How the mighty are fallen. Time was when the old pansy of Islington, Peter Mandelson struck fear into the hearts of journalists as he minced round the TV studios. His unctuous voice, even if it sounded as if he were sucking a cock, while he spoke, commanded, ney, demanded attention.

Just a few months ago after it turned out he was best chums with the American paedo Jeffery Epstein, the queen of New Labour lost his crown, and he lost his third government job – the late 1990s and early 2000s revisited.

Now, with his reputation (such as it was) in tatters, the pompous old poof has been reduced to drink, and pissing in the street against a strangers wall. I bet he was only sorry little Wes wasn’t passing by to lick him dry.

Daily Fail.

Nominated by : W. C. Boggs

“I think I’m in love,C.A.

“Good afternoon. This is IsAC’s political correspondent Ron Knee. I’m joined now by Chancellor Rachel Reeves, to discuss the ramifications of her Autumn budget. Thanks for joining us Rachel, or *snicker* may I call you ‘Thievin’?”

“Beast! Can’t you say something nice? *Sob* I’m going to cry again…”

“Something nice? Well let’s see… erm, you’ve got a great arse. I’d love to-”

“You awful sexist beast *sniffle*. I’m going to report you to the police for hate crime!”

“Blimey, how can saying your arse is fabulous be hateful? Anyway, least said, soonest mended. Now about the budget…”

“Keir says it was a positive triumph. A budget for the people. A budget for Britain!”

“Hang on. A budget for Britain? Growth down the toilet, inflation up, unemployment up, borrowing and debt at record levels, more broken promises on tax, another massive transfer of resources from those in work to those shirking at home and churning out kids, that’s a budget for the people?”

“Well look, times are hard. I fixed the public finances in my first budget and said I wouldn’t be back for more, except that now I am. But it’s not my fault. It’s all the fault of Brexit. And Covid. And the war in Ukraine. And fourteen years of gross mismanagement by the Tories. And economic headwinds”

“I see. Erm, what exactly are ‘economic headwinds’ anyway?”

“Well let me make sure I’ve got this right. They’re challenges or obstacles that hinder economic growth, such as global uncertainty. Or something. That’s what they tell me to say anyway, those people at the Treasury. So you see, any Chancellor would be standing here now, saying the same thing, it’s not my fault”

“So what’s your message to the increasingly hard-pressed, demoralised, and angry citizens, the workers and entrepreneurs who make up alarm clock Britain?”

“My message is that somebody’s got to pay more so that the feckless on Benefits Street can lounge about watching ‘Homes Under the Hammer’, eating pizza, drinking and smoking, and having more kids. Somebody’s got to pay to fund all those billions we spend on illegal migrants, net zero projects and foreign aid. This is what our rabid back benchers want, so dig deep, shut the hell up and get on with it”

“Well thank you Chancellor. Perhaps we’ll be here having the same conversation this time next year. But more likely not… Anyway, for now, this is Ron Knee, for IsAC, returning you to the studio”

the sun

Nominated by Ron Knee.

We’re all more than used to news reports which leave us with feelings of disbelief, anger, regret or disgust. I’m sure you’ll all know where I’m coming from. But occasionally, along comes a story so downright appalling that it leaves me simply shaking with revulsion and rage. The case of little Sara Sharif is one such case.

Ten year old Sara was murdered in her family home in Woking in August 2023. Before her death she had been subjected to systematic abuse and violence of the most appalling kind by members of her own family, namely her father Urfan Sharif, her stepmother Beinash Batool, and her uncle Faisal Malik. I’ll forego providing further details of the extent of Sara’s injuries; suffice it to say that at the subsequent trial of the accused, the judge described the treatment meted out to her as ‘torture’.

An independent so-called ‘safeguarding’ review has since identified a catalogue of failures and missed opportunities to protect little Sara on the part of the appropriate authorities. Amid all the usual ‘thoughts and prayers’ and ‘lessons will be learned’ bullshit, there’s clear official culpability here.

But let’s not be deflected from pointing the finger at those who are REALLY responsible for this outrage. The blame for this lies squarely in the hands of those family members whose very duty it was to supply a loving and secure home for a helpless child. I hesitate to label this trio as cunts, because that flatters them. No, these creatures are evil, sick monsters. Devils.

At the conclusion of the trial, these beasts were banged up for a total of 89 years at HM’s pleasure, and are currently being kept at your expense and mine. Personally I’d opt for a swifter, cleaner solution involving a sturdy tree and three strong lengths of rope. This is a view with which I’m sure many cunters will concur; unless, of course, you think that hanging’s too good for the bastards.

Sly News.

Nominated by : Ron Knee

what a cunt show.

I’m in a bit of a divided frame of mind at the moment. I don’t know whether to piss myself laughing as the vultures gather around our useless cunt of a PM, or be very afraid that he’ll get turfed out and be replaced by an even bigger lobby.

I think that it goes without saying that the majority of the British people can now see Sir TwoTierFreeGearNeverHere Stasi for the lying, sleazy, cowardly hypocrite that he is. It’s also becoming clearer by the day that most of his own party think that he’s a dead man walking, as the stories emerge that several Liebour big cheeses are ‘on manoeuvre’, and positioning themselves for a leadership challenge. Then only question seems to be when, not if.

Now as I said at the outset, I’d normally be wetting my knickers laughing as Liebour starts to eat itself, under normal circumstances the entertainment value would be enormous. But here’s the issue; if Stasi does go, who comes in to replace the weaselling fucker?

Let’s have a look at those names currently being bandied about as Stasi’s possible replacement if the party which he laughingly insists is ‘united’ actually does the dastardly deed and slips in the shiv? Well how about Wes ‘Starmer Lite’ Streeting? Not sure how well he’ll go down with the loony left nutters in the party. Shabanana Mahmood? She talks the talk, but we’re all waiting for her to walk the walk, and I doubt she ever will.

It gets worse. There’s Angela ‘Three Pads’ Rayner for fuck’s sake, the woman who only recently had to resign in disgrace over failure to pay stamp duty on her house in Brighton, but who still appears to be revered as some sort of prodigal daughter by the unreconstructed hardliners in the party. And then… *shudder* and then we have the utterly appalling prospect of ‘Mad Ed’ Millipede, net zero crazy, who seems to be far and away the most popular choice amongst the party membership to take over.

So there you go, take your choice folks. You can either roll about laughing as Liebour’s civil war over the leadership gets worse, or you can shake under the duvet at the prospect of Rayner or Miliband as Prime Minister.

I’m actually beginning to think that it might be the lesser of two very great evils if ol’ TwoTier manages to hold on after all. Better the absolute arseholing cunt that you know and all that. What a state of affairs.

express

Nominated by Ron Knee.

Have you been reading your thesaurus Jeezum? C.A.

This absolutely boils my piss.

Let me introduce you to Connor Batty, shot dead at age 26. Of course, let’s ignore the fact that he, and three other thugs forcibly entered the home of a 60 year old man, who in fairness wasn’t a saint, intent on stealing the drugs and money stored there.

” He had a heart of gold ” wails one fan.
” Top Lad, gone too soon ” bleats another.

bbcnews

No he didn’t, no he wasn’t.
He was a vicious, amoral thug, who was sentenced to 35 months in 2022 for a stabbing, and had plenty of previous.

In fairness to the immediate family, they have issued a dignified statement asking for time to grieve and speculation to stop.

No, the elevation to sainthood comes from so called friends, grief jacking shite hawks that they are, otherwise known as cunts.

Nomination by Jeezum Priest.