Women drivers and mobile phones (8)

What is it with women and mobile phones when they are behind the wheel of a car?
I spotted at least five of the fairer sex today whilst stuck in traffic. Shifty furtive glances down to their laps, eyes wandering around, then a quick glance up to see if the car in front has moved, then eyes down to check faecesbook or whatever shit is on the screen in their lap. Repeat this action at least half a dozen times until the jam has cleared and traffic flowing.
They must think we are all fucking stupid and don’t know what they are up to.

‘I know I’ll hide the phone between the legs when driving, I won’t miss that important faecesbook or Twatter update… A quick look down won’t hurt every now and then’…

Now not to condone it, but at least white van and delivery drivers have the thing to their ear or go hands free when in transit.These fucking women are NOT taking or making important life or death calls, and anyhow can’t a call wait till safe and legal, as the saying goes?….these witless bints are most likely on the return leg of the school run and are just checking antisocial fucking media, nothing that can’t wait until they’ve stopped driving their  6 tonne killing machines around the place.

Cunts the lot of them.

Nominated by. LeonardoDiCunty

76 thoughts on “Women drivers and mobile phones (8)

  1. See they have a challenge to balance their nurturing, caring side with their childish I’ll do what I want side. It’s just like prostitution. It’s fucking dangerous and associated with drugs, but don’t dare try to tell any of them that they can’t “choose” to do it, and don’t every try to make them feel bad about it. It’s their customers fault, oh I mean “predators”.

    More amusing is the middle classes. While others scream “don’t tell me what to do” if you so much as look at them, the middle classes have certain rules, and obeying certain safety protocols is one of them. So they will advocate for not using mobiles while driving them, to the point where many of them wont. But not the young ones. I often drive near a certain head office where there are many under 40 women in ostensibly sophisticated jobs, whenever I see them drive out of the car park almost always they are messaging someone.

    If one of them hit a child while doing so the most horrendous case of cross purposes will occur, causing a severe situation involving self-awareness and responsibility. This leads to the lesser known third situation – starting a charity to raise awareness for road safety. Because whatever happens theres always got to he something in it for you right?

    Don’t expect most of them to stop any time soon. They want to keep in touch with their friends so that’s what their gonna do, and screw anyone that thinks differently.

    • Thing is, it’s not exactly about keeping in touch with friends, it’s a pathological social pacifier. Something to distract them from what’s really going on in their lives while signaling to the world “I’m very busy and important “.
      In fairness, I’ll add that in my cunting corner of the world, lots of female drivers apply makeup AND check fucking phones while driving. Gifted, multitasking cunts!

    • “Under 40s wimmin in ostensibly sophisticated jobs…”

      Twenty quid for the maid, please, and it’s right at the top of the stairs!

  2. Where any of them of the variety I call “Little Shrew Women”? That being, the little tiny petite 4ft stuck up toffee nosed poison dwarves that drive big fuck off 4x4s with bull bars… Just to take diminutive little Finlay to Primary School every morning and fetch him afternoon… These little tarts are everywhere just keep your eyes peeled, they stick out a mile… Usually wear white trousers or white jeans and have that spiked up, cut short hairdo if you know what I mean… They often wear sunglasses whatever the weather… Slappers… Right, I am off to fire XHamster up..

  3. You see these wimmin all over the place… More kids than Fagin, and said kids have more colours than jelly babies (are all these tarts that have one black kid and and one white one promoting diversity? Because there’s fucking loads of them!), and while their mini black and white minstrel show runs amok these daft bitches are on their prized i-phones either talking babbling crap to another silly cow or looking at social cunting media…. Cunts….

    • Have they cleaned behind the fridge-freezer recently? I doubt it.

  4. Look at this cunt….

    First of all. why is this fucking news?!

    Second: what a freeloading cunt…

    Third: “I started crying when I saw the messages. I’m not even ashamed to admit that. I couldn’t believe what lengths he had gone to for me and Bobbi.”? Typical blubbering social media ‘modern man/parent’ fairyboy of a cunt….


    • I’m sorry but anybody who calls his brat “BOBBI” is a fucking wanker who is asking for the cunt to grow up a trannie.
      Also, Bobbi looks like a little shit and I would like to kick his smug little face in. Sorry.

    • Crying?? Fuckin man/child soft cock!! …..
      There’s no doubt wimmin are a fuckin nuisance on the roads, from turning round to talk to their kids whilst driving to constantly checking their i phones for the latest gossip!!
      They say wimmin are experts at multi tasking? This appears to be a complete inability to focus properly on one thing and do two or three things badly at the same time….. Great skill……..😂

    • The Cunt is probably disappointed that his strange looking brat hasn’t got a good,solid illness. Then he could have really gone wild with a GoFundMe page to send “Bobbi the Angel” on the trip of his tragic life.
      Begging spongers.

    • How pathetic. Not just of this soft cunt’s behaviour over some shitty tickets but also the Al-BBC for reporting on more irrelevant shite. What a state to get into over something so minor. Some parents have to deal with dying children. This baldy bitch is crying and having a paddy because he can’t get his spoilt son tickets to a match that will probably be rigged anyway by UEFA crook cunts. What a cunt.

      • The father’ll probably have sold the free tickets on ebay long before then.

      • Virus attack…

        Does that mean no free wi-fi, or a fatal outbreak of something that’s broken out of a state laboratory ??

  5. The fact is women cannot shut the fuck up. Have you ever known a woman who can watch tv, sit on a plane, a train or in a car with other people and not keep rabbiting on and fucking on and fucking on about complete and utter bollocks? They just HAVE to fucking talk they can’t fucking shut up.
    One of the most frightening experiences of my life was sitting in the back of a car with two women in the front. Not only can they not stop talking but they keep turning to look at each other! You want to scream, “keep your fucking eyes on the road!!!!!” but you know they will both turn round to tell you to stop moaning. It’s a fucking nightmare!
    It’s hardly surprising, therefore, that women driving on their own have to keep checking their phone. No doubt they are talking to themselves about all the gossip and bollocks they are reading on their phone.
    Some clever cunt needs to invent some device, programmed with info about all the bitches they know, all the slebs they want to gossip about, that can conduct inane chatter with them as they drive. At least they would keep their fucking eyes on the road ( you hope ).
    Personally, I wouldn’t let them drive in the first place. Hey!….the Muzzies do have SOME good ideas, the cunts!

    • Wouldn’t stop them waving (at least) one arm about to emphasise their stream-of consciousness raving. Truly terrifying if you’re a passenger.

      • Stream of Cuntishness.

        A new literary device, in fact the backbone of everything Moaning “Owen” Jones has ever written.

  6. Last week a women in a Range Rover whilst on her mobile went straight across without stopping or giving way a double mini roundabout which many seemingly find dangerous to negotiate. Needless to say I and another driver both hooted her however she did not even bother to look or acknowledge and remained totally oblivious. Selfish dangerous bitch.

    The previous week twice nearly taken out on the same roundabout to drivers not giving way. Both women.

    What is it with women and roundabouts? Cupid stunts.

    • Because roundabouts require strictly following very simple rules, and … you know the rest.

    • Agreed! Women can’t seem to grasp roundabouts. Every time I’ve ever been cut up on a roundabout it was by a woman…. Save one time by a fella who had his mobile glued to his head. I’ve been involved in an accident on a roundabout which was caused by…… Drum roll…. A woman!

      I still maintain that ALL driving test instructor’s cars should be fitted with HD audio and video capability both internally and externally to prevent the whole business of “I’ll suck your dick for a pass but if you don’t pass me I’ll report you for sexual assault!” over time we’ll see a huge reduction in women drivers and any who do pass will do so on merit.

    • Roundabouts are a direct scale model of what’s going on inside a woman’s mind. It’s no wonder they can’t navigate them without a physical or emotional shitstorm.

      Just yesterday I got cut up by some bint deciding she would cut across me to get to her exit, forcing me to slam the brakes. Somehow she managed to turn her body towards me and shrug with both arms too, and navigate the final turn. She could make that final impossible stunt driving moment.. but not have the brains to just go round once more now that she knows where the hell she needs to go. Lucky cunt.

  7. The Gays are worse. They set their phones to vibrate,shove them up their shit-shutes and then make enquiries about double glazing and accident compensation on their computers in the hope that they will be deluged by cold-callers.
    This is why so many of The Gays are “light on their feet”,the constantly vibrating phone frightens the gerbils and until The Fruity gentleman can get some help from his partner to tempt the gerbil out,he cannot sit comfortably. The average Gay uses a carrot to tempt the gerbil out,apparently…at least that’s what they claim. This is also why The Gays bulk-buy carrots at supermarkets. If you happen to see a pair of husbands buying carrots,don’t be frightened to ask them if they are using it to tempt the gerbil out of the partner’s lower colon. This is also why I never buy vegetables,but grow my own. I dread to think what these rampant rump-raiders would be liable to do let loose in a greengrocers,there wouldn’t be a carrot or cucumber left unmolested.
    Tom Daley reverses onto marrows.

    • Well DF I think you’ve covered that off , I was just about to ask about gay peoples mobile phone usage….. 😂😂

    • You have not explained how the gerbils got up there in the first place. Do they naturally gravitate toward the Gay poop shute?

      • They hide rounds of Edam cheese,the big rounds not the little ones,up there. Gerbils love cheese and once tempted past the ringpiece The Gay springs his trap and rams a honeydew melon up his poop-pipe to prevent the poor rodent escaping…Really, RTC, I shouldn’t have to be explaining The Gay Danger . However,if it falls to me to educate the population on the danger of Gays,rodents and vegetables all colliding…well.so be it.

      • Rounds of Edam cheese,RTC,the big rounds,not the little babybells. They hide them up the exhaust pipe and when the poor rodent gets beyond the ringpiece they stick a honeydew melon up there to trap him.
        The dangers of Gays,rodents and vegetables colliding cannot be overstated.

      • Ah… Edam cheese… that’s what wimmins brains are made of, isn’t it?

      • All the public improvement films are funny as hell, as is Mr Cholmondley Warner.

      • I’ve locked the office door and have instructed my secretarial team to deny my existence while I examine your claim.

      • Hopeless. The PC police heard the laughter and got me at the Yorkshireman sketch.

    • Why cant they make stuff like the Fast Show etc anymore? Comedy seems to have gone the way of popular music. I suppose the professionally offended will drown it out with their outrage.

  8. I’ve noticed something in the last 10 years…

    Back in the day, if some cunt was hanging off your rear bumper (most often in a fucked, red XR3i) it was always a lad – a “Ted” (A Shithead).
    Nowadays it’s ALWAYS a young lass rammed up your tailpipe, itching to get past, an inch off your bumper, all manner of furry objects strewn across the dashboard, phone in lap. Female “driver” – every time

    Does that (surely sexist) insurance company Sheila’s Wheels still pander to the fairer sex ?

    • A furry object an inch off my bumper is too far away, but still interesting. Not if it’s itching, though.

    • Am praying that Camillaaaah will get booted terminally in the cunt on Saturday, by HRH Phil TG.

  9. What about the Jamie Carragher shit storm? Carragher is a bit of a cunt and also a dirty bugger for spitting but what about the bloke who was winding him up? Filming and provoking someone on the motorway with a child in the car; whilst paying no attention to the road. Great parenting. If the cunt hasn’t yet been done for this then he should be for sure.

  10. Slightly off point…..
    here’s something to look out for next time your stuck behind a woman at supermarket checkout, they never appear to have their purse out ready to pay!! When all shoppings packed cashier tells them “ that’s 57.50 please “ at that point the purse search starts!! Pocket? No handbag? No where can it be??
    FFS!! Unless your expecting Tesco to simply wave your bill GET ya fuckin purse out ready to PAY!!! 😡😡

    • This really pisses me off on the rare occasion I catch a bus. In any queue there will be blokes standing there with the fare in their hands. Then the fucking woman gets on and starts rummaging around in the skip they carry about even though they’ve been standing in the queue as well, doing fuck all for the previous 20 minutes (except, of course, the obligatory Fuckbook/Twatter roaming). Was it really too much to get the fucking money ready then?

      • Exactly my point M63
        Just replace supermarket checkout with any other queue where payment is required!!
        Another place of ineptitude used to be the dartford bridge before pre pay!! There were signs 3 miles out telling motorists of the charge to pay!
        I used it everyday for 5 years, can’t tell you how many times I was behind a woman looking for her purse at the kiosk!! Holding up the tidal wave of traffic…….

      • In the case of the old toll booths at the Dartford bridge, the money will be in the purse, which is inside the handbag, which is in the boot, which is locked.

        I have seen this a number of times, as the soppy tart gets out of the car and goes for a two minute rummage in the boot and then proudly wields the discovered purse as if it were Excalibur.

        Returning the purse to the handbag, which is in the boot, which is locked (again) is the reverse of finding it.

        Still takes them another two minutes do to this.

        And anothe 90 seconds to get back in the car, get the seatbelt on, get comfy and then remember that they put the car keys back in the handbag, which is in the boot etc etc etc.

        Stupid fucking splitarses.

      • 100% correct OB!!
        What the fuck! It’s wasn’t a secret that it was a fuckin TOLL BRIDGE!! It’s not like there wasn’t plenty of SIGNS!! Daft cows……

  11. Great cunting LDC, by the way. I, like many, have had to deal with shite women drivers. I was driving my truck down a one way street. ONE WAY. To my disbelief, this silly tart was driving straight towards me. She was driving the wrong way down a one way street and she was on her phone of course. Paying no attention. I bibbed her on the old horn and told her it was one way. I wasn’t rude to her, neither was I aggressive. She reversed (very slowly and poorly) and then just before driving off she had the fucking nerve to put her finger up at me and shout some abuse. I would have liked to have shoved my finger right up her arse. Or maybe even one of the tools I had in the back. Unfortunately, she had the kids in the car. Maybe I should have made them watch though and told them their mother was a cunt.

  12. And now an exclusive report from your esteemed ISAC Royal News Correspondent.

    Oh how convenient – embarrassing father just happens to be having heart surgery three days before ‘butter wouldn’t melt up her chuff’ daughter’s wedding. Not that I give a fuck, but why would anyone with a brain bigger than even half a peanut believe any of this bread and circuses so called news?

    Ali Snackbar them.

  13. Lammy on R4 this morning. Outraged. It seems as many as 60 may have been deported back since 2004. Half of which were criminals. Yes, 2004. Outrage. What a cunt.
    There is no issue with the Home Office being fucking useless. And it goes back before 2004 because no party has ever sorted the fuckers out. So not clear what this cunt is outraged about.
    The cunt.

  14. Had one these imbecilicunts shunt the back of me. It was the quintessential essence of young cunting female drivers today.

    There I was, stationary in the middle lane approaching a roundabout. Traffic occassionally crawling forward as the lights turn green for precisely 4.7 seconds (cunting planners!). I glance in my mirror and see that familiar sight of a young bint starring down between her legs like some poor retarded child. So I watch, wondering what her personality will be: the cheeky 2 second gander? The look around suspiciously every 4 seconds cunt? After about 7 seconds, without looking up once, she drives forward and brands my bumper with a VW logo. I couldn’t fucking believe it.

    Her excuse was the two outer lanes had started crawling so she blindly assumed our lane was too. Which it wasn’t. Fucking rush hour, hottest day last summer, I was thrilled she had bestowed her genius on me and my car.

    She did (eventually) pay for the bumper to be fixed.

  15. Of the two serious car crashes I have been involved in (neither of them my fault), both were caused by women.

    First one when I was about 20, some dozy bint came at me straight down the middle of the road and hit me head on.

    The last thing I remember was the moment of impact when the bonnet came back with such force that it shattered the windscreen.

    I still have a dodgy shoulder where thr belt caught me twenty odd years later.

    Turns out she had no tax, MoT or insurance, but was still trying to make out it was somehow my fault…… Until I offered to involve the police. She shut the fuck up at that point and agreed to replace my car that she just wrote off.

    The second one had a cracking pair of tits, but that isn’t the point.

    Sat stationary at a set of (red) lights, I noticed a car coming up behind with startling velocity.

    She didn’t even bother braking before ramming the back of my car and shunting me into the middle of the junction.

    Turns out she was trying to send a text at the time of impact.

    That one took five years to resolve, because her insurer wouldn’t believe the amount of damage done to her car (write off) going by the posted speed limit on that road, the damage done to my shoulder (fucked, again) and the fact that she denied she was ever fucking about on the phone at the time.
    Until I agreed to show up in court and tell my side of the story.
    Her insurer dropped it like a hot potato within a week.

    Stupid tart.

  16. Currently cunting –
    It’s rush hour. Slow Tractor Man with oversize worzel-grinder attachment on 5 twisty miles of B road @25 to 30 mph. Immediately behind Slow Tractor Man, nullifying all chances of a safe overtake of the former, is Slow Tractor Man’s Mate, in a pickup containing spare worzel-grinder sprockets and grommets. Immediately behind them is Phone Woman, who alternates falling 100 yards behind Slow Tractor Man’s Mate (to let someone know she’s in the car) with tailgating him when the road straightens out and threatening to overtake him, but not doing so, rendering any initiatives by the 5-mile long queue behind her futile.
    Cunt, cunt and cunt, in that order

    • If I’m in the lead tractor,I like to leave my off-side indicator continually flashing.It just puts that little extra doubt in any faltering overtaker’s mind…of course I wouldn’t be haring along at 25mph,I’ve got all day,so no reason for me to rush.

      • And if all else fails, you drop the plough to keep the bugger in the furrows. I know you, don’t I?

      • I’m every ploughjockey, K. …We go to a Special school to hone our rustic ways. That’s why the general public love us.

  17. It’s going to be even worse when these driverless cars start making phone calls to each other. They’re fucking useless at the moment, crashing into things without braking and not seeing big white trucks. It’s going to be a facking disaster (facking cants, with thanks to B&WC)

  18. I was driving and about to go around the slight bend in the road (which has a junction leading on to it on the bend) when some Indian/Pakistani woman flies out in front of me without giving way as you should. I beep at the cunt and she looks at me like Im a cunt and in the wrong. The Indians/Pakistanis usually have the right idea regarding their women as they keep them mostly in the house raising the kids and cleaning and cooking but I can only assume that Abdul was too ill to drive and the Shop was about to run out of curry powder so I’ll let the bitch off. On a side note what is it with cunts (usually women) at petrol stations… Its simple you walk to your vehicle after paying and put the key in and drive off. Nah not that simple for some cunts they sit there pissing about with something, check their make up or find some other pointless thing to do whilst a load of people have to wait. The cunts.

  19. Any of the mods know why I keep getting the message about not accepting users behind proxies whenever I try to comment? On every device I use I can comment once or twice before getting that same message every other time.

    • If you are not accessing something illegal (and this isn’t (yet)) or selling illicit medicaments on the dark web, it is unnecessary to use Tor…sorry if I’ve discovered your secret…

    • It’s quite tastefully done though. Got to admit I’ve whacked a few out over that advert.

      • Giving further thought the advert is also clearly racist, inferring that black is longer and more preferable.

        Disgraceful advert. I am very offended.

  20. If you want to see cunt drivers just drive around West fucking Yorkshire (Allah’s own county) Halifax and Bradford in particular. Pig ignorant, dangerous Parkingstanley cunts.

  21. I see there is ‘outrage’ because some useless cunt at the Bank of England used ‘menopausal’ to describe the economy. Do these cunts scan the news and twatter to be ‘outraged’?

  22. Spot on, RP.

    If I could have just one real magic trick up my sleeve, it would be a one-hundred ft deep, 10′ x 10′ hole in the ground.

    Spot a mobile-obsessed cunt, locate the hole strategically, and Bang!! the cunt disappears forever…

  23. Sadly, some of these massive cuuuuunts only exist to be “outraged.”

    Fuck all else, it seems.

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