP surgeries (mine dish them out on Friday afternoons).

Irresponsible young trollops like this really anger me – she is so entitled, but just look at her? – she would hardly induce me to tear down her knickers, even if I were fifty years younger. Four eyed, looks like she might run to fat and probably as coarse as cattle cake. No oil painting is she? – well, she could be Whistler’s mother.

express

Nominated by W C Boggs.